Auntie Sheila was head of the Mob. She drove around in a tinted black BMW with a personalised number-plate that read SHEILA 1. My Uncle Bali had bought this car for her for their thirtieth wedding anniversary last month and the comment she muttered under her breath was ‘Sheila didn’t win anything.’ My uncle had very selective hearing and so he didn’t hear this and continued to undo the big pink bow he had put on it as he handed Sheila the keys. Shortly after, Auntie Meena pulled up in our driveway with a new silver Saab convertible—there was no way she could be outdone—and the outside of our house would have looked like a show’room had it not been for my Auntie Sasha’s clapped-out Mini Metro, which Sheila insisted she park on the road, although Sasha didn’t.
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