He’d explained that it was just business, that he and Meghan were just friends and she’d said she understood, but obviously she hadn’t. Just like he still wasn’t sure he understood why she’d left.
She wasn’t telling him everything. Eventually he’d get the answers he wanted, but right now he was concentrating on getting his son.
“I told you then my parents set it up,” he continued. “I had to wait until after the merger to get out of it, but I did get out of it. I didn’t marry Meghan. I couldn’t, you see. I was in love with someone else, and back then I hadn’t given up hope she’d come back to me.”
She stopped a moment, staring at him, some emotion on her face that he couldn’t quite identify.
“But she never did,” he finished.
Finally she said, “What do you want me to do? Just introduce you to him, and say, ‘Aaron, by the way, this is your father and he wants to spend time with you, so you’ll be bouncing from the only home you’ve ever known over to his place and then back again.”’
“I don’t want to upset him, I want what’s best for him, and I think I’m best. I am going to be part of his life. I spent the night thinking of options. I’m suggesting something better than joint custody.”
“Such as?” she asked.
“Marry me.”
Marry me.
When Louisa had discovered she was pregnant she’d dreamed he would say those words.
Marry me.
It’s what they’d always talked about. She’d always dreamed that she would one day marry Joe Delacamp, no matter that she was just a Clancy. Just the dirt-poor, town drunk’s daughter.
Then he’d gotten engaged to Meghan Whitford. A girl from his social circle. A girl he’d always claimed was just a friend.
He’d said his parents had set it up.
She’d told him to just break it off, but he’d claimed he couldn’t. There was a business deal in the works and publicly breaking off with Meghan could ruin the deal.
Louisa didn’t understand people who would use something as sacred as marriage—or even just an engagement—to forge a business merger.
Joe had asked her to give him time.
Time was something Louisa hadn’t had. She’d been two months pregnant with a child—the child of a man who’d always claimed he’d never be a father.
Still, despite his pseudo-engagement, she’d planned to tell him. To let him decide what he wanted to do.
And then his mother had come to her, and that one visit had changed everything….
Louisa pulled herself back from the past.
It was history.
Ancient history.
She couldn’t alter what she’d done. At the time she’d thought she’d done what was best for everyone.
Now?
Listening to him talk about the son he’d never known, she wasn’t sure.
“Marry me,” he repeated.
“Marry you?” She laughed then, shocked at the bitterness she heard in her own voice. “You’ve got to be insane to think I’d marry you.”
“You’ve got to be even more insane if you think I’m sharing custody of Aaron. I want it all. Every day. I want to be there when he gets home from school, when he goes to bed, when he gets up the next morning and has breakfast. I want to be there when he brings home his report cards. I want to hear how school went. I want to see him play—does he play sports?”
“Soccer and football,” she answered.
There was a yearning in his expression. “Then I want to go to every game. I missed seven years and I don’t want to miss another moment. The way I see it I have two options. I could sue for sole custody, or I can become a part of your family. Taking Aaron away from the only home and parent he’s ever known is cruel. That leaves becoming part of your family. I don’t think us living together—even if we’re not together in a physical sense—sets a good example. That leaves marriage.”
“And what if I have a significant other?” she asked.
“You’d have to break it off, of course.” He paused and asked, “Do you?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“No, I guess it’s not.” Abruptly he asked, “How could you just leave me like that?”
His voice was barely more than a whisper. “I explained about the engagement. I thought you understood. And then you were just gone. I decided you were too young. After all, I was three years older than you. I figured you’d had second thoughts and were just too young, too confused to tell me, so you’d just left. But that’s not why. You left to have my son in secret. Why? Did you think I’d be like my parents, trying to control him and squeeze the life out of him, inch by inch?”
“You said you never wanted children.”
“Did you think I’d abandon you and our baby?”
She could tell him about his mother’s visit. She could tell him that it had been easier to just leave than risk having him agree with his parents, having him think she’d tried to trap him.
Of all the things his mother could have said, that was the one that cut to the quick.
Louisa had believed what the town said, that she was just “that Clancy girl,” a girl from the wrong side of the tracks.
She’d believed that people would agree with Joe’s mother, that she’d tried to trap him.
She’d believed that his parents would cut him off without a dime, force him to quit school to support her and the baby, and steal his dream of being a doctor.
Maybe they could have found another way…could have dealt with all that. What others thought of her had long ago ceased to matter. But a part of her had felt that eventually Joe would believe all that as well. That he’d think she’d trapped him and stolen his dreams.
That, she couldn’t live with.
What had she done?
She’d been so hurt, felt so betrayed, been so afraid that she’d simply left. In her heart she’d never understood how Joe could love her.
How could she have doubted him?
Looking at the pain in his face right now, she knew that he’d never have abandoned their son.
“Louisa?” Joe said. “You look like you’re going to faint. Sit down before you fall down.”
He led her to a chair behind the counter and helped lower her into it.
His voice was gentle, a whisper of the Joe she used to know. “Here, tuck your head between your knees and breathe deep.”
She’d let her own fears and doubts rob the man she loved of knowing his son.
Slowly she sat up and fought back the tears that threatened to fall.
She should tell him. Should tell him everything that happened.
She wanted to.
She’d believed his mother and doubted Joe. She’d taken the check his mother had offered to secure her son’s future and left, thinking that breaking her own heart was easier than waiting for Joe to break it for her.
She hadn’t trusted him enough…or trusted in their love.
No other explanation was needed.
She’d trust him now.
It was too late for their