“You must miss your mother terribly,” he said. “I was surprised when I heard about her passing. The last time I’d seen her in church she seemed very spry.”
Her gaze suddenly dropped to the tabletop, but Conall didn’t miss the sadness on her face. The image bothered him almost as much as her tears had yesterday. And for some reason he felt guilty for not attending Mrs. Valdez’s funeral services. Even though he’d not known the woman personally, he should have made the effort for Vanessa’s sake. But at that time, she’d not been working as his secretary; she’d merely been a past acquaintance, who’d left the valley years ago.
“Yes. Mama appeared to be a picture of health. That made her sudden heart attack even harder to take,” she said quietly, then lifted her gaze back to him. “Her death was one of the main reasons I left Las Vegas and returned to Tinnie. I missed the end of my mother’s life. I want to be around for my father as much as I can before… he leaves me.”
Other than the twins, she certainly didn’t have much in the way of family. The idea troubled Conall, although he wasn’t sure why. Plenty of people he knew had lost their parents or were lacking family of any kind and they didn’t necessarily garner his sympathy. At least, not the deep sort of regret he felt for Vanessa.
“You gave up a very good job to return to your family home and your father,” he commented. “I have to admire you for that, Vanessa.”
Her eyes were full of doubt as they connected with his.
“I’m not sure that I made the most sensible decision, Conall. I did have a good job and a little house in a nice part of town. Materially speaking, I had much more here in Vegas than I ever had in the valley. But.” Pausing, she let out a long sigh. “Money isn’t a cure-all.”
No one knew that any better than Conall. Money couldn’t change the fact that a childhood fever had killed his chances to ever father a child of his own. Nor had money been able to fix his shattered marriage. In fact, being rich had only compounded the problems he’d endured with Nancy. But since his divorce he’d tried his best to bury those painful personal details. They certainly weren’t matters he wanted to discuss with a woman, and that included Vanessa.
“You’re not worried about the twins’ financial future, are you?” he asked. “Hope’s life insurance appears to have left them set up nicely for college.”
“I’m not worried about the financial part of this,” she replied. “My parents raised six children. Surely I can manage two.”
“But you’re not married,” he pointed out.
From the stiff line of her shoulders to the purse of her lips, everything about her looked offended by his comment.
“You think having a man around would be a help?”
The bitterness in her short laugh was something he’d never heard from her before. The idea that this gentle woman might hold any sort of hard streak inside her took him by surprise. “I’m a man,” he answered. “I like to think we’re a helpful gender.”
Frowning, her gaze left his to travel to an insignificant spot across the room. “Look, Conall, I’ve already had one husband I had to support, I don’t want another. I can do just fine without that added burden.”
So she’d ended up marrying a man just like her parasitic brothers. No wonder there was bitterness on her tongue. But how and why had she made such a mistake in judgment? He would have thought she’d seen enough freeloading men to spot one at first glance.
Yeah. Just like you’d been able to spot Nancy’s twisted character. You didn’t use good judgment with her, either. You allowed love to lead you around. And around. Until you were walking down a path of destruction.
Clearing his throat, he tried to ignore the mocking voice going off inside him. “I wasn’t trying to suggest—”
Shaking her head, she interrupted, “Forget it, please. I… didn’t mean to sound so catty. It’s just that after Jeff… Well, I resent the idea of being told I need a man.”
Like he resented his family telling him he needed another woman in his life, Conall thought. Hell, getting hooked up with another woman like Nancy would finish him. And finding a nice, family-oriented woman that he could love wasn’t as simple as it sounded. Oh, he’d tried. Once the initial blow of his divorce was over, he’d returned to the dating scene and attempted to put his heart into starting his life over with another woman. But as soon as he made it clear that he couldn’t father children, all his dates had backed away from him. Sure, for the most part they’d all been kind and empathetic to his problem, but in the end none of them had wanted to start out their lives with a man that couldn’t give them a family of their own. After a while, Conall had grown so weary of being rejected over and over that he’d finally given up on finding love, marriage and anything in between. And for the past few years he’d pretty much convinced himself that he was better off being alone and focusing all his attention to his job.
Vanessa’s cynical remark was still dangling in the air between them when the waitress arrived with their drinks and salads. After the young woman served them and went on her way, he could feel Vanessa’s gaze on him and he paused from the task of stirring sugar into his tea to glance at her. Clearly, from the expression on her face, she wanted to speak her mind about something.
“What?” he prompted.
She hesitated before giving her head a slight shake. The gentle waves of hair lying on her shoulders shook with the movement as did the blue teardrops dangling from her earlobes. Suddenly Conall was wondering how it would feel to thrust his fingers into her silky hair, to nibble on the perfect little shell of her ear.
“I don’t know how to say this, Conall, without making you angry.”
Trying to concentrate on her words instead of the erotic images in his mind, he asked, “What makes you think I’ll be angry? I’ve not gotten angry with you yet, have I?”
He would admit that he often got frustrated with business dealings and the roadblocks he encountered while dealing with the multitudes of details that went into managing a ranch the size of the Diamond D. But he’d never gotten upset with Vanessa. She’d always given more than a hundred percent to her job and he appreciated her effort.
She reached for the pepper shaker and shook it vigorously over her salad. “Because you’re going to think I’m ungrateful. And I’m not. I’m actually very indebted to you for making this trip with me and… everything else you’ve taken care of. But I—”
A faint smile curled up one corner of his mouth.
“You don’t want me telling you how to take care of the twins or what you might need in your personal life.
Is that it?”
She studied him for a long moment and then laughed softly under her breath. Conall likened the sound to sweet music.
“That’s about it,” she answered.
Amused by her streak of independence, he finished stirring his tea. “In other words, while we’re on this trip I need to forget that I’m your boss and you’re my secretary.”
The tip of her tongue came out to moisten her lips and Conall found himself gazing at the damp sheen it left behind. What would she taste like? he wondered. Honey? Wine? Or simply all woman? He certainly didn’t need to know. But he sure as hell wouldn’t mind making the effort to find out.
She said, “Uh, well, I suppose that’s a way of putting it.”
The smile on his face deepened and he realized with a start that he was flirting. Something he’d not done in years or, for that matter, even wanted to do.
“Good,” he said.
One of her winged brows shot upward. “Good? I thought you were a man who always wanted to be the boss.”
Chuckling