‘Why are you smiling? You just looked like you might faint.’
‘You look worried,’ he replied. He took her hand.
‘Oh, you like my face like this, do you?’
Where exactly had this new snappiness come from? She reminded herself more and more of Bubblee by the day. She guessed it was the result of living with the new and not-improved Mustafa.
‘Only when it’s for me,’ said Mustafa.
Farah smiled and shook her head. ‘It’s a lot easier being worried about you when you’re in this kind of mood.’
He looked embarrassed. ‘I know. I’m sorry, babe. I don’t know… Sometimes I don’t know what comes over me.’
Mustafa kissed her forehead as she forgave him again, because Farah realized that you can’t forgive someone just the once. You have to do it every time the same resentment hits you.
‘I know,’ she said.
They picked up the trays again and made their way towards the car. Farah sat in the driver’s seat and took out her phone.
Bubblee: Where are you?? We’re all already here, waiting.
Mae: Bubs is in cntrl mode. Hurryyyyyy
Fatti: Our baby’s going to uni!
Mae: Lol. Im rolin my eyes. N jus so u kno im a woman nw
Bubblee: One who can’t spell properly.
Farah: On my way. Mae, honestly. Sometimes it’s worth listening to Bubblee.
Farah looked over at Mustafa, in the passenger seat, staring blankly out of the window and tried not to think about how Bubblee felt about him. About them.
Farah: Only sometimes, though.
Mae had to listen in to her parents’ room. She almost hesitated, as if she were already at university and weaning herself off the habit. She crept along the corridor, bending over the bannisters to make sure the others weren’t going to see her, and leaned in to the door. Silence. Why couldn’t her parents make eavesdropping easier for her? Then she heard her mum.
‘I am just an old woman now.’
Weird. Her mum’s tone wasn’t resigned, it seemed to ask for a reaction. But of course this was her dad they were talking about. Dad was about as responsive as a tortoise.
‘We are both old,’ he replied.
Mae rolled her eyes and ambled down the stairs, biting into her home-made cacao-and-chia-seed almond ball. Maybe she was imagining her mum’s behaviour becoming erratic. She’d probably taken a leaf out of Mustafa’s book. God, her family needed to take a chill pill. All this angst made Mae twitchy – as if she couldn’t really concentrate on her own angst, and, hello, she had plenty if this lot would ever allow her to really worry about it. She felt a rush of excitement at the idea of the unending possibilities university would bring. Her life stretched out in front of her into this magically unknown place. She forgot about her parents, her brother-in-law, Mustafa – everything family related – and skipped down the last few steps, accidentally dropping her cacao ball. Oh, well, there were worse things she could let drop.
‘Fazaroona and Mussie Mustafa. Enter, please.’
Mae bowed down low and outstretched her arm for Farah and Mustafa. For some reason Farah felt tears prickle her eyes. She had an overwhelming feeling of love for the lightness of Mae and prayed that university wouldn’t change her.
‘Salamalaikum, Mae,’ replied Mustafa.
Farah wished he’d joked back with Mae, done a little skit with her, the way he would’ve done in the past. Now Mae seemed to annoy him. He’d say things like: Not everything in life is a joke. When is she going to be serious about life? Despite the fact that Farah would sometimes share this sentiment, she wondered why everyone had to be so serious, anyway. Mae cleared her throat and looked solemn.
‘Mustafa Bhai. Deep gratitude for the sandwiches. Very much obliged. I will be eating the filling, these are defo not gluten-free.’
He handed the tray to her as he walked into the house. Mae widened her eyes at Farah as if to say: Your husband – what a trip.
‘The clan awaits,’ said Mae as she and Farah followed Mustafa into the living room.
‘Well, it’s about time,’ exclaimed Bubblee. ‘I can make it from London on time but you guys, who live ten minutes away, are late.’
‘Nice to see you too, Bubs,’ said Farah.
‘Bubblee, let your sister sit down before you start shouting at us all,’ interrupted their father.
Their mum gave him a long look, and her voice softened as she spoke: ‘Listen to your abba.’
But their dad didn’t seem to notice their mum staring at him as he took Mustafa’s jacket and went to hang it up.
Bubblee embraced Farah in a rather sturdy hug. ‘Sorry. Bloody neighbours have a new baby that cries all hours into the morning, and I haven’t slept for days.’
Farah looked at Bubblee properly and could see what she meant. She had dark circles, her hair looked as though it needed a wash and without any make-up on, Bubs looked older than usual. Older than Farah did, she was sure, and they were twins.
‘The poor baby,’ said Fatti, who pushed herself off the sofa. ‘You should offer some help to them, you know. I mean, I know you’re busy, but if you’re tired imagine how the parents must feel.’
Farah observed her oldest sister, Fatti, who was looking rather well. Marriage agreed with her. It looked as though her husband, Ash, was thinking along the same lines. Every time Fatti spoke, he seemed to think it was the most important thing being said. That’s how Mustafa used to look at Farah when they got married. She felt a pang of loss in the face of Fatti’s gain. Must not compare lives. MUST. NOT. COMPARE. LIVES. If only the heart could do what the head told it to.
‘Fats,’ said Mae. ‘I’m sure the parents of the newborn have got enough troubles without you springing Bubblee onto them.’
Bubblee smacked Mae around the head as their mum said: ‘Fatti, you must think of having your own babies and stop worrying about someone else’s.’
Fatti just looked at her hands.
‘Salam, mate,’ said Ash, shaking Mustafa’s hand.
Farah had to take a minute and appreciate the moment. After everything they’d gone through in the past few years, they were all here together. Apart from Jay.
‘Your brother is out making a delivery,’ explained her mum. ‘He is working very hard now.’
Farah had to admit that it was better than him sitting around, waiting for someone to fix his life. Even if she wanted to she couldn’t give him money. And she wouldn’t want to – not after he’d turned their lives upside down.
‘We should find him a nice wife now,’ her mum added.
‘Who’d wanna marry him?’ exclaimed Mae. ‘He’s a proper loser.’
‘Mae.’ Their mum narrowed her eyes at her.
‘But it’s true though, isn’t it? I mean, he probably needs another five years before he can even support himself, let alone some poor woman who’s got to stay married to him for the rest of her life.’
‘Five years? A man has needs,’ said their mum, pausing meaningfully, looking around the room before her eyes rested on her husband. ‘Everyone does.’
The