“I have to,” he said simply.
“You could get killed,” she said.
He nodded. “That could happen. But Martina is all I have in the world, the only person I’ve ever loved. I can’t turn my back on her, not now. I could never call myself a man again.”
What could she say to that? He touched her cheek lightly and left her alone in the room. She watched the door close with a sense of utter disaster. It didn’t help that she was beginning to understand why she trembled so violently at his touch.
J.D. had always disturbed her, from the very first. But she’d assumed that it was because of the kind of man he was. Now, she didn’t know. Just looking at him made her ache. And he’d kissed her…how he’d kissed her! As if he were hungry for her, for her alone.
She shook herself. Probably he just needed a woman and she was handy. He’d said not to get herself involved, and she wasn’t going to. Just because she was all excited at the prospect of being part of a covert operation, that was no reason to go overboard for J.D.
She wondered at the way he’d reacted when she’d asked if he had been one of the group before. Didn’t he remember that he’d told her he’d served in the Special Forces?
It was fifteen minutes before she rejoined the men, wearing jeans and a loose pullover top and boots. J.D. studied her long and hard, his eyes clearly approving the modest gear.
She stared back at him. He seemed like a different man, sitting there in jungle fatigues and holding some small weapon in his big hands.
“The Uzi,” he told her when she approached and stared at the miniature machine gun curiously.
“And what’s that?” she asked, nodding toward a nasty-looking oversize rifle with a long torpedo-like thing on a stick near it.
“An RPG rocket launcher.”
“Is that Gabby?” a short black man asked, grinning at her.
“That’s Gabby.” J.D. chuckled. “Honey, this is Drago, one of the best explosives men this side of nuclear war. And over in the corner, being antisocial, is Apollo. He’s the scrounger. What we need, he gets.”
She nodded toward the corner, where a second black man stood. That one was tall and slender, whereas Drago was chunky.
“Hey, Gabby,” Apollo said without looking up.
“Does everybody know my name?” she burst out, exasperated.
“Afraid so,” First Shirt volunteered, laughing. “Didn’t you know Archer was a blabbermouth?”
She stared at her boss. “Well, I sure do now,” she exclaimed.
“Come here, Gabby, and let me show you how to work the radio,” Laremos offered, starting to rise.
“My job,” J.D. said in a tone of voice that made Laremos sit back down.
“But of course.” Laremos grinned, not offended at all.
Gabby followed the big man out of the room to the communications room, where Laremos had a computer and several radios.
“J.D….” she began.
He closed the door and glared down at her. “He hurt a woman once. Badly. Can you read between the lines, or are you naïve enough that I have to spell it out in words of one syllable?”
She drew in a steadying breath. “I’m sorry, J.D. You’ll just have to make allowances for my stupidity. I’m a small-town Texas girl. Where I come from, men are different.”
“Yes, I know. You aren’t used to this kind of group.”
She looked up. “No. But they seem to be nice people. J.D., it just dawned on me that you must trust me a lot to bring me here,” she murmured.
“There isn’t anyone I trust more,” he said in a deep, rough tone. “Didn’t you know?”
He stared into her eyes until she felt the trembling come back, and something wild darkened his own before he turned away and got it under control.
“We’d better get to it,” he said tautly. “And when we go back out there, for God’s sake, don’t say or do anything to encourage Laremos, you understand? He’s a friend of mine, but I’d kill him in a second if he touched you.”
The violence in him made her eyes widen with shock. He glanced at her, his face hard, and she knew she was seeing the man without the mask for the first time. He looked as ruthless as any one of those men in the other room and she realized with a start that he was.
“I’m territorial,” he said gruffly. “What I have, I hold, and for the duration of this trip, you belong to me. Enough said?”
“Enough said, Jacob,” she replied, her voice unconsciously soft.
His face tautened. “I’d like to hear you say my name in bed, Gabby,” he breathed, moving close. “I’d like to hear you scream it…”
“Jacob!” she gasped as he bent and took her mouth.
She moaned helplessly as he folded her into his tall, powerful form, letting her feel for the first time the involuntary rigidity of his body in desire.
He lifted his lips from hers and looked into her wide eyes, and he nodded. “Yes, it happens to me just as it happens to other men,” he said in a rough tone. “Are you shocked? Haven’t you ever been this close to a hungry man?”
“No, Jacob, I haven’t,” she managed unsteadily.
That seemed to calm him a little, but his eyes were still stormy. He let her move away, just enough to satisfy her modesty.
“Are you frightened?” he asked.
“You’re very strong,” she said, searching his face. “I know you wouldn’t force me, but what if…?”
“I’ve had a lot of practice at curbing my appetites, Gabby,” he murmured. He brushed the hair away from her cheeks. “I won’t lose my head, even with you.
“Let me show you,” he whispered, and she felt his mouth beside hers, touching, moving away, teasing, until she turned her head just a fraction of an inch and opened it to the slow, sweet possession of his lips.
She could barely breathe, and it was heaven as his arms came around her, as his mouth spoke to her in a wild, nonverbal way. The opening of the door was a shattering disappointment.
“Excuse me—” Laremos chuckled “—but you were so long, I thought you might be having trouble.”
“I am,” J.D. said in a voice husky with emotion, “but not the kind you thought.”
“As I see. Here, let me go over the sequence with you and discuss the frequencies—they are different from the ones you are familiar with, no doubt,” he said, sitting down in front of the equipment.
Gabby brushed back her hair and tried not to look at J.D. She tried not to think about the long night ahead, when she’d lie in his arms in that big bed and have to keep from begging him to do what they both wanted.
The radio wasn’t difficult at all. It took only minutes to learn the routine. It was the code words that took longest. She made a list and walked around the house memorizing it while the men talked in the spacious living room. At the dinner table, she was still going over it.
Only Laremos, J.D., and Gabby ate together at the table. The others carried their plates away.
“They’re still antisocial, I see,” J.D. murmured over his food.
“Old habits.” Laremos glanced at Gabby. “And I think they do not want to disillusion this one, who looks at them with such soft eyes.”
“I didn’t embarrass them,