FOUR hours later, the fire was out. The building was blackened and charred in places, there was the smell of wet embers everywhere, and a mixture of smoke and steam hung in the air. The job was done—but the crew found no satisfaction in it. Not when two small lives hung in the balance.
Even though Kelsey had a shower and washed her hair when she got back to the fire station, she could still smell the smoke. Taste it. Feel it in her eyes. Feel it in the back of her throat.
She couldn’t stand the waiting any more. She needed to know. She called the hospital and got through to the reception desk in the emergency department. ‘I wondered if you could tell me how Mikey and Lucy are, the two kids brought in from the school fire?’
‘Are you a relative?’ the receptionist asked.
‘No, I’m one of the firefighters.’ The one who hadn’t got them out in time.
‘Sorry. I’m afraid we can’t give out information over the phone.’
Well, it was what she’d expected. ‘Thanks anyway.’ But there was another way she could find out. Someone else who could tell her. She speed-dialled Matt’s mobile number. Please, don’t let him be driving or in the hospital, when his phone would be diverted to his voicemail.
Well, it shouldn’t be. She’d ended up working past the end of her shift. He should be home now—or even if he’d gone out with the crew for a Friday evening post-shift drink, he’d have his mobile on.
She hoped.
To her relief, he answered his mobile within three rings. ‘Matt Fraser.’
‘Hey. It’s me.’
‘Is the fire out, or are you just having a break and change of crews?’
She smiled. Clearly he’d remembered that firefighters were relieved after a four-hour stint and took a break—a wash, change and something to eat and drink, then back at the front again. Well, he should know after eighteen months of sharing a house with her. ‘It’s out.’
‘Good. You on your way home now?’
‘Yeah.’ She took a deep breath. ‘Matt, I called the hospital. They wouldn’t tell me. Do you know how the kids are doing?’
‘Yes.’ There was a long, long pause that told her everything she didn’t want to know. ‘I’m sorry. They didn’t make it.’
She swore. ‘If I’d found them thirty seconds earlier—’
‘It’s not your fault, Kels. It really isn’t.’
So why did it feel that it was?
‘You did your best. So did Dale and I, on our way to the hospital. And the resus team when we got to the emergency department. But it wasn’t anybody’s fault. Who could have guessed that the boiler was going to go up like that? Or that the fire would spread that fast? Or that the kids had slipped out from the after-school club into another room and would hide in a cupboard when the fire alarm went off?’
‘Mmm.’ She didn’t trust herself to speak. Her eyes felt sore and gritty, and not just from exposure to smoke and heat.
‘Kels.’ His voice was soft, understanding. Like a hug down the phone line. Warm and strong and comforting. And how she wished he was right in front of her, holding her close. ‘Don’t beat yourself up. You’ve had four hours of hard work, carrying nearly thirty pounds of kit on your back. You must be shattered. And it was a nightmare job. It’s the first time you’ve been to a fire at a school, isn’t it?’
‘Yeah.’
He pressed on. ‘The first time you’ve not been able to save a child.’
She dragged in a breath. ‘Yeah,’ she whispered. She’d been to a couple of big blazes where they’d lost people, but she’d never been to a fire where they’d lost a child. Two children. One of whom she actually knew, from her fire prevention work at the school. She’d never have believed it would hurt so much. Or that it would affect her like this. She was a trained professional. She wasn’t supposed to feel this way.
‘It’s your first one, of course you’ll be feeling emotional. Anyone would, in your shoes. I remember the first time I couldn’t save a kid in a car crash and it hit me pretty hard. Look, I’m at home. I’ll come and pick you up.’
‘No. I’m fine,’ she mumbled. ‘Be home soon.’ Though when she ended the call, she let the phone drop on the table, propped her elbows on the wood and rested her forehead on her clenched fists. She should have been able to save those kids. She’d failed in her job. She’d been saved from a mangled car in her hour of need—but she’d failed to do the same for Mikey and Lucy. She hadn’t paid her debt. She’d failed them, just like she’d failed Danny.
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