Didn’t see you last night. I want my little shampoos, ha ha.
From Alex
To Rosie
Subject Re: Catching up?
Heading to Donegal for the weekend. Beth’s parents have a little ‘hideaway’ there. Will drop your pressie by when I get back.
To the most inconsiderate asshole of a friend
I’m writing you this letter because I know that if I say what I have to say to your face I will probably punch you.
I don’t know you any more. I don’t see you any more. All I get is a quick text or a rushed email from you every few days. I know you are busy and I know you have Bethany, but hello? I’m supposed to be your best friend.
You have no idea what this summer has been like. Since we were kids we pushed away every single person that could possibly have been our friend until there was only me and you. It’s not that we didn’t want anyone else, it’s just that we didn’t need them. You always had me. I always had you. Now you have Bethany and I have no one.
Sadly it looks like you don’t need me any more. I feel like those other people that used to try to become our friends. I know you’re probably not doing it deliberately just as we never did. Anyway, I’m not moaning on about how much I hate her, I’m just trying to tell you that I miss you. And that, well … I’m lonely.
Whenever you cancel nights out I end up staying home with Mum and Dad watching TV. Stephanie’s always out and even Kevin has more of a life than I do. It’s so depressing. This was supposed to be our summer of fun. What happened? Can’t you be friends with two people at once?
I know you have found someone who is extra special, and that you both have a unique ‘bond’, or whatever, that you and I will never have. But we have another bond: we’re best friends. Or does the best friend bond disappear as soon as you meet somebody else? Maybe it does, and I just don’t understand that because I haven’t met that ‘somebody special’. I’m not in any hurry to either. I liked things the way they were.
In a few years’ time if my name ever comes up you will probably say, ‘Rosie. Now there’s a name I haven’t heard for ages. We used to be best friends. I wonder what she’s doing now; I haven’t seen or thought of her in years!’ You will sound like my mum and dad when they have dinner parties with friends and talk about old times. They mention people I’ve never even heard of when they’re talking about some of the most important days of their lives. How could Mum’s bridesmaid of twenty years ago be someone she doesn’t even ring up now? Or in Dad’s case, how could he not know where his own best friend from school lives?
Anyway, my point is (I know, I know, there is one), I don’t want to be one of those easily forgotten people, so important at the time, so special, so influential and so treasured, yet years later just a vague face and a distant memory. I want us to be best friends for ever, Alex.
I’m happy you’re happy, really I am, but I feel like I’ve been left behind. Maybe our time has come and gone. Maybe your time is now meant to be spent with Bethany. And if that’s the case I won’t bother sending you this letter. And if I’m not sending this letter then what am I doing still writing it? OK, I’m going now and I’m ripping these muddled thoughts up.
Your friend,
Rosie
From Alex
To Rosie
Subject Buttercup!!
Hey, Buttercup, you OK? (Haven’t called you that for a long time!) I haven’t heard or seen you in a while. I’m sending you this email because every time I call by your house, you’re either in the bath or not there. Should I begin to take this personally? But knowing you, if you had a problem with me you wouldn’t be too shy to let me know all about it!
Anyway, once the summer is over we’ll see each other every day. We’ll be sick of the sight of each other then! I can’t believe this is our last year in school. It’s crazy! This time next year I’ll be studying medicine and you will be hotel manager woman extraordinaire! Things at work have been frantic. Dad kind of gave me a promotion so I’ve more to do than just filing and labelling. (I answer phones now too.) But I need the money and at least I get to see Bethany everyday. How’s your job as chief dishwasher at The Dragon? I’m amazed you turned down baby-sitting for that. You could have stayed in all night and watched TV instead of turning your hands to prunes while you scrape egg noodles from woks. Anyway, email me or call me back or something.
From Rosie
To Alex
Subject Moonbeam!
It’s not because I hate Bethany that I’m not seeing much of you (although I do hate her) it’s just that I think Bethany dislikes me just a little. It could have something to do with the fact that a friend of hers told her what I wrote about her in that (not so) private instant messaging thingy in computer class last year. But I suppose you already know that. I don’t think she liked being called a slut, I don’t know why … some women are just funny like that. (Speaking of computer class, you know Mr. Simpson got married this summer? I’m gutted. I’ll never look at Excel in the same way again.)
Anyway it’s your birthday soon! You will have finally reached the grand old age of eighteen! Want to go out and do some legal celebrating (well, legal for you, anyway)? Let me know.
PS. Please STOP calling me Buttercup!
From Alex
To Rosie
Subject 18th Birthday
Good to hear you’re alive after all. I was beginning to worry! I would love to celebrate my 18th with you but Bethany’s parents are taking me and my parents out for dinner to the Hazel. (How posh is that?) It’s so we can all get to know each other. Sorry, another night definitely.
Dearest Alex,
Well whoopdeedoo for you.
Fuck Bethany.
Fuck her parents.
Fuck the Hazel.
And fuck you.
Love your best friend Rosie
From Rosie
To Alex
Subject Happy Birthday!
OK then. Well, enjoy the meal. Happy birthday!
From Rosie
To Alex
Subject DISASTER!
I can’t believe this is happening! I was just talking to your mum; called over for a chat and she told me the bad news. This is the worst news ever! Please call me when you can. Your boss keeps telling me you can’t take calls during working hours – QUIT, Mr. I never EVER want to work in an office.
This is so terrible. I feel awful!
Dear Mr. Stewart,
We are delighted to inform you that you have been accepted to fill the position of Vice President of Charles and Charles Co. We are thrilled that you will be joining the team over here and we look forward to welcoming you and your family to Boston.
I hope the relocation package we are offering is to your satisfaction. If there is anything further that Charles and Charles Co. can do for you, please do not hesitate to ask. Maria Agnesi, personnel executive, will call you to discuss a suitable date for you to begin work.
We look forward to seeing you at the office.
Welcome to the team!
Yours