Cold Feet at Christmas. Debbie Johnson

Doug I fell for – it was the idea of Doug, and everything he could offer me. A home, a family, our business, all binding me to another human being. Being part of something, not being alone any more. It wasn’t fair to either of us. And now, after what happened, I wonder if he knew that too, deep down. I’m glad I found out before it was too late. It was an awful way to get a wake-up call, but maybe I needed one. It was the best thing for both of us. I need a fresh start. I need a new life. I need—”

      “Leah,” he said, sitting next to her and holding her wet hand in his. “Stop. I have to tell you, before you go on, that I’m not the man to give you what you need. Despite what just happened. Please don’t ask it of me. I’m not capable. I’m broken. Parts of me don’t work any more, and I don’t think anyone can fix them. I like you, Leah. And, well, wow to the sex part. But more than that? I don’t have it in me to give, and I don’t want to lie to you. Not now, when you’re hurting so bad; not ever. You deserve better than Doug. And you damn well deserve better than me.”

      Leah squeezed his hand, gazed up at him from tear-wet lashes. Oh, she thought, he was so completely beautiful. As beautiful as a man could ever be. She lifted her hand, traced the hard outline of his jaw, and smiled. He might not be God, but he was definitely a gift from Him. A Christmas gift to give her hope, and friendship, and possibly multiple orgasms.

      Tomorrow, or the next day, or the one after that, she knew she had to face her new reality. But right here, this was all she needed: the perfect distraction, and a salve for her pain. It wouldn’t last, but then again, what did? Life, she had to accept, was a fragile beast: you could do your best to control it, but it was a wild thing, with a will of its own. There was no security, no certainty. People died. People betrayed you. So for now at least, she’d live in the moment.

      “You don’t know what I was going to say, Rob. And don’t worry, one quick fumble in the kitchen doesn’t mean I’ve fallen for you. But thank you, for your kindness, and your honesty. I don’t expect anything of you, Rob. We don’t even really know each other, and I certainly don’t think you’re my knight in shining armour. But we landed here, together, at this time, and well…call me an old hippy, but I think it was fate. That right here, right now, we can help each other. I don’t need a boyfriend. Or a husband. Or a family – I need to learn to be me, without anybody else. Does that make sense?”

      Rob nodded, gesturing for her to go on. He wanted to hear what she said – with Leah, he’d already learned to expect the unexpected.

      “And as for parts of you not working,” she said, “ well, other parts of you definitely do work, so perhaps…” her hand trailed down to the lean muscle of his thigh, fingers stroking upwards, “we should concentrate on those. Let’s have this one Christmas together. No expectations. No promises. We don’t have a past, we don’t have a future. We have the present. Just a lot of laughter, and some truly phenomenal sex. What do you say?”

      “I say that sounds like the best Christmas I’ve had in years,” he replied.

       Chapter 5

      “Now that,” Leah said as she woke up, her tousled blonde head poking its way out from the duvet, “is a mighty fine view.”

      Rob was standing at the window, staring out into the fields. Completely naked. Those broad shoulders, bulked biceps; the smooth skin of his back rippling with lean muscle as he turned to smile at her. Tapered waist; the powerful length of his thighs. And right in the middle, the cherry on top of the pie, that utterly breath-taking backside. What a body. The kind she’d never seen anywhere but a movie screen before now.

      She’d got to know every inch of it over the last three days. In great and glorious detail. The bag she had with her was intended for hand luggage, and contained a bumper pack of condoms tucked away for the honeymoon that never was. Another little Christmas miracle, and one that allowed them both to explore each other in ways that had left them tingling and exhausted. Three days of unparalleled pleasure, cocooned in their cottage in the snow.

      “There’s been a thaw,” he said, turning to walk back over to the bed. Lord, he was magnificent. Every abdominal an awesome outline; every movement perfectly graceful; every flash of those dark brown eyes enough to make her wet. In a good way.

      “You might,” he said, climbing into bed next to her, “be able to leave soon. And I need to get back to work.”

      “Oh, well,” said Leah, rolling next to him and reaching across to trace the hard contours of his muscled chest. Hard and muscled but covered in the most gorgeous velvety skin she’d ever touched. It hardly seemed fair it should belong to a man. “That’s good news.”