Scott spoke as if the intense moment in the elevator had never occurred. Had having her back in his life affected him at all? Perhaps it hadn’t.
“I think I’ll just have a BLT and a cup of hot tea,” Hannah said.
“I’m going for the chicken. Find us a table. Tell Lucy at the register that I’ll pay for yours when I come through.”
“I won’t let you do that,” she said as she stepped toward the grill line. “This isn’t a date.”
He held up his hand and grinned. “Okay, okay.”
His boyish smile made her feel like she was sitting in the sun on a spring day, pure bliss. Her heart fluttered. He still had that devastating effect on her.
Don’t stare. Think.
Hannah forced herself to turn around and go to the sandwich line. The mundane business of selecting a sandwich and the physical distance from Scott helped to settle her nerves. She’d moved into the register line when Scott came up behind her. Bending down, he said, “I’m getting yours.”
He was too close. She was too conscious of him. He paid before she could form a protest.
Outside the high arched windows a slow, steady rain began to fall. The water on the concrete walk shimmered in the glow from the security light. The weather reflected her life. Dark, with hints of brightness.
Moving toward the dining area, she selected a table in the center of the room, if only to put a physical object between them as a way to regain her equilibrium. Scott glanced at an available booth and shrugged. His mouth lifted into the beginning of a grin before he took the chair opposite hers.
Hannah concentrated on keeping the bacon between the pieces of toast while Scott ate his fried chicken. It amazed her that after the heated moments earlier they could still manage a comfortable silence between them.
They’d slipped back into that easy place they’d enjoyed when he’d been in medical school.
Cleaning his plate, Scott sat back with a sigh, giving her a quizzical look. “Feel better now you’ve had some food?”
Her heart skipped a beat. He’d caught her staring. “Yes, much. But I do insist on paying for my meal.”
“I owed you for coffee. Anyway, can’t two old friends eat together without fighting over the bill?”
“We’re just acquaintances.” She fiddled with her glass a second before pinning him with a look. “True friends don’t leave without saying a word.”
His lips formed a tight line before he said, “Hannah, I realize you’re still angry with me and I don’t blame you.”
She opened her mouth to speak.
“No, please hear me out. I know you don’t want to go into the past. I appreciate that. You’re having a rough time and I’d like to help if you’ll let me.” He laid a hand over hers, blanketing it.
Her heart thumped faster. She didn’t know how to force her body to be sensible where Scott was concerned.
It would be nice to have someone to lean on. It was tempting to accept his offer, for at least a little while, until she could right her world long enough to think straight. But could Scott be that person, with their past looming between them?
And he was Jake’s doctor.
“I guess we can try.” They’d been friends before, maybe they could be again. She was just too exhausted in spirit and mind to argue. “But you’ll have to earn my friendship and that will be all there is between us. Friendship.” She tugged her hand from beneath his.
The stiffness in his body eased and, with a gentle smile, he said, “I understand.”
With one finger, Hannah circled the salt shaker sitting in the middle of the table. She rolled it from side to side. The base of the glass knocked against the wood.
Scott took the shaker, setting it aside. “I wish I could make the situation with Jake easier for you.”
“I appreciate that.” She gave him a weary smile. “I hate not being able to help care for him. I am his mother and a nurse.”
Scott opened his mouth to speak, but she forestalled him.
“I know. Protocol. I understand it, but don’t like it.”
He laughed softly. “And I understand where you’re coming from. I know that right now it seems like all you’re doing is sitting around, watching and waiting, but once Jake goes to the floor I promise you there’ll be plenty to do. Plenty to learn.”
“I hope I don’t sound too whiny. I’ve been Jake’s sole parent for so long it’s hard to relinquish control. I understand why I’m not allowed to do more but that doesn’t mean my heart accepts it.”
He nodded. “So, do you plan to return to the same position when Jake recovers, or do you want to work elsewhere? Maybe a satellite clinic?”
Hannah leaned back against the chair, pulling her lower lip between her teeth. “I hadn’t thought about doing that. Working at a clinic isn’t a bad idea. The hours are better, and it may be easier to arrange care for Jake if I did.” She sat up again, crossing her arms and leaned on the table. “Have I satisfied all your questions?”
“No, but I’ll save some for another time.” Downing the rest of his drink, he asked, “Are you ready to go? I’ve an early morning and you’ve had a hard day. We both need to get to bed.”
At her surprised look he realized what he’d said. “I’m sorry, that didn’t come out right.”
She laughed. “I knew what you meant. Scott, I’m not holding a grudge against you. I got over what happened between us a long time ago. That’s water down the river.”
His blue gaze bored into hers and he said softly, “I wish that wasn’t true.”
Hannah swallowed. Her words weren’t completely honest but she didn’t want him to know that. Truthfully, their night still hung between them, but now wasn’t the time to get into it.
As they left their trays on the cleaning rack Hannah said, “Thank you for the meal. It hit the spot.” She looked up at him. “Even with the questions.”
“You’re welcome. I’d like to make one more start toward earning your friendship by seeing that you get home safely. I’ll get someone to take you home. You don’t need to be driving, but I’m on call and can’t leave.”
“There’s no need.”
“You’re worn out. You need to go home.” “I’m staying here.”
Scott leaned forward. She could see the lines around his eyes, indicating he’d smiled a lot through the years. Probably at all the women he’d seduced. She’d do well to remember that.
“Hannah,” he said earnestly, “you need to rest, which you won’t do here. Wouldn’t you like to sleep in your own bed? Pick up some clean clothes? Take a hot shower?”
He’d known what would get to her. A shower sounded heavenly.
After sighing deeply, she said, “I’ll go. For tonight.” “I know you’d like to see Jake one more time before you leave. I’ll call up and let Jake’s nurse know you’re coming.
While you’re gone I’ll arrange your transportation and meet you in the lobby.”
Hannah made her way through the maze of corridors back to CICU. At a set of automatic doors she spoke into the monitor on the wall and requested entrance into the unit. She’d never been more acutely aware of hospital rules. It was her son in there, and she had to ask permission to see him. As a nurse, she’d never realized how much control she’d had over a patient’s life.
At