Even if it killed her.
“WOULD YOU LIKE a break before we meet?” Maddie’s tone was clipped, giving Nick an indication of how their private meeting was going to unfold. They were the only ones left in the conference room.
“No, thanks. I have a lot to do before my first session with the kids.”
Folding her arms over her chest, she faced him squarely. “Which you will run by me.”
Okay, so he’d make the first move. He stood, walked down to her end and took an adjacent chair. “Maddie…Madelyn, what’s going on? It sounds like I have to tell you everything I plan to do.”
“You have a problem with running things by me?”
“The problem is, I was hired to head the teen division.”
“I’m your boss, Nick.”
“Technically. But we both know I was brought here unaware of that fact.” She opened her mouth to speak, but he held up his hand. “No, let me finish. You’re right, I owe it to John to stay. I want to help him out. And truthfully, this is an ideal job for me. But John assured me I’d be given carte blanche here.”
“John assured me you weren’t going to fly solo on this.”
“Are you assigning another counselor to my group because you don’t trust me? Because our counseling styles are different?”
“No, I meant it when I said I think it’s better for the kids. The other counselors agree.” She studied him. “You have a tough group there, Nick. I’ve already met with each of them. You’ll need all the help you can get.”
“I’ve read their files.” He planned to have them memorized by the time he met with the kids.
“Then you know what’s ahead of you.”
“Who’s the other counselor?”
“I’m not sure. I have three people interested, but I have to get the funding before I can hire someone. I’m expecting confirmation today.”
“Maybe it won’t come through,” he said almost to himself.
“I hope it does. Don’t forget, you’ll be doing more than counseling. You’ve got to oversee the kids’ legal situations, restitution and a whole slew of other details.”
“There are people working here who take care of those areas.”
“But you have to determine what those people need to do and make sure that everything is being done. Your job involves a lot of juggling.”
He shook his head.
She stared at him. “You’re going to have to learn to play nice with others, Nick. No matter how much you need to keep that personal shield around you.”
He hadn’t expected a dig so soon, especially after she’d asked him to stay. “Is that what this is all about, our former relationship?”
“No.” Her face reddened. “And don’t ever accuse me of that again.”
He drummed his fingers on the table. “Look, I don’t want to argue with you.”
“We aren’t arguing. You’ll have another counselor in the group with you, period. And I’m entitled to know your plans for the kids, what you’re doing, how it’s going.”
“You want to know, or approve my plans?”
She sighed heavily. “I’m sure there won’t be much disagreement between us about those things. We do have different styles, as you say, but I never opposed yours when we worked together before. I don’t know why you think I would now.”
Leaning back in the chair, he tried to appear relaxed and confident. “All right. I’ll agree to that. But I’m not coming to the staff support group.” Surely she’d let him off this one. She knew how hard it was for him to open up, damn it. He’d only recently been able to talk about his feelings with his brother Dan and sister-in-law, Tessa. His close relationship with them was one of the reasons he’d come to Rockford when they’d decided to relocate here.
“You have no choice in that, either.”
“It’s not my thing, Maddie.”
“If you’ve read the psychology journals lately you know that having a staff support group prevents burnout and alleviates stress. I’m not flying by the seat of my pants on this, Nick. And for the record, I’m well aware of your personality. This, however, is nonnegotiable.” She drew in a breath and seemed to collect herself. “You can pass on the personal stuff if you have to.”
“Personal stuff?”
“Each week we share a professional success and challenge and a personal success and challenge.”
“Oh, great.”
“It is great. After the first few meetings, the staff voted unanimously to keep the sessions going.”
He stared at her.
“And I provide lunch. Sometimes I even cook.”
“That’s a switch. When we were together, you could barely boil water. I cooked for you all the time.”
“I take cooking classes. And please don’t refer to our personal relationship.”
“Why? Your subtext is referring to it all the time.” When she didn’t respond, he watched her. “How are you, really?”
Her intense gaze never wavered from his. “I’m good, Nick, really good.” She stood. “I’ll show you your office.” She gestured around the room. “This is where you’ll hold your support groups.”
Nick studied the formal space with its dark cherry paneling and furniture. “Unacceptable.”
She sighed, exasperated. “Why?”
“I can’t hold a support group here for kids. It has no teen atmosphere.”
Her eyes sparked with interest this time.
“We need a place to call ours. Teen-friendly furniture, posters on the wall, books and materials spread around. I’ll also need a fridge for snacks, personal journals for each kid, arts and crafts materials.”
“Sounds like you have things all planned out.”
“As you said, I know what I’m doing.”
“Yes, of course you do.”
“Is my office big enough to turn into a group room?”
She thought for a minute. “We can do better than that. Come on, I’ll show you a storage area that you can use. It’ll need some work, though it does have big windows.”
“Thanks. For giving in on this.”
“I’m not giving in. I never had any intention of blocking good ideas. I will not, however, let you steamroll me.”
“Of course you won’t.”
She started to gather her papers.
“I’d like to say one more thing.”
“What?”
“I, um, want to apologize for everything that happened in the past. How I behaved.” He cringed, thinking of the last time he’d seen that pretty face of hers; it had been awash with tears. The last thing he’d heard that husky voice say was, You’re leaving because I thought I was pregnant, aren’t you? “I’m sorry, Maddie.”
“Apology accepted. In return, I’d like your promise not to bring up our past again. We need to concentrate on helping people here. Are you capable of doing that? Because if you’re not, this will never work.”