She paused for a moment to ease her shoulders, then stood up to make herself a cup of tea. Phoebe and Joe were out at the back playing, and Lexi was staying another hour at the shop this afternoon because Miss Lewis had a doctor’s appointment.
As she waited for the kettle to boil Cecilia admitted that she relied heavily on her older daughter, who’d always been such a responsible child, taking far more on her young shoulders than she should have to, and not just for practical things. She always seemed to know when she, Cecilia, was feeling down. Perhaps, in a way, taking Albert’s place. But it wasn’t fair, was it – to place that sort of emotional burden on a child? Cecilia had always wanted her children to be free and happy to enjoy their young lives. She herself had been forced to grow up far too early and could barely remember being a child.
And now, time seemed to be running through Cecilia’s fingers like water from a tap she couldn’t turn off, and she could feel the hour fast approaching when she would not be needed so much. And the thought terrified her. To be needed, and loved, was what kept her going every single day, accentuated by the fact that her husband clearly did not fulfil either of those requirements. Well, she supposed that Albert did love her, but he had a funny way of showing it, and he certainly did not need her, had never needed her. He was perfectly happy living the solitary life with just himself to think about, himself to please.
When Lexi returned, she found Cecilia sitting in her chair with her head sunk low on her chest as she dozed. Lexi sighed inwardly. The pile of newly mended clothes on the table must have taken her mother all day to finish, and she’d be leaving for the laundry in a couple of hours. Working day and night was just too much for anyone, but what could they do? What could she, Lexi, do? Well, what she could do was present herself at the Guildhall. She’d been putting it off and putting it off until she was sure she knew every song by heart.
Looking down at her mother, Lexi felt so helpless and frustrated she could have screamed. It was all very well helping out as much as she could with everything, but she was not making enough money!
Early the following morning Lexi said – ‘Before I come home, Mama, I’ll pop down to the bakery for some fresh bread.’ Cecilia smiled but didn’t look up from her chair. It had been a very long night, and she hadn’t got home until 5 o’clock
‘Yes, we could do with another loaf,’ she said, then – ‘I’ll just close my eyes for a few minutes before I give Phoebe and Joe their breakfast, then later on I’m going down to help Anna. I haven’t got much mending today, thank goodness, but they’re still spring-cleaning at Grey Gables and I said I’d go down for an hour or two.’ She yawned. ‘The chimney sweep has been there for two days, and it takes time to get rid of the dust and all the cobwebs hanging down from those high ceilings, and to wash the architraves and skirting boards. Then we’ll tackle the curtains – if we’ve got any energy left.’
Lexi glanced back at her mother. If Cecilia had noticed that Lexi was wearing her best skirt and top, she hadn’t said anything. Lexi knew that to present herself well was the first step if she was to succeed in her mission. She’d certainly taken extra trouble with her appearance that morning, and had taken a very long time to brush out her hair until it shone even brighter than usual.
Later that morning, as soon as Miss Lewis had taken over at the sweet shop, Lexi made her way down the town to the Guildhall, bracing herself as she went up the steps towards the huge, polished entrance doors of the auspicious building. Inside, she caught her breath … she had never set foot inside the place before and its vastness took her by surprise. The overhead lighting made everything shine with a magical glow, and the huge vases of fresh flowers everywhere made it look even posher than Grey Gables.
The uniformed commissionaire behind the reception desk looked up as Lexi went forward.
‘Can I help you?’ he said.
Lexi cleared her throat. ‘Yes please. I would like to see Mr. Larson, if possible,’ she said.
There was a moment’s pause. ‘May I ask what this is about?’
‘It concerns entertaining guests,’ she began hesitantly, then gaining some courage from somewhere went on quickly. ‘Mr. Larson knows me and he said he would like me to … to … sing at the Pump Room, and I would like that very much indeed. I have a large repertoire and I am used to singing in public’ – well, in school and carolling – ‘and Mr. Larson asked me to come for an audition as soon as possible.’
‘Oh, really?’ the commissionaire said, obviously not believing her. ‘Mr. Larson is a very busy man,’ he said, sitting back and folding his arm., ‘I very much doubt that he is available this morning.’
The coolness of the man’s attitude sent Lexi’s heart plummeting, when miraculously Mr. Larson appeared from somewhere inside and immediately recognized her.
‘Oh good! There you are my dear young lady!’ he said. ‘You have chosen the perfect day because the pianist is here this morning and will hear you now! Follow me, follow me!’
The commissionaire’s eyes widened in disbelief, and to hid his embarrassment he suddenly found something very important to attend to beneath his feet.
Remembering just in time to pick up the loaf she’d promised to buy, Lexi ran back home, her cheeks aflame with excitement. She had done it! She and Dada had done it! Oh, if only he were home to hear the news!
Arriving at the cottage, Lexi paused before opening the door. Her mother knew nothing of this because Lexi had been afraid to tell her – but now she would have to know – though probably not until later when Cecilia had returned from Grey Gables.
But Cecilia was still home. ‘Oh – you’re a bit late today, Lexi,’ she said. ‘Were there a lot of customers? I’ll make you some tea and toast before I go – you sit down for a bit.’
Cecilia glanced at her daughter – who did look rather flushed – thinking that if she had her way, Lexi would still be at school, not getting up and going out so early and working all those hours, even if the money Lexi sometimes insisted on giving towards the rent was very useful.
As she spread jam on her toast, Lexi said carefully, ‘Mama, would you make me a dress? A new party dress? I grew out of my green one a long time ago – it nearly fits Phoebe now.’
Cecilia reached for her coat, raising her eyes. ‘Why do you want a party dress? There’s a long way to go before Christmas.’
Screwing up her courage, Lexi went straight to the point. Without giving her mother a chance to interrupt, she explained about the Councillor having heard her sing carols and how he had said that he would like her to perform to guests at the Pump Room while they were taking their refreshments and that she’d just had an audition at the Guildhall and finally, most importantly – that they would like her to start in September.
‘It was so exciting, Mama, and I wasn’t a bit nervous because the pianist was so kind and it didn’t matter that I don’t sing from music because he knew all my songs and as soon as I started singing he just followed me! It was like magic … and they will pay me a fee! I am actually going to be paid to sing, Mama, can you believe it! I am so excited!’ Lexi giggled, slightly hysterically. Well, it had been quite a morning. ‘I think I had better get something bigger to put all my money in, Mama, because I can hardly shut the lid on my shoe box!’
For a few moments Cecilia stood there hardly knowing what to say. Would her daughter ever stop her endless quest for money, to be rich? And would Lexi ever understand that they were already rich … they didn’t need the big house she said she was going to buy them one day, because they had everything already, a roof over their heads, enough to eat and drink and a little bit over. As a family they were all well dressed, and the children never went without their sweets.
‘Well, before this goes any further, I hope you’ve thought it through, Lexi,’ Cecilia said firmly. ‘Before you get involved