The Highly Sensitive Person. Elaine N. Aron

F I tend to be very sensitive to pain. T F I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days, into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation. T F I am particularly sensitive to the effects of caffeine. T F I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens close by. T F I have a rich, complex inner life. T F I am made uncomfortable by loud noises. T F I am deeply moved by the arts or music. T F I am conscientious. T F I startle easily. T F I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time. T F When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating). T F I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once. T F I try hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things. T F I make it a point to avoid violent movies and TV shows. T F I become unpleasantly aroused when a lot is going on around me. T F Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me, disrupting my concentration or mood. T F Changes in my life shake me up. T F I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, works of art. T F I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations. T F When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise. T F When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy. T F

      SCORING YOURSELF

      If you answered true to twelve or more of the questions, you’re probably highly sensitive.

      But frankly, no psychological test is so accurate that you should base your life on it. If only one or two questions are true of you but they are extremely true, you might also be justified in calling yourself highly sensitive.

      Read on, and if you recognize yourself in the in-depth description of a highly sensitive person in chapter I, consider yourself one. The rest of this book will help you understand yourself better and learn to thrive in today’s not-so-sensitive world.

       1 The Facts About Being Highly Sensitive A (Wrong) Sense of Being Flawed

      In this chapter you will learn the basic facts about your trait and how it makes you different from others. You will also discover the rest of your inherited personality and have your eyes opened about your culture’s view of you. But first you should meet Kristen.

       She Thought She Was Crazy

      Kristen was the twenty-third interview of my research on HSPs. She was an intelligent, clear-eyed college student. But soon into our interview her voice began to tremble.

      “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “But I really signed up to see you because you’re a psychologist and I had to talk to someone who could tell me—” Her voice broke. “Am I crazy?” I studied her with sympathy. She was obviously feeling desperate, but nothing she had said so far had given me any sense of mental illness. But then, I was already listening differently to people like Kristen.

      She tried again, as if afraid to give me time to answer. “I feel so different. I always did. I don’t mean—I mean, my family was great. My childhood was almost idyllic until I had to go to school. Although Mom says I was always a grumpy baby.”

      She took a breath. I said something