Clearly Caz hadn’t ‘sorted it out’ and from what I’d seen of her and her daughters, they all needed as much help as Max. I wasn’t being sizeist, but I was genuinely concerned for Max’s health.
‘Jo, I give Max second helpings of the main course but not pudding,’ I continued, addressing the complaints Caz had made. ‘Likewise with ice cream, cakes, biscuits and chocolate. He has one, the same as Adrian and Paula, but he’d eat sweet things non-stop if I let him. I assume the stuff Caz says I put on his plate that he doesn’t like is fruit and vegetables. He’s eaten some without a problem and what he doesn’t like he leaves. I don’t force him to eat anything, but I do encourage healthy eating. And it’s true I only usually have fizzy drinks in the house for special occasions, but Max has been having juice as well as water. He’s already had teeth out – he doesn’t want to be losing any more – and he only has water at school.’
‘Perhaps buy some cola to keep him happy.’
‘OK, if that’s what you want,’ I said, struggling to keep my voice even.
‘So what’s all this about making him walk because you don’t want to use your car?’
‘That’s ridiculous. On Sunday we walked to our local park. He’s been in the car on all other trips.’
‘How far is the park? Caz said walking is bad for Max’s asthma. Did you take his inhaler with you?’
‘Yes, of course, I take it everywhere, but he didn’t need it. The only time he’s used it was when he first arrived with you. The park is about a ten-minute walk.’
‘I’ll tell Caz, but in future can you take him in the car if you go to the park so she doesn’t worry?’
‘Not to that park,’ I said. ‘There are only a few car-parking places.’
‘So take him to a park where there are more parking places.’ I sighed, and so too did Jo. She was stressed and doing everything she could to appease Caz, but it made a nonsense of what I was trying to do to help Max have a healthier lifestyle. ‘You’ve got a big back garden,’ she continued. ‘He can play in there, it’s just as good. And the other thing I have to mention is, can you buy him a bag of sweets to take to the hospital to share with his mother and sister? Apparently they all take in a bag and share them. Max hasn’t been able to join in.’
‘But he’s been eating their sweets,’ I said.
‘He wants to take in a bag of his own. Sharing sweets is like a little family ritual. He’s feeling left out.’
‘OK, if that’s what you want, but eating that number of sweets every evening goes against my instincts to help Max.’
‘It will make Caz happy,’ Jo said, as if that was the sole objective. ‘I’ll phone her and reassure her that in future you will keep to what Max is used to.’
‘And ignore the fact that obesity is ruining his childhood?’
‘That’s a bit dramatic.’
‘Is it? The poor child was in tears last night because of his size. He didn’t want to go to school on Friday because it’s sports day.’
‘I didn’t like sports day either, I never won anything,’ Jo said, missing the point.
‘But this wasn’t about winning or losing, it was about not wanting to participate because of his size.’
‘What did you say?’
‘That I’d speak to his teacher, which I have done just now. They like all the children to join in, but she’s reassured me that Max won’t have to do anything beyond him or compete by himself. They are all in house teams. She’s going to have a chat with him.’
‘Mrs Marshall is very good,’ Jo said. It was about the only thing we agreed on. ‘But please don’t say anything to Caz about his size. It will upset her.’
‘Of course I won’t. She hardly speaks to me.’
‘I need to go now and phone Caz. I’m tied up for the rest of the day. And by the way, I’ve had notice of Max’s medical. It’s this Thursday. There’s a letter in the post to you.’
‘All right, thank you.’
We said goodbye and I hung up.
Jo had clearly been very stressed and short of time, as many social workers are. She’d focused on placating Caz, rather than looking at the wider picture. She hadn’t even asked how Max was settling in and what sort of weekend he’d had as I’d expect the social worker to do. I didn’t agree with the way Jo was handling this – keeping Max’s mother happy at the expense of Max’s health – but as the foster carer I had to do as I was told by the child’s social worker. That is the bottom line, whether we agree with it or not.
On my way to collect Paula from nursery I stopped off at our local shop, where I bought a bag of mixed sweets for Max to take with him to the hospital that night. In a small act of defiance I also bought a bag of grapes. If I was being forced to contribute to Max’s family’s poor eating, I would also offer a healthy option. If they didn’t want the grapes, I’d bring them home again.
Chapter Ten
That afternoon Jill phoned to ask how the weekend had gone and I updated her, including that I had seen Max’s teacher on Friday, the hospital visits, Max playing in the tent, our trip to the park, Max’s concerns about sports day, and Jo’s call and the complaints from Caz. Had Jill not telephoned me I would have phoned her before the end of the day. Jill tutted when I told her of Jo’s response to the complaints, although I knew she was too professional to criticize another social worker.
‘At least Jo is dealing with the complaints, so they are unlikely to go any further,’ Jill pointed out. ‘I suppose she feels that as Max will only be with you for a short while, there’s no point in making big changes. It would be different if he was with you long term.’
‘Yes, I understand.’
‘But generally Max is settling in well?’ she asked.
‘Yes. Which was why I was surprised to receive these complaints.’
‘I doubt they’ve come from Max, but obviously don’t question him.’
‘No, I wouldn’t.’
‘You dealt with the matter of sports day well,’ Jill added. She always found something positive to say. ‘I’m sure he’ll feel he can go and participate once his teacher has spoken to him.’
‘Yes, I hope so.’
‘Has Caz got a discharge date yet?’
‘Not as far as I know, although when I gave Summer a lift home she said her mother was having to walk more in preparation for going home.’
‘I’ll ask Jo next time I speak to her, and well done. Thanks for all you are doing for Max. It’s much appreciated.’ And those few words of thanks were enough to lift my spirits and renew my confidence, allowing me to move forward and once again concentrate on doing my best for Max while he was with us, which is what fostering is all about.
That afternoon, when I collected Adrian from school, he handed me a letter that informed all parents that the children needed to stay late on Friday, as it was a full dress rehearsal for the school’s end-of-year show. Adrian was excited to be in the production – based on Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat – as were all the children. Adrian’s costume – an ancient Egyptian – was already in school, hanging on his peg, having been checked and okayed by his teacher. That Adrian