‘Good.’
Their stilted conversation came to an abrupt end and she fiddled with the stitching on her bag, eager to escape Jed’s intimidating presence but unsure how to extract herself gracefully.
He was here and he was here to help. She needed to remember that, no matter how uncomfortable he made her feel.
‘I’m heading home,’ she said, trying not to squirm under his intense stare. Why was he looking at her like that, as if sizing her up?
‘Aren’t you staying?’
She heard the censure in his voice, the silent accusation that what sort of a mother was she to leave her sick child alone in hospital?
Hating her compulsion to justify herself to him, she said, ‘I hate leaving Toby but sleeping on a fold-up bed next to his bed wouldn’t help either of us. He’s a bright boy; he knows he’s unwell but not the severity of it. If I start staying over, he’ll know something is dreadfully wrong and I don’t want that. He needs to stay positive and I need to stay alert for the both of us.’
‘I see.’ By the thinness of his compressed lips, he didn’t. ‘What time will you be back in the morning? I’d like to meet our son.’
Our son.
Why did the sound of Jed’s deep voice saying those two simple words have such a devastating effect on her?
Maybe because she’d always thought of Toby as hers.
Maybe because there hadn’t been ‘our’ anything between them for so long.
Or maybe she was so darned scared of what letting Jed into their lives could do.
She needed calm right now, not havoc, and though Jed’s presence here was important for medical reasons she could do without the emotional complication.
‘I have to speak to Marsha, the manager at the shop, first thing in the morning but I should be here about ten.’
He didn’t look happy. So what was new? He hadn’t stopped giving her dirty looks since she’d told him about Toby, his anger a palpable entity that radiated off him in nasty waves and all directed at her.
‘Look, I know this has to be tough on you but you’re here now and waiting another twelve hours isn’t going to make a difference.’ She laid a tentative hand on his sleeve, once again annoyed at the little sizzle of heat that arced between them.
This couldn’t be happening. It shouldn’t be happening, not with Toby lying in there, fighting for life.
Dropping her hand quickly, she was unprepared for his light touch under her chin as he raised her face to look into his.
‘Stop trying to tell me how I’m thinking or feeling. You don’t know how tough this is on me. In fact, you don’t know anything about me any more. So just drop it, OK?’
The pain in his eyes ripped into her and she blinked in an effort to shield herself from it. For a guy she’d assumed would make lousy father material, he sure was more emotionally connected than she’d given him credit for.
‘I’m sorry.’ Her whisper hung in the awkward silence between them, till the faint beeping of a patient’s monitor disrupted the unnatural quiet in the corridor.
‘Sorry for what? Sorry for lying to me all these years? Or sorry you’re going to have to let me into Toby’s life now?’
‘That’s unfair.’ She averted her gaze quickly but his grip on her chin tightened, forcing her to look at him.
‘Is it? Rather rich, seeing as I’m the one who should be crying unfair right about now.’
‘Why are you doing this? Punishing me isn’t going to help Toby. I thought we sorted the problems between you and me back at the shop.’
For a long, interminable second he stared into her eyes and the pain shifted, replaced by another emotion she couldn’t define or didn’t want to, as his gaze lowered to her lips for a moment before returning to lock on to hers.
Her heart tripped as his grip on her chin softened and he leaned towards her an infinitesimal inch, a subtle heat smouldering in his golden eyes.
No way. That banked heat had to be anger, disgust, anything other than need, surely?
And to make matters worse, her pulse raced at the thought.
‘You don’t know the meaning of punishment,’ he said, his soft, minty breath fanning her face way too close before he dropped his hand and stepped away, running a hand through his hair and adding to the dishevelled air he’d had about him since the testing.
The test! She’d been so caught up in the awkwardness between them, she hadn’t even asked how it had gone. As for his cryptic comment, she assumed he was referring to her not telling him about Toby and she chose to ignore it, too tired to fight any more.
‘How did the testing go?’
He grimaced and showed her the back of his hand, where a faint purplish bruise was already taking shape. ‘I hate needles for a reason. Damn medicos can never find a vein in my elbow crease so they always go for the back of my hand and it hurts like hell.’
‘Poor baby,’ she crooned, surprised by her urge to tease and even more surprised by her smile. That was twice in one evening he’d made her smile when she hadn’t felt like it in days.
In a way, having Jed around could be a good thing and not just as a potential donor for Toby. If she was completely honest with herself, she liked having a male around who didn’t depend on her totally, who could pick up the slack or who could just be there if she needed him. Not that she could count on Jed. She’d learned that the hard way.
‘Guess a kiss to make it better is out of the question?’ He held out his hand, staring at it in mock dismay as if the tiny bruise had developed into a giant haematoma.
Her lips twitched at the startling similarity between father and son, Toby pulling this same trick last month when he’d jammed his finger in the fridge door—while pilfering a vanilla slice she’d said no to!
‘Maybe not.’
Jed’s eyes were riveted to hers in wide-eyed shock as she kissed her fingertips and casually tapped them on the back of his hand. ‘There, all better.’
Shaking his head, he thrust the all-better hand into his trouser pocket, glaring at her with irritation. ‘You still confuse the hell out of me.’
Her smile faded as reality intruded.
The way she saw it, there had been no confusion in their happy relationship. Until she’d introduced the topic of forever and he’d started playing hide and seek, that was. Then there had been confusion and plenty of it, unfortunately all on her part.
‘I have to go.’
Her sharp response shattered the last of any lingering camaraderie that she’d falsely created with her teasing. What had she been thinking anyway? Getting along with Jed for the sake of Toby was one thing, getting too familiar another.
It was his fault with that unexpected look he’d given her, the one which screamed ‘I still think you’re hot’. Or was it hers, a spot of wishful thinking tainting her reactions to the one man who had once rocked her world?
Either way, she needed to get out of here. Away from Jed, away from his all-seeing eyes, away from the temptation of staying by his side just because it felt so darn good to share her problems with someone else.
‘I’ll give you a lift,’ he said, fishing his keys out of his pocket and standing back to let her lead the way.
‘No!’ she practically shouted before lowering her voice with effort as he raised an eyebrow. ‘I’ll take a taxi and you head back to your hotel. You must be exhausted after