Which was how she came to be in her current position, encircled by the glossy journals on her bed. Now scantily clad, heavily made-up women gazed back at her with much boredom, their images surrounded by headlines that screamed instructions like, JUST DO IT—in Every Room in the House! and Find His Erogenous Zones—and Help Him find YOURS! and Call of the Siren—BE the Devil with the Blue Dress On!
Miriam shook her head in bemusement. Did women truly read these articles? she wondered. Did they genuinely find them helpful? Did they honestly put their “tips” to good use? Because she herself couldn’t imagine the magazine actually offering any information that the normal, average—i.e. not a nymphomaniac—woman might be able to actually apply to her normal, average—i.e. not oversexed—everyday life.
Miriam set her tea on her nightstand and was about to collect the assortment and return them to the box in which she’d originally placed them, when her gaze lit on one headline in particular.
Awaken Your Inner Temptress! it shouted at her. And below it, in smaller letters, You Know You Want to!
Hmm, thought Miriam.
And in the same issue: Go from Invisible to Irresistible in Just Seven Seductive Steps!
And somehow Miriam found herself reaching for the issue in question, telling herself, Well, it won’t hurt to look, now, will it?
She flipped to the Inner Temptress article first, and read all about how she was suppressing a very natural part of her psyche by refusing to admit that she could turn any man of her acquaintance into putty with her bare hands—all she had to do was uncover the secrets of what those bare hands could do. And as she read further, she discovered that her bare hands, the very ordinary-looking ones with the short, clipped nails, the ones that sorted efficiently through the card catalogue everyday, the ones that capably sliced fresh, nutritious vegetables for her regular evening repast, could also, very easily…
Oh, my.
Oh, my goodness, no. They couldn’t do that. Could they? Well, perhaps they could, she finally conceded as she read a bit further. Maybe if she did awaken her Inner Temptress.
Miriam blushed furiously when she realized the avenue down which her thoughts had traveled. Oh, no, her bare hands could not do that, either, she told herself sternly. They couldn’t even do it if they had on gloves. Which, when one considered such a scenario, actually added a rather naughty dimension to the potential, all things considered, especially if they were latex gloves, and—
No, she insisted more firmly. She was not going to indulge in such…such…such wanton behavior, Inner Temptress or no Inner Temptress. Miriam Thornbury simply was not that kind of girl. The very idea. Honestly.
So what else did the article have to say…?
As she continued with her reading, Miriam also learned that she wasn’t putting her store of repartee to effective use at all. No, where she had always been under the impression that good repartee was generally used more for, oh, say…conversation, she now discovered that it was widely used, particularly in Europe, as a tool for sexual enticement. She’d had no idea, truly. How she had lived her life for twenty-eight years without such knowledge was beyond her.
Reading further, she also learned how one’s very wardrobe could be used as a weapon of seduction. This actually came as no surprise, because Miriam did, after all, receive the Victoria’s Secret catalogue, even if the only thing she had ever ordered from it were those wonderful flowing, white Victorian nightgowns that took up only two pages of the publication. She had at least looked at the rest of the catalogue. And she’d been reasonably certain that most of those other undergarments were not worn for the sake of comfort and functionality. Mainly because they looked in no way comfortable or functional, what with all their squeezing and lifting and expanding of a woman’s—
Well. At any rate the undergarments weren’t what one might call practical. Which meant they were worn for some other purpose than to be, well, practical. And it didn’t take a genius to realize what that purpose was. S-E-X. ’Nuff said.
Still, it had never occurred to Miriam that she herself might don one of those sexy fashions. One of the cute little black ones, say. Made of that delicious-looking, see-through lace. With those brief, naughty demi-cups. And garters. Oh, yes. According to Metropolitan magazine, one must wear garters if one was to proceed successfully with awakening one’s Inner Temptress. And now that Miriam did think about donning such…accoutrements…
She blushed furiously, that’s what she did.
How on earth could she even think of such a thing? Miriam Thornbury was not the black-lace, demicup, garter-belt type. No, ma’am. Flowing, white, ankle-length, embroidered cotton was much more her style. Still, she might make some headway in the repartee department, she told herself. She’d always been very good at repartee. She’d just never tried to use it for…temptation. Now that she did give some thought to the possibility of doing so…
She blushed furiously again.
Absolutely not. There was no way she would be able to walk up to Professor Rory Monahan at the library and say something like, “Hello, Rory. Is that volume fifteen of Stegman’s Guide to the Peloponnesian War you have in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That would never do.
She sighed fitfully as she tossed the magazine back onto the bed. Clearly, her Inner Temptress was sleeping quite soundly. Clearly, her Inner Temptress was out like a light. Clearly, her Inner Temptress was buried much too deep inside to ever show her face in Marigold, Indiana. It was ridiculous to even think about becoming such a thing. She was practical, pragmatic Miriam Thornbury. Capable, competent Miriam Thornbury. Staid, sensible Miriam Thornbury.
Drab, dull Miriam Thornbury, she concluded morosely. No wonder Rory Monahan scarcely paid her any heed.
Ah, well, she thought further. Even if she was a devil with a blue dress on, Rory Monahan still probably wouldn’t pay her any heed. He was a man on a quest. A quest for Knowledge with a capital K. Not even a devil with a blue dress on would have a hope of swaying him from his chosen course. Not unless that devil with a blue dress on was holding volume fifteen of Stegman’s Guide to the Peloponnesian War, or some such thing.
Hmmm, Miriam thought again, brightening.
Just how badly did she want Rory Monahan to notice her? she asked herself. And immediately she had her answer. Pretty badly. After all, she’d spent virtually the last six months wanting him to notice her. She’d spent virtually the last six months wanting him, period.
For six months she’d been walking into the Marigold Free Public Library in her usual fashion, to find the good professor sitting at his usual table in the reference section, performing his usual research in his usual manner. And she’d always melted in her usual fashion at how his blue eyes twinkled in their usual way, and how his mouth crooked up in his usual shy smile, and how his fingers threaded through his jet hair in his usual gesture of utter preoccupation. And she always responded to him in her usual way—by becoming very hot and very confused and very flustered.
And she’d spent the last six months, too, doing things and thinking about things that no self-respecting librarian should ever do or think about. Not in a public facility like a library, anyway. Because Miriam had spent the last six months fantasizing about Rory Monahan. Naturally, she’d also spent the last six months trying to reassure herself that the only reason she fantasized about him was because…because… Well, because…
Hmmm. Actually, now that she thought more about it, she wasn’t sure why she’d been fantasizing about him. Suddenly, though, now that she thought more about it, she realized that she very much wanted to find out.
Because