‘Captain Hernshaw?’ Arabella nodded, remembering the gentleman for his kindness. ‘He may have saved my life the day Sir Courtney tried to kill us both, Sarah. I always liked him. He might be a good choice if you wished to marry…’ She hesitated for a moment, and then, ‘Have you heard about John?’
‘John Elworthy?’ Sarah’s heart caught a beat. She looked at Arabella intently. ‘What about John?’
‘You said that you knew he was married?’
‘Yes, I had Charles’s letter.’
‘His wife gave birth to a son seven months after they were married. I heard that she fell down the stairs and that was why the baby was born early…’ Arabella paused, feeling uncertain. Sarah’s eyes were shadowed with some painful emotion and she almost wished she had not begun this, and yet it might be best if it came from her. ‘Andrea killed herself six months after her son was born. John tried to convince everyone that she was ill and didn’t know what she was doing, but the church refused to allow him to have her buried in consecrated ground.’
‘Oh, no!’ Sarah cried, looking shocked. Her own pain was forgotten as she thought of what he must have suffered. ‘That is awful for poor John. He must have felt wretched. Why did she kill herself, Belle? What can have made her do such a terrible thing?’
‘No one knows for certain. I don’t think John understands it—though I know he blames himself for her death. He says that the birth of the child had pulled her down, upset the balance of her mind…that she must have walked into the river in some frantic fit of despair.’ Arabella also sensed that there were thoughts that John did not share with his friends, for she had seen the shadows that lurked in his eyes and knew that he was tormented by his wife’s suicide.
‘That is such a terrible thing to happen,’ Sarah said and tears stung her eyes as she pictured John’s distress. ‘He must have been so distressed. He could only have been married a short time.’
‘Just over a year in all,’ Arabella said. ‘I know how it feels to lose someone you love, Sarah—but my first husband died a hero. John bears the burden of his wife’s shame and her illness. I have seen him only once since the funeral, but Charles has visited with him for a few days. He says that John blames himself for her death and I am sure he is right. It is hardly surprising that he should feel it so deeply. You know how gentle and caring John has always been, Sarah.’
‘Yes, I do,’ Sarah agreed and her throat was tight with emotion. ‘But I am certain that he has no reason to blame himself. His wife must surely have been ill?’
‘That is what Elizabeth and Daniel both say,’ Arabella said. ‘I am not sure if you know the Earl and Countess of Cavendish? They live quite close to John and knew his wife a little, though she did not go out often. I only met her twice. That reminds me, Daniel and Elizabeth are coming to stay with us in a few days so you will meet them then.’
‘I remember the earl,’ Sarah said. ‘He and Charles were friends before I was abducted. It was the earl who first discovered what had happened to me, wasn’t it?’ She nodded as Arabella confirmed it. ‘Yes, I thought so. I don’t believe I have met his wife, though.’
‘You will like Elizabeth,’ Arabella said confidently. ‘She is one of my best friends now. We visit each other often. Elizabeth has twin sons of about Harry’s age. She would like a daughter, but as yet it has not happened for her.’
‘She is lucky to have her sons,’ Sarah said, a slightly wistful look in her eyes. She had held her nephew Harry and the feel of his soft, warm body in her arms had made her feel decidedly broody. ‘As you are to have yours, Belle. Do you want another boy or a girl this time?’
‘I really do not mind,’ Arabella said, a look of serenity on her face. ‘We are quite happy to have whatever God sends us, Sarah. Another boy or a girl will be equally loved.’
‘Yes, of course,’ Sarah said and held back a sigh. She could not help envying her sister-in-law her obvious contentment with life. Such happiness would be denied to her, unless she married. ‘Mama keeps telling me I should marry, Belle. I think it would be all right. I am not afraid of being touched by a man now, as long as I truly cared for him, that is—but I haven’t found anyone I can love. Is it foolish of me to hope for it? I want to be loved and happy the way you and my brother are. Or should I marry for position and comfort as Mama seems to think I ought?’ She frowned, for it seemed to her that she was unlikely to fall in love again. She had met several attractive and charming gentlemen in Italy, but none of them had touched her heart.
‘I think you should wait until you are certain,’ Arabella told her. ‘You have a month here with us before the Season starts. Just relax and enjoy yourself, dearest. Charles will be on your side whatever you want, you know that, Sarah. He wouldn’t let your mama push you into an unwise marriage.’
‘Thank you, dearest Belle,’ Sarah said and laughed. ‘I dare say Mama is right. I ought to marry one day, but I do not want to marry anyone I cannot love.’ She sighed and a wistful look came to her pretty face. ‘Oh, I don’t know…’ It was foolish to look back. She had to move on, to leave the nightmare of the past behind.
Arabella kept her thoughts to herself. She had not forgotten that time before Sarah left for Italy. She had sensed there was something special between the girl and John Elworthy. In fact, she had been quite shocked when John married so soon afterwards. She had gone to his wedding, thinking that the slight, pale girl he had taken for his bride was not the equal of Sarah in either looks or intelligence. She had seemed desperately shy of all her husband’s friends, even nervous. Arabella had wondered why John had married the girl, because she had sensed that he was not in love with her. Oh, he had been gentle and kind, constantly attentive to her—but it was the kindness that a man might show to his young sister rather than the woman he loved.
Arabella felt a little guilty that she had not told Sarah that John was also to be one of their guests. Equally, John had no idea that Sarah and Mrs Hunter were staying. She was hoping that the shock of seeing one another without warning might start spark off some reaction, making them realise that the feelings they had had for each other more than two years ago were still there.
‘I am looking forward to seeing Lady Tate and Tilda when we go up to London,’ Mrs Hunter said as she sat in the front parlour with her daughter-in-law some days later. ‘How is dear Hester? She left us as soon as she heard you were with child, because she wanted to be of use to you in your confinement. And of course Tilda accompanied her home. I understand she is living with your aunt now. That attack of smallpox laid her very low and she thought she would rather be in England. Sarah and I missed them—though of course we had already made so many friends in Italy that we were never alone. Did Sarah tell you how sorry the Conte was to see us leave?’
‘Yes, she did mention it. Tilda divides her time between Aunt Hester and us these days, which suits us all,’ Arabella said. She had heard of the Conte di Ceasares several times from Mrs Hunter, and knew that her mother-in-law was suffering from frustration at Sarah’s apparent lack of interest in finding a suitable husband. She smiled at her mother-in-law and showed her the exquisite smocking she was working on a gown for the new baby. ‘How was it that Sarah nursed Tilda when she was ill? I am surprised that you allowed it, Mama.’
‘Sarah seems to be immune to the disease,’ her mother said. ‘Some friends of ours had it years ago. Sarah had been playing with their children, but she did not take it from them. Nor did she seem affected in Italy. She nursed Tilda, as you know—but did she tell you that she insisted on caring for the children of one of our friends there?’ Arabella shook her head. ‘They had gone down with it too and Sarah suspected that their nurse was not looking after them as she should. She took over the nursery and happily both recovered. I think it was that act of courage that made the Conte fall in love with her. He said that she was as brave as she was lovely and gave her a beautiful gold brooch to thank her.’
‘Yes, she is brave. I have always thought so.’