NATALIE HELD OPEN Patrick’s door for Spencer Sorrell, chief of the Doctors Circle Well-Baby Clinic. Unlike the pediatric clinic that had vacated its offices downstairs and relocated to a new building down the street, his department was an official arm of the medical center, not merely a tenant.
He’d been grousing a lot lately, mostly about his contention that his department should get the newly remodeled offices. Spencer, who believed he should have become administrator, instead of Patrick, always found something to complain about.
He brushed by Natalie without a word, which didn’t surprise her. The senior pediatrician rarely spoke to her, and when he did, it was in a clipped, impersonal manner, as if she were a robot.
Spencer’s brother, Finn, was the town’s chief of police. Finn knew way too much about Natalie’s family and her past, and it appeared that he’d shared that information with Spencer.
Her cheeks burning, she sat behind her desk. She was angry at Spencer for his snobbery and angry at herself for caring.
Natalie knew better than anyone what an insignificant position she occupied in the social whirl of Serene Beach. That didn’t mean she lacked pride, only that she saw the world as it was.
Well, she didn’t aspire to high society, and she didn’t feel inferior to anyone, either. She only wished she could erase a few parts of her past.
In particular, she wished she hadn’t lied on her job application.
A MONTH LATER, on a Saturday morning, Natalie did something she hadn’t done since she was a little girl. She threw up.
Aware that her period was overdue, she drove to a pharmacy for a pregnancy kit. At home she followed the directions, and a few minutes later found herself staring in disbelief at the pink test strip.
How was this possible? Patrick had used protection both times during their lovemaking.
Yet she knew from working around pregnant women that condoms weren’t infallible. Sometimes they slipped or cracked. That must be what had happened, because she hadn’t slept with another man since her divorce.
A sense of wonder softened Natalie’s dismay. She was carrying Patrick’s child, a wonderful little boy or girl who’d be smart and sweet and loving.
Then she caught sight of herself in the bathroom mirror. She looked almost exactly like a photo of her own mother as a young woman.
“You’re me all over again,” her mother used to say. But, as a teenager, Natalie had resolved that she would never, never repeat Angie’s mistakes. Three deadbeat husbands, five children and an inability to keep a job had created a chaotic household and made Angie’s kids outsiders at school.
Even when Natalie married an older man at the age of twenty-one, she’d been careful not to get pregnant right away. Her caution had been validated when, over the next three years, her husband, Ralph, began drinking, lost his job and ran up debts. He’d vanished, leaving his wife to pay them off.
She’d been working for a temp agency when she learned about the secretarial opening at Doctors Circle. Patrick’s predecessor, Dr. Grier, had been tyrannical and grumpy, so there’d been frequent turnover in the position.
Knowing she had the right skills, Natalie had sailed into the interview with high hopes. It went well, too. She knew as soon as she met Dr. Grier—nicknamed Dr. Grief by the staff—that she could handle his moods.
Only when she began filling in the application did she discover that she didn’t qualify on purely technical grounds. It seemed unfair and she desperately needed the salary and benefits. So she’d lied, and not just about one thing, either.
She still believed she’d made a wise choice. It was impossible to imagine her life without this job, without the staff at Doctors Circle who’d become like a family, and without Patrick.
Yet she was ashamed, too. Well, the heck with that! Natalie thought in a surge of defiance. Let other people walk a mile in her shoes before they passed judgment.
Restlessly she wandered into her living room, which was dominated by rabbits. There were china rabbits, stuffed rabbits, crocheted rabbits, plastic rabbits and even one rabbit said to be carved out of moon rock, although she doubted it. They crowded the shelves and several end tables.
Her collection had begun at the age of ten when her father gave her his one and only gift: a stuffed rabbit he’d won at a carnival ring toss. Two months later he’d disappeared from her life. Although she’d long ago outgrown her childish belief that the gift proved he loved her, images of rabbits still boosted her spirits.
She desperately needed a boost now. How would Patrick react to the news that he was going to be a father? Would his dark eyes glimmer with anticipation, or would he simply be shocked?
With his strong sense of honor, he’d probably feel obligated to marry her. Maybe, she hoped, he might even be glad for the excuse. But she had too much pride to marry Patrick without admitting what she’d done, and she knew what that would mean.
A few months ago he’d fired a lab technician for lying about his qualifications. He wouldn’t tolerate deception, he’d said. Despite their close relationship, what were the odds he’d give Natalie a break?
If she leveled with him, she’d destroy everything: Patrick’s trust, their future together, maybe even her ability to work for him.
She needed advice. The person to consult, she decided, was her friend Amy Ravenna, a patient counselor at Doctors Circle. Amy had good common sense and, at thirty-three, four more years of experience in life than Natalie did.
Picking up the phone, she dialed Amy’s number. With luck, her friend’s advice would prevent her from making some stupid mistake that might ruin everything.
Chapter Two
“Are those flowers for me?” Patrick’s sister paused in the high-ceilinged foyer to sniff the elaborate arrangement. Her sweatpants and T-shirt were damp where they covered her swimsuit. “I don’t suppose so, since you didn’t know I was coming over.”
Patrick finished knotting his tie in front of the hall mirror. “I’m afraid they aren’t, but I knew you’d be here. You use the pool every Saturday.”
“How’d you figure that out?” Bernie squawked. “Usually I swim and leave without bothering you. I figured you didn’t know I was here.”
“I can see the pool from my bedroom,” Patrick reminded her. “Sis, I enjoy having you over, and the house is yours as much as mine.”
“You bought out my half, remember?” She pushed back a curly strand of brown hair. “Honestly, I’m all grown up and married now. Mike and I have our own house. I just like to borrow the pool.”
“Anytime.” He meant it. Having grown up in the shadow of their older sister’s stillbirth, Patrick had treasured the strong-willed baby who came along when he was four. There’d been times during his teens when he was embarrassed to be seen with his kid sis, but the two had become close over the years.
They’d comforted each other after their father’s death five years ago, and again after their mother succumbed to cancer three years later. Bernie, a natural mother, liked to bring over casseroles, make sure Patrick kept healthy food in the refrigerator and examine the sprawling Barr mansion to make sure his latest housekeeper was properly cleaning the expanses of glass, tile and blond wood.
“So who’s the lucky lady?” Bernie indicated the flowers again.
“Noreen McLanahan called in sick for today’s luncheon.” The event to honor volunteers, of whom Noreen was one of the most prominent, was scheduled for noon at the Serene Beach Yacht Club. “I figured a widow who lives alone could use some cheering up, so I’m going to visit her and give them to her.”
It wasn’t merely