When he had gone reaction caught up with her and Kelly sank down on to the settee, her face a tortured mask of hatred and pain. God, the arrogance of the male sex! She loathed Jeremy’s touch, and yet he assumed he had the God-given right to touch her, just because he wanted to!
Men! She despised them all! Frigid, Jeremy called her. Well, he was probably right. Colin had said much the same. Colin! She closed her eyes, unable to stop the shudders trembling through her. Dear God, would she never be able to forget?
She had met him just after her grandfather’s death. He had worked in the same office as Ian, as a trainee accountant. They had met when Ian told her about her unexpected inheritance. At first she had been so overcome by the unexpected news that she hadn’t even been able to think properly, and it was Colin who came running after her in the street with the umbrella she had left behind.
That had been the beginning; a fairly innocuous start to the events which had had such a cataclysmic effect upon her whole life.
It had been several days later when she received a telephone call from Colin at her office, asking her to go out with him. She had been drawn to him at first sight and had willingly accepted.
They went out for a meal and then on to a film. Colin had driven her back to her grandparents’ house, where she still lived, in the old banger he had recently bought. He had kissed her goodnight, gently but determinedly, and her heart had sung with joy.
Six weeks later they were engaged. On Colin’s advice she sold the house. He wanted them to have a completely fresh start, he had told her, but she had been startled when he took her to see the large house in Hampstead he thought they should buy. When Kelly protested that it was very expensive, he had reminded her that she was a very wealthy young woman and that anyway the house was an investment for the future, adding that when he had his own practice it would be useful for entertaining clients. Kelly had agreed, although Ian demurred a little when she told him of her plans, warning her that she would have to sell some of her investments to raise the capital.
Several hectic weeks followed. The house was huge and needed certain structural alterations; Colin was away on a course, and their meetings were only infrequent, restricted to discussions on progress with the house, and briefly snatched kisses.
Kelly had an aunt who lived in the north of England, in the Borders. She was Kelly’s father’s aunt really, and quite elderly, and Kelly had promised to visit her. She talked it over with Colin and it was arranged that she would go up for a few days before the wedding so that she could relax. ‘You’ve been working so hard on the house, sweet,’ Colin had told her, ‘that you deserve a rest. I’ll be away in Birmingham at our other office, anyway… Oh, before you leave,’ he had added, ‘I’ve got one or two papers for you to sign—nothing very important.’
She had signed them between kisses, wondering what it would be like to be really Colin’s wife. Her grandmother had brought her up strictly and, a little to her surprise, Colin had made no attempt to press upon her any of the intimacies she had expected. Was he aware of how nervous she felt? she wondered as she travelled north.
Four days later she was back. She had enjoyed her stay with her aunt who, although well into her eighties, was hale and hearty. They had talked about Kelly’s grandparents, and Kelly’s father, who had been in the army and had been killed in Northern Ireland by a car bomb. Kelly’s mother had been with him, and their orphaned daughter had been brought up by her grandparents. She had been four when her parents were killed and barely remembered them.
The wedding was to be a quiet one—a register office affair, although Kelly would have preferred to be married in church.
They weren’t having a honeymoon—Colin had promised to take her away later when he had passed his final exams.
They returned to the house in Hampstead after a brief reception at a large London hotel.
Ian had been there and had kissed her cheek gravely as he told her how lovely she looked.
They returned to the Hampstead house early in the evening. Dusk was just falling, and the drawing room looked pleasant and warm as Kelly snapped on the lamps. All at once she felt awkward and uncertain. Colin had gone upstairs, and she wondered whether she ought to go up too, or whether to wait to change out of her wedding suit until he came down. If only she had more experience! She dismissed the disloyal thought that Colin’s manner was not very lover-like. Perhaps he felt as uncertain as she did herself, and she wished that their courtship had not been so brief and hurried.
‘Bathroom’s free if you want to get changed.’
She wheeled around, blushing a little as Colin walked in. He had changed into jeans and a sweater, and a tingle of excitement fired her blood as she looked at him.
‘Colin…’
She paused uncertainly, willing him to take her in his arms and kiss her, to melt her doubts and fears with the warmth of his love, but instead he merely indicated the drinks tray on the table and asked if she wanted him to pour her one.
Shaking her head, Kelly went upstairs, telling herself that her let-down feeling was only nerves. Of course it was foolish to expect Colin to sweep her into his arms and make mad passionate love to her; modern people simply didn’t behave like that.
She had just walked out of the bathroom when she heard the low hum of voices from downstairs. With no intention of eavesdropping she hesitated, wondering who on earth could have called on them tonight of all nights, when the drawing-room door was suddenly thrown open and she heard Colin saying angrily, ‘Pat, I told you never to come here!’
‘You also told me you loved me,’ Kelly heard a feminine voice reply. ‘You told me you loved me, and that this house was going to be ours—that you would have your own practice and…’
Frozen with horror and disbelief, Kelly crept to the edge of the stairs. Colin and his companion were completely oblivious to her presence.
‘And so we will, darling,’ she heard Colin murmur softly. ‘Everything will work out all right.’
‘But you didn’t have to marry her, did you?’ Kelly heard ‘Pat’ demanding angrily, ‘God, Colin, how could you?’
‘Simple,’ she heard Colin saying with new cynicism, ‘I just closed my eyes and thought of all that lovely money. Oh, come on, Pat,’ he added, ‘you don’t think I actually want her? God, she’s the most boring female I’ve ever known, a little brown mouse and frigid with it. She can’t hold a handle to you, my sweet. The only way I can endure this marriage is by telling myself that it’s for us, that…’
‘But she’s your wife!’
‘Only for six months at the most. I’ve already got her to sign the documents deeding the house to me. Once I’ve persuaded her to give me the money to set up my practice I’ll tell her the marriage is over.’
Kelly felt sick with shock and disbelief. It couldn’t be true. But it was true! She only had to look over the banister to see her Colin, her husband, with another woman in his arms, kissing her with a hunger he had never shown her, to know how true it was. Nausea welled up inside her and she rushed back into the bathroom. The pair downstairs were oblivious to everything but one another and never even heard her.
Did Colin actually intend to make love to her? Kelly wondered sickly when the bitter spasms were over. And Pat, how did she feel about sharing her lover with another woman? How could she herself permit Colin to touch her knowing what she now did?
‘KELLY? Darling, what are you doing up here?’
Kelly stared at Colin, wondering why she expected him to have changed.
He was still exactly as he had been before she discovered the truth; she was the one who had changed. She was no longer the foolish naïve child she had been then. Bitter fury welled up inside her.
‘What