“All right, I’ll admit this is a bit mind-boggling. And I’m going to need some time to think about the logistics of it all.” He’d have to make some adjustments in his life if Danny was going to become a part of it. And whether Leilani—or her aunt—liked it or not, he was going to be a father to the boy.
At least as much as he was able.
“I could use some time to get used to all of this, too,” she said. “And to figure out what I’m going to tell Danny.”
“What’s so hard about telling him he has a father who is willing to support him and be there for him?”
She bit her lip and glanced down at the table, finding her hand and fingering the heirloom ring. Then she glanced up, her expression solemn.
“Because Danny thinks you’re dead.”
Chapter Four
“You told him I died?” Luke’s voice rose above the roar of the waves crashing on the sand.
Leilani didn’t want to discuss the past or defend her decision, but that didn’t appear to be an option right now. “I did what I thought was best at the time.”
He opened his mouth to speak—or maybe to object—then snapped it shut. She imagined him counting to ten, trying to gain control of his temper.
Had he mellowed with age? As a teenager, he’d been quick to react with anger, which often led to physical altercations and, as a result, trouble with teachers or other authority figures.
“You thought my son would be better off thinking I was dead?” he finally asked.
“Back then? Yes.”
“Why?”
“I thought that would be better than knowing his father hadn’t wanted him.”
“What are you talking about? You never even gave me a chance.”
She fingered the napkin in front of her, finding it difficult to look him in the eyes, although, if she had it all to do over again, she’d make the same decision.
Or would she?
It was hard to say. If she’d known that Luke was going to do something positive with his life, she might have contacted him. But there hadn’t been a crystal ball handy.
Obviously Luke was no longer the young man she’d once known. Neither was he the convict she’d imagined he would become. And that made him a complete stranger now.
“You should have told me.” His eyes bored into her, stirring up dissonance about the decision she’d made. “At least you had a way to contact me.”
Yes. And he hadn’t known how to find her. Not without her aunt’s cooperation, which he never would have gotten.
“You may not remember this,” she said, her gaze meeting his. “But one day, I heard a rumor about one of the girls you’d dated.”
Leilani hadn’t been the only teenage girl who found Luke appealing. He’d had a legion of others wanting to go out with him, many of whom had been eager to give themselves to him. And, according to rumor, several had.
“What about her?” he asked.
“Her name was Connie, and she was pregnant. Some of the girls in health class said the baby was yours. When I asked you if it was true, you said no.”
“I was always careful.”
The fact that he hadn’t been careful enough on at least one occasion hovered over them, but neither commented.
“Do you remember what else you told me?” she asked, fingering the rolled edge of the napkin in front of her.
“No.”
“You said, ‘No way. I don’t want kids and would never let that happen.’”
His eyes, green and calculating, locked in on her. “What’s your point?”
“I had every reason to believe you wouldn’t have wanted Danny.”
“You’re right. I didn’t want kids back then. My home life was the pits, and I didn’t harbor any delusions of a better future. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have stepped up to the plate. Nor does it mean I don’t want to be a part of Danny’s life—now that I know he exists.”
“I can understand that.” Her decision had been based upon the knowledge at hand. She’d also been struggling with grief at the time, but she didn’t want to broach that subject or the fact that she still blamed Luke for her little brother’s death—a loss that still haunted her.
Kami would be twenty-six now, out of college and pursuing a career. Maybe he’d even be married.
Instead, thanks to Luke’s recklessness, he was buried on the island of Lanai. And grief still dogged her when she thought about him in that satin-lined casket, his bright-eyed smile gone forever.
Kami had also been her lone connection to her parents, and when he died it was like losing them all over again.
“I wish you would have trusted me to do right by you,” Luke said.
“I was young. Remember?” And she’d also been naive. Raised by conservative grandparents, Leilani had been sheltered and protected until she’d turned seventeen and was sent to San Diego to live with Aunt Addie and finish her senior year.
Talk about culture shock.
She’d done her best to focus on her schoolwork, something that had always been a priority. And she’d managed to maintain a 4.0 grade point average, even though the neighborhood boys were fascinated by her and often found innovative ways in which to interfere with her studies. For the most part, she’d ignored them all—until Luke caught her eye and turned her heart inside out.
“You loved me once,” he said. “At least you said you did.”
She had loved him. But, looking back, she suspected she’d also been enamored by his dark and dangerous edge. Leilani, a good girl in the classic sense, had been drawn to the known troublemaker, giving real credence to the “opposites attract” philosophy.
He’d also been a whiz in science and math and had been able to tutor her in chemistry. And one thing led to another.
In the distance, a seagull cried. She’d always considered it a sad and lonely sound, but found it even more so today.
“I did love you,” she finally admitted.
He reached a hand across the table, placing it over top of hers, stilling the movements of her fingers as they tore at the napkin.
The warmth of his touch shot a shiver of heat through her blood, and the intensity in his gaze sent her heart skittering through her chest.
It was impossible to deny that she was still attracted to him. And in spite of all the choices she’d made in the past and her efforts to distance herself from him emotionally, there remained a connection—their son, a little boy who thought his father was dead and believed his mother valued honesty above all else.
“You need to tell him the truth,” Luke said. “I want to be a part of his life.”
She’d been afraid of that. “It’s a little more complicated than that.”
“Then uncomplicate it.”
“It’s not that easy.”
After Kami’s funeral, Leilani had remained in the islands until it was time to fly to Los Angeles and begin college. But just days before she was to leave, she learned she was going to have Luke’s baby.
The hardest thing she’d ever had to do was to tell her grandparents that she was unwed and pregnant, that she’d failed