One by one, she squared the pages into a neat pile. Tears welled for her losses, but anger burned even brighter. She didn’t even know her husband’s real name, and that was the cruelest lie of all.
Propped against a pillow in Ethan Trent’s bed, she wondered what had possessed her to marry a man she had known for just a few months, except she knew the answer. She’d been alone, had a thirst for adventure and was curious about a man’s company. She wanted to hate Hank for what he’d done, but the choice to marry him had been hers.
Right or wrong, she had to live with her decision. She would go to the sheriff as soon as she could ride and tell him the truth. Somewhere in this world, the real Mrs. Dawson was grieving for her husband. And somewhere in New Mexico a man named Timonius LeFarge was looking for his money, which meant he would be looking for her.
The steady pounding of a hammer broke through her thoughts. Warning the rancher about LeFarge was the right thing to do, but she hesitated. If he wouldn’t let her ride to Midas alone, what would he do if he found out she was being pursued by an outlaw? She didn’t want to find out. LeFarge was her problem, and she’d solve it herself.
Fresh anger welled as she thought about her five short days with her husband. He should have come clean with the law. If he’d given her a choice, she would have stood by him. Instead he had trespassed on her future without so much as a please or a thank-you. Nothing killed love faster than lies.
Tugging at the bedsheet, Jayne thought of the rancher sleeping on the hard floor while she slept in his bed. She’d stolen a piece of his life just as surely as Hank had stolen her future. Rolling onto her side, she vowed to leave just as soon as she could ride.
Chapter Four
E than took Mrs. Dawson’s cloak off the nail, saw a bit of straw on the sleeve and gave the garment a good shake. Her letter fell out of the pocket and landed next to his boot. He wasn’t a snoop by nature, but with the widow taking care of private matters outside, he was sorely tempted to read it.
Almost every night she had slipped it out from her pillow as soon as she thought he was asleep. With the hard floor digging into his shoulder blades, he would watch her eyes glitter in the firelight. He envied her those final words from her husband. Laura’s last words to him had been so ordinary he couldn’t remember them.
Ethan studied Dawson’s thin writing and the ugliness of the words “In the event of my death.” He hated the need for such a letter, but he respected the man for writing it. Not once had Ethan written a letter to his wife. They’d grown up together and there had been no need. Now he wished he’d given her that small pleasure.
He didn’t know if it was nosiness or thoughts of Laura that made him open the envelope. Being careful of the dog-eared flap, he took out the sheets. Curiosity got the better of him and he started to read.
I lied…stole…Timonius LeFarge…second chances… Love, Hank.
The punk fool didn’t know a damn thing about love. He’d left his wife in the middle of nowhere without a friend or an honest dollar to her name. He didn’t deserve the widow’s tears or the devotion that drove her to see him buried. If Dawson had walked through the door at that moment, Ethan would have bloodied his nose on general principle.
He didn’t want to look too closely at those feelings. Over a month had passed since she had come to his ranch, and yesterday she had marched to the barn and back without coughing once.
“I’m well enough to leave,” she had announced at supper last night.
They had taken to sitting together at the tiny table, eating in silence. Ethan had just scraped the last bite off his plate. “I can see that. Where will you go?”
“Home to Kentucky.”
“Do you have family there?”
“No, but I’ll be fine.”
He believed her. If the widow could put up with him, she could put up with anything. Yesterday she’d scrubbed the floor and he’d tracked in mud. She tossed him a rag and told him to wipe it up. The mud had stared at him for a good hour before he wiped up the mess and told her to mind her own damn business.
There wasn’t much of a chance of that, though. For one thing, she’d helped herself to his books, reading everything from his dime novels to Laura’s volumes of poetry to the Bible verses their sons had circled for Sunday school. A few times he had glanced up and caught her staring at him. He stared back, daring her to ask him what had happened to his family, which she did but only with her eyes.
Ethan put the letter back in her pocket. She insisted she was well enough to travel, but he wasn’t so sure. Twice he’d heard her retching in the garden, and in spite of long afternoon naps, she looked exhausted.
Reminding himself that he wanted her to leave, he walked to the barn, hitched up the workhorse and tied the livery mare to the back of the wagon. As he led the horses through the yard, he looked at the privy. The door was ajar, and he didn’t hear her in the cabin. Where the hell was she? “Mrs. Dawson?”
“Just a minute.” Her reedy voice had come from the garden.
Irritated, Ethan strode around the corner of the cabin just in time to see Mrs. Dawson toss up her breakfast.
It was a familiar sight to a man who had fathered three children, and his heart squeezed at the realization that the widow was expecting a baby. Memories of Laura carrying their first child washed over him. It had been a glorious time. It should have been a wonderful time for the widow, but knowing what she had ahead of her, Ethan couldn’t swallow.
She was standing in the shade with one hand braced on the cabin wall and the other holding her abdomen. “Please don’t watch me, Mr. Trent.”
Nodding, he went to the water pump, filled the bucket and brought it to her with a ladle. She rinsed her mouth and grimaced as she spat on the ground. “Is the wagon ready?” she asked.
“It’s ready, but you’re not.”
“I’m fine. The bacon didn’t agree with me, that’s all.”
Her eyes glazed at the thought of the grease and Ethan almost smiled. “I think it’s more than that.”
She shook her head. “It can’t be. I have to leave.”
He knew she felt both guilty for taking advantage of him and fearful of LeFarge. He wanted to tell her he understood, but he didn’t want her to know that he had read her letter. “Look, I know I’ve been a little—”
“It’s not that. I have to get settled, that’s all.”
Lifting her skirt, she stepped over a patch of mud and rounded the corner of the cabin. Ethan was two steps behind her when she suddenly swayed on her feet. Grabbing the wall for support, she leaned against the logs and slid to the ground. “I’ve never been this nauseous in my life,” she said.
The sight of her took him back to the day of the storm. His breath caught in his chest and he knew that he couldn’t let her leave. Dropping to a crouch, he touched her shoulder. “Looks like I’m stuck with you.”
“But I need to go home.”
He gave her the hardest look he knew how to give a woman. “What you need is rest.”
“There’s nothing wrong with me. It’s just that—”
“You’re going to have a baby.”
The joy in her eyes was mixed with sadness, making her seem older than her years. Understanding flashed across her face, as well, and Ethan felt cold and exposed.
“It seems you know about these things,” she said.
“I do.” His gaze held hers. Was that relief he saw in her eyes, or fear?