‘Both of us?’ Her brows lifted. ‘I rather think all the gratitude’s on my side. Because I must also thank the girl who’s having a baby, and created a vacancy for me, however temporary.’
‘This is beginning to sound like an Oscars ceremony,’ he said. ‘In a minute, you’ll be blessing your parents for having you.’
Perhaps, she thought. If I’d ever known them. If they hadn’t left me alone in the world, dependant on strangers.
Aloud, she said, ‘And what’s so wrong about that?’
‘Nothing,’ he said. ‘Except it’s a task you should really leave to me.’
Tarn looked away. She said, ‘If all this is another joke, can we end it here and now, please. I think it’s gone quite far enough.’
‘This is a beginning,’ Caz told her quietly. ‘Not a closing. But I can see I’m going to have to work damned hard to prove to you that I’m serious.’
And with that, the waiters appeared to clear their plates, and produce dessert menus, giving Tarn a much-needed breathing space as she contemplated what to say next. How to react.
Tricky, when all she really wanted to do was empty the remains of that expensive wine over his head, call him a treacherous, unfeeling bastard and storm out.
But that would only provide her with a momentary satisfaction. While he could laugh off his brief humiliation as a lovers’ tiff, and every man in the restaurant would be on his side.
And what she wanted—required—was for him to experience the kind of pain that he’d inflicted on Evie.
And it will happen, she vowed inwardly. I’ll make it happen.
‘Tell me something,’ he said, when the panna cotta with its red berry coulis had been ordered for them both. ‘Is there someone in New York? Someone you plan to go back to?’
‘Why do you ask?’ She drank some more wine.
‘Because I need to know what I’m up against. If it’s just the office hierarchy thing that’s making you so elusive, or if there’s something or someone else.’
Or maybe I’m just trying to demonstrate that you’re not Mr Irresistible, she told him silently. On the other hand, it would be stupid to let you think I’m totally uninterested and alienate you completely. So it’s time to tug on the thread a little.
She met his gaze squarely. ‘There’s no-one,’ she said. ‘Not any more.’
This time it was the whole truth. Howard had reacted badly to the news that she would not be accompanying him to the Keys. And her subsequent explanation had left him not merely unmoved, but getting angrier by the moment.
‘Everything you’ve ever told me about this Evie says she’s a total flake,’ he’d finally thrown at her. ‘You’re crazy to get involved in her problems. I had a lot riding on this trip, Tarn, and you’ve just—blown it out of the water. And why?’ His voice had risen and people at adjoining tables had glanced at them curiously. ‘Because your sister’s boyfriend’s dumped her? Big deal. What about you—dumping on me? And what the hell do I say to Jim and Rosemary?’
He’d finished his drink and left, leaving her to pick up the check. Nor, she thought, could she really blame him.
She’d gauged when he’d be back from the Keys and rung him. It was almost certainly over between them, such as it had been, but, all the same, she didn’t want to part bad friends. However, her call had gone straight to voicemail, and not been returned. So that episode in her life was definitely in the past, and she only wished she could feel more regret. Especially as he was probably the closest she’d ever been to commitment.
But there was no point in thinking like that. One day, when all this was over, she’d find someone. Or maybe they’d find her. Wasn’t that how it was meant to be?
But before that could happen, she had a part to play. Retribution to exact.
Caz said quite gently, ‘I hope the parting wasn’t too painful.’
She shrugged. ‘Not very—especially when compared with other people’s experiences.’ She gave him a half-smile. ‘I think I probably had a lucky escape.’
‘Then I’ll have to make sure that you’ll continue to think so.’
There was a note in his voice which was almost a caress, and Tarn felt her skin shiver again in unwelcome response.
‘And what about you? How have you managed to avoid serious involvement?’ She spoke lightly, but she was stepping on to dangerous ground and she knew it, as her clasped fingers tightened painfully in her lap.
‘It’s never been a deliberate thing,’ he said, after a pause. ‘Until a year or so ago, hauling the company back from the brink occupied most of my time and energy. When the money men finally stopped scowling, I decided I could take life a little more easily. But that was all.
‘Because I never pretended to the girls I dated that I was looking for any kind of permanent relationship. And most of them were looking for fun rather than commitment too, so we generally managed to reach a consensus that suited us both.’
She said, ‘But there must have been some who hoped you would offer more.’
His mouth tightened, and he looked past her, his eyes suddenly remote. ‘If so,’ he said. ‘That would be their problem, not mine.’
And one of those problems is locked away in a private hospital that’s more like a prison, you unutterable bastard…
She said quietly, ‘I shall consider myself warned.’
‘That isn’t what I meant, and you know it.’ His tone was almost fierce. ‘Give me the chance and I’ll prove it to you. And whatever happened in the past is over—for both of us.’
The desserts appeared, and Tarn forced herself to eat the rich, creamy concoction with its sharp fruit counterpart with every sign of appreciation.
So where did the expensive diamond ring he’d given Evie feature in this no-commitment scenario? she asked herself. Or was that how he paid his women for services rendered?
She remembered a story she’d heard when she was a child about a girl finding the man she was to marry was another Bluebeard and exposing his guilt by flinging the severed and bejewelled ring finger of one of his victims on the table in front of him at their betrothal banquet.
If she could find Evie’s ring, she thought, throwing it at him in some public place would make a splendid denouement for the moment when he finally learned the truth about her. When he discovered it was his turn to be deceived and callously dumped.
And now, she thought, steeling herself, it’s time to proceed to the next stage.
So when coffee was offered, she declined, with an anxious glance at her watch.
‘My flatmate will be wondering where I am.’
‘You’re not living at your cousin’s place?’
‘It’s minute,’ she said. ‘My stuff would fill it, and I don’t want her to come home and feel squeezed out, so I’ve moved in temporarily with a friend.’
‘While you look for a place of your own?’ Caz asked as he dealt with the bill.
‘Perhaps. I haven’t decided yet.’ She picked up her bag. ‘However—thank you for a wonderful meal. You’ve been—’ she hesitated ‘—very kind.’
‘And it’s equally kind of you to say so.’ There was a touch of wryness in his tone. ‘My driver will be coming to pick me up in a few minutes. May I add to my good works and offer you a lift?’
‘I think you’ve done enough,’ she said. ‘At least for one evening.’