“I’m sure you’re good at what you do, Callie.” Deck leaned closer. “You wouldn’t take a job if it didn’t challenge you.”
“Thank you,” she said, distracted by the sexual sparks flying between them. Funny how the pale light of the moon was all she needed to read him now. In broad daylight he’d been a mystery to her.
“You’re only as good as your last event,” she said to distract herself. “There’s a lot of pressure, and word of screwups travels fast.”
Her mind wandered to Deck, naked beneath the water. Was he aroused? She’d begun to feel the champagne. She had to keep them talking. “How about you? What else do you do besides the ranch? Not that that’s not plenty.”
Deck chuckled. “It’s okay, Callie. You don’t have to watch every word. We got off on the wrong foot.”
He reached across and touched her arm, his fingers warm from the water. She couldn’t help but sink lower and suck in a breath. “Okay. That’s good.”
Deck withdrew his hand slowly. “I stay busy. Civic BS in town—chamber of commerce, planning and zoning. I also consult with horse breeders and buyers all over the West.”
“And in your free time…?”
“I hang with friends. If I want music, I go into Tucson or up to Phoenix. For that matter, New York’s just a couple bags of salted nuts away. I’ve been there.”
“You were in the city? You didn’t call.”
“It was a long time ago. I was with someone.” He shrugged.
“But I would have taken you to dinner. We’re friends…”
“It was last-minute.”
He was right. With their history, a double date over martinis and sushi would have been awkward.
“So is New York all you expected?” he asked.
“All that and more.” She stopped herself. Why cheerlead? Naked in the springs, here with Deck, who’d always accepted anything she said, she told him the truth. “Is anything ever what you expect?”
“Maybe not.”
“New York is indescribable. Intense. Vital. Important. The people are fascinating. There’s so much to do—theater, museums, clubs, any kind of food you can imagine. It’s the heartbeat, the pulse of the country. There’s so much I love there.”
“And…?”
She felt a twinge, like a new toothache, and took a big swallow of champagne before she answered. “It can wear you out. It’s crowded. It’s expensive. It’s noisy and complicated.”
“No place is perfect.”
She smiled. “True. And I wouldn’t live anywhere else.” For now. That thought surprised her. “Part of it’s my job. Especially after a twelve-hour day, when I have to schmooze the catering manager into one more round of appetizers, conjure a smile for the client from hell who’s underpaying me, or cough up a joke before two business partners launch a fist fight with each other.”
“Sounds like an ordeal.”
“Does it? I guess it is. And, sometimes I feel…” She paused, not willing to say lonely. Too weak. In the city, you kept your cards close and your deodorant fresh. One drop of blood in the water and you were sashimi on an enamel plate.
Lately, since the breakup, she’d felt kind of alone. Even with Stefan, really, but she’d stayed too busy to notice.
“Overwhelmed,” she finished. She’d love to ask Deck if he ever felt lonely, but they were too tentative with each other. “Your mom’s doing okay?” she asked instead.
“She’s happy. Harvey’s a good guy and she likes Modesto.”
“Do you miss the Lazy J?”
“Sometimes. Pop would never have sold. I’m sure he’d have hated that I was leasing the place. I had to hand off when I finally went for my degree.”
“In what? Agribusiness?”
He laughed. “No. I got a BA in humanities. That and three-fifty will get you a venti at Starbucks. And, yes, I’ve been to Starbucks, Callie.”
“I didn’t say a word.” At least they were joking. “Your dad wouldn’t have wanted you to be strapped to the ranch forever. He’d want you to be happy.”
“It wasn’t a burden.” He shrugged.
“You sacrificed so much for your mom, staying with her so long. Meanwhile, I left my dad all alone.”
“You’re out here a lot. You call all the time.”
“Yeah, but I never know what’s really going on. I think Dad puts on a happy face for me.”
“That’s probably true. You used to do that for him, too. You were a one-girl show. Housekeeper, therapist, entertainer.”
“I just did what had to be done.”
“Maybe Cal should have looked out for you more.”
“Cheering him up cheered me, too.” Look happy and you’ll be happy. That was what she tried with everyone but Deck. With him, the mask fell away. It was falling away right now.
“It’s hard for me to be here,” she said. “It’s like I get ambushed. I miss my mother so bad I feel sick. It’s ridiculous. Eleven years have passed. What’s my problem?”
“You left so soon after she died. Maybe that’s why.”
“I think losing our parents so young changed the course of our lives. I escaped to New York and you got trapped at the Lazy J.”
“That’s pretty dramatic. You were going to New York anyway. And I told you I liked working the ranch.”
“Still…”
“Hey, hey. No regrets, remember? Live life with relish…” He paused for her to finish the old joke.
“And mustard?”
They laughed, looking into each other’s eyes, sharing the warm memory. She felt close to him again.
“I think hard times make us stronger, Callie.”
“I don’t know about that. I was a mess.” Every day had been a fight to stay at the surface, a desperate dogpaddle or she’d drop to the bottom like a stone. “If it hadn’t been for you…” Deck had held her up. Deck and his warm arms and good heart.
“We were both in the same foxhole.”
“Not exactly the same.” The deeper pain rose like the hot steam around her. “You didn’t cause your dad’s death.” She swallowed, struggling with emotion. She usually danced away from this idea.
“Your mother fell asleep driving. You weren’t in the car.”
“It was for my party. She drove all the way to Phoenix to get the stuff. If I’d settled for pizza at Dino’s, she’d be alive today.” She swallowed and blinked, embarrassed.
“Hey…” Deck moved to hug her, keeping the embrace high on their bodies. “I hate to see you in pain.”
“I know.” He had always been there for her. His skin against hers felt so right. She rested her cheek on his chest. It felt so good, as calming as back then.
Just like that, the moment changed. The comfort hug turned into something else, something more intense. Callie became aware of a hitch in Deck’s breathing and her own. His arms around her were strong and sure, his fingers dug in.
She