‘Yes.’ She blew her nose. ‘Uncle Thomas warned me what to expect, but I had begun to think that you—’
The ferocity with which he uttered a few choice expletives set Hester back to the moment they had first met. This was the real Lord Lensborough: black hearted and black tempered. She had only imagined he was kind and decent.
A feeling of dread washed over her. Might he be so outraged by her impropriety that he would change his mind about marrying one of her cousins? Might they be tainted in his eyes by their very association with her?
‘You won’t suspend your courtship of my cousins because of this, will you? Neither they, nor my aunt, knew anything about my visits to the tan.’
‘Am I to infer from that remark that your uncle did?’
When she nodded, he said, ‘By God, this beggars belief.’ Hester reeled. ‘How can you be so intolerant?’
‘Intolerant? Who could tolerate being so deceived?’
‘We did not set out to deceive you…particularly. My uncle just did not want anyone to know. Especially not my cousins, or my aunt. He said it would distress them.’
Lord Lensborough made an odd choking noise.
‘So you see, they are entirely innocent. You do believe me, don’t you?’
‘Oh, yes. Unlike you, your cousins are exactly what they appear to be. A blank slate upon which I may write whatever I wish.’
Hester saw red. ‘How just like you to say such a horrid thing. Julia and Phoebe are people with feelings, not blank slates for you to write on.’ She clenched her fists. ‘And for your information, I don’t care how improper you think it is for me to mingle with the raff and scaff of society. I love Lena, and I will never be ashamed of her. If that offends your notion of propriety, then I’m glad. Why would I want an unfeeling, heartless block like you to approve of me?’
He flinched, as though she had struck him. ‘We should not keep the horses standing in the cold,’ he said, and turned down the track.
He was aware of Hester thrashing through the undergrowth behind him, but he couldn’t bear to turn and look at her, not even when he heard a tell-tale sniffle.
How could her uncle permit her access to a lover while she lived under his roof? Or introduce her to his guests as if she were respectable? Did he not care so long as she kept her activities secret from the more innocent females in the family?
All that talk of shyness. He had known from the first it was all humbug. It was guilt that made her awkward around single men. She knew she could never marry a decent man, or encourage one to hope. That was why Sir Thomas had warned him off.
But then why, if he did not want all this to come out, did he not keep her out of sight altogether?
His pace picked up as his mind whirled. The family probably did not have the means to pack her off to some estate deep in the country and forget her. And if her uncle tried to separate her from his other womenfolk, within his house, they would start to ask awkward questions.
So why did she not simply live with her gypsy lover?
That sort of scandal was bound to get out, and his own daughters would be ruined by association.
On the whole, Sir Thomas had followed the only course he could. Ejected the bastard child, and sworn Hester to secrecy to protect the good name of his own daughters.
Though he could never like Lionel Snelgrove, he supposed he had to be grateful that he had forced Hester’s secret into the open. It had saved him from committing the ghastly blunder of proposing to a woman who had given birth to a bastard sired by a filthy gypsy. He didn’t think he would ever have been able to live that down.
Chapter Nine
‘Uncle Thomas, I’ve ruined everything.’ Hester stumbled into the workroom where her uncle was pottering amongst his collection of snuff jars.
‘I very much doubt that, my dear,’ he said, smiling at her. ‘But you are at liberty to confess exactly what mischief you have been up to.’
‘I went to see Lena today. I know you asked me not to, but Julia and Phoebe had gone out riding with Lord Lensborough and his friend, so I thought it would be quite safe. I never thought they would ride in that direction.’
‘Ah.’ Sir Thomas carefully replaced the lid of the jar he’d been inspecting.
‘Of course they saw me. And it was just as you said it would be. Lord Lensborough was really, really angry with me. And just when I was beginning to think he was…’
Shakily, Hester sank on to the chair beside her uncle’s desk.
‘Because you had convinced him of the worth of one sort of charity, he would be sympathetic to other causes?’ He shook his head. ‘Setting up a trust to honour his brother’s memory is a far cry from thinking it acceptable for a well-bred girl to mix freely with vagrants.’
‘Yes, and then Julia said it could not be wrong for her to be there since you permitted me. Of course, if she thinks that, then Lord Lensborough will never marry her.’
She got to her feet and laughed a little hysterically. ‘All I have achieved by persisting in my visits is to dash my cousins’ hopes of a good match.’
‘Hester, do try to calm yourself. We do not know that there will be any repercussions.’
‘But Lord Lensborough said such horrid things, and I lost my temper and called him names.’
To Hester’s surprise, her uncle chuckled. ‘Did you though? I should have liked to have seen that.’
‘No, Uncle, it was dreadful of me.’
‘I hope it may do him good to be called a few names. There are a few names I have been tempted—no, no, let that pass. Did he give you any reason—now think carefully, my dear—any reason at all to justify your wild fears that your deeds have given him an adverse opinion of my girls?’
‘No. No, he referred to them as a clean slate.’
‘There, you see. It might all blow over. Although, to be frank, I must confess I don’t really care if the match with Lord Lensborough goes ahead or not. I just want my girls to be happy. If he is as harsh as you seem to think, then perhaps he is not the man for them.’ He turned, frowning. ‘Hester, would you do something for me? I know that I have forbidden you to speak to anyone of Lena’s true identity. I foolishly hoped we could keep her very existence a secret. But perhaps it might be for the best if Lord Lensborough knew the whole.’
‘Everything?’
‘Yes. If you tell him how ill you were at the time, how seeing your brother’s baby brought the spark back to your eyes…’ his own eyes softened with tenderness ‘…perhaps then he may condone my granting you limited access to your niece, illegitimate though she is. If you tell him I hadn’t the heart to ban all contact from all you seemed to have left of your brother—’
‘It wasn’t like that,’ she flared. ‘I wanted to right the wrong he’d done. I had thought my brother was a good person, but he used that woman, then abandoned her and the child!’
Sir Thomas held up his hands in a placating gesture. ‘He didn’t really abandon Lena, though, did he? He died before he even knew of her existence, I dare say.’
‘That doesn’t make it any less dreadful.’
‘No, no.’ He sighed. ‘What a mess that young scamp left behind.’ He shook his head ruefully. ‘I know it will be painful for you to speak of it, but…’
‘Of course I will tell him, if that is what you want. I would never forgive myself if some action of mine caused any of you grief.’ Hester hung her head. ‘Do you think it would