* * *
‘Kitty Nelson?’
She looked up as the fertility nurse called her name. This was it.
She was going to be a surrogate. The ethics committee had approved their application and now, if everything went according to plan, in nine months’ time she would deliver a healthy baby for Jess and Cam, and her, to love.
Jess’s eggs had been fertilised and the embryos created. All that was left was the implantation.
Kitty stood up and Jess followed suit. Kitty was surprised to find her legs were shaky. There was a lot of expectation riding on today but she hadn’t realised she had felt the pressure. There wasn’t much about it she could control, but now that the moment had come she desperately hoped she would turn out to be the perfect host. The perfect surrogate for a perfect baby.
‘Are you sure you don’t want me to come in with you?’ Jess asked.
Kitty could hear the pleading note in her voice but she’d made up her mind and she was going to stand firm on this point.
She reached over and held Jess’s hand.
‘I don’t watch you and Cam making babies, I’m not going to let you watch me getting impregnated.’
Cam was by the window, looking out at the city streets several floors below, pacing up and down, already looking like an expectant father. Fortunately he hadn’t asked to watch.
‘Cam and I didn’t make this baby the traditional way.’
‘I know, but it would still be weird to have you in the room.’
‘But you’re happy for us to be there when the baby is born?’
Kitty nodded. ‘Of course!’ Although she’d have some ground rules then too—for instance, Cam would have to stay away from the business end, but she would discuss that later. Her first priority was to get pregnant.
‘OK,’ Jess said as she wrapped Kitty in a hug. ‘Good luck.’
Kitty could feel Jess’s bones as she hugged her sister back. She was still way too thin. ‘It’ll be fine.’
‘I can’t believe that in a matter of minutes you could be pregnant. I’m going to be a mum.’
If everything went to plan, Kitty thought, but she kept quiet. She needed to be in a positive frame of mind. She needed to believe this was going to work. A new life, a new member of the family to love, was just what they all needed. After their baby sister had drowned at the age of two, and then losing their parents in a car accident when Kitty was just nineteen, followed by Jess’s shock cancer diagnosis two and a half years ago, they needed something to look forward to.
She kissed Jess’s cheek and stepped back. ‘See you soon.’
* * *
Joe was watching the clock, hoping he didn’t get a last-minute call-out before the end of his night shift. It had been busy, but that wasn’t uncommon. Saturday nights were always frantic, filled with the usual jobs—drunk and disorderly men getting into fights, drug overdoses, car accidents, car versus pedestrian accidents, heart attacks or indigestion that people mistook for heart attacks... The new crew was due at any moment and if the phones remained quiet for five more minutes he’d get out of there on time. He kept his fingers crossed. If he got out on time he might catch Kitty.
He was missing her company. The week that she’d stayed with him was now months ago but he’d got used to having her around and the months since she’d been gone had dragged. But at least she wasn’t back with Mike. She’d moved out of Joe’s apartment and in with Jess and Cam. They’d decided that it would be the best place for Kitty to live while they went through the surrogacy application and hopefully a successful pregnancy. That way Jess figured she’d get to be involved every step of the way. They’d assumed that the surrogacy process would be successful. Joe could understand why—what was the point of going ahead with the plan if you thought it was going to fail? But he was worried that they could all be setting themselves up for heartache.
Kitty had had enough heartache in her life.
But he’d barely seen her since she’d moved out. She’d been caught up in the surrogacy plans and even at work their paths hadn’t crossed often. Although he was based at the ambulance station adjacent to the North Sydney Hospital, even their shifts hadn’t coincided much, and more often than not when he’d brought patients to the ED or called in on a break she hadn’t been rostered on.
His shift finished on time and he was able to get across to the ED before Kitty left the hospital. He sighed in relief.
‘Hi.’ He greeted her as she walked through the exit.
‘Joe!’ Her smile lit up her face and he found himself beaming back at her. It was good to see her. Really good. ‘Have you finished your shift?’ she asked.
‘Yep. Signed out, all done.’
‘Well, your timing is perfect,’ she said as she tucked her hand through his elbow and fell into step beside him. ‘I need to talk to you and I’m starving. Have you got time for breakfast?’
‘Sure.’
They walked the few blocks to their regular café on Manly Beach and grabbed a table with a view over the water. The sun was still low in the sky but after a night cooped up in the hospital Joe knew that Kitty would want to be outside despite the glare.
Joe ordered his usual big breakfast while Kitty chose fresh fruit, yoghurt and muesli. She was restless, her feet jiggled constantly, and she was sitting on the edge of her seat. ‘Are you going to be able to sit still long enough to eat?’ he asked.
‘Not unless I tell you my news first.’
‘Go on, then,’ Joe said as the waitress brought a coffee for him and a green tea for Kitty.
‘I did a pregnancy test yesterday.’
‘Already?’
Kitty nodded. ‘It’s two weeks tomorrow since the procedure.’
He knew that. He’d been keeping tabs on the process. He didn’t need to ask what the result was, he could see in her eyes—excitement was written all over her face. He didn’t need her to tell him the result but she told him anyway.
‘It was positive!’
‘You know it could be a false positive this early.’ He didn’t think he wanted to burst her bubble of happiness but his comment was out before he’d had time to censor it. He’d done some research and he knew the fertility clinics advised their patients not to do home tests but to wait for the official blood test. He assumed it was because there were too many occasions when people got false positive results.
‘I know.’ Kitty nodded. ‘But I couldn’t resist. I feel like it’s worked. My boobs are tender...’ She pressed on her boobs and Joe had to force himself to avert his eyes. He didn’t want to be caught looking. ‘And I had to know.’
‘Who else have you told?’
Kitty frowned, a little crease appearing between her dark brows. ‘No one. The official blood test is still a couple of days away so I won’t say anything to Jess until then, but I had to tell someone. I wanted to tell you.’
Joe knew he should be pleased, he knew how much this meant to her. He appreciated that she’d shared her news with him but he was surprised to find he was experiencing another unexpected emotion. He could taste it.
The sour taste of jealousy.
He had never actually considered what would happen when Kitty eventually settled down and had babies. He knew it was what she wanted but he hadn’t thought about the ramifications, the reality. He hadn’t