‘He did,’ I said.
The clock on the wall ticked away the silence, and I watched Mrs Morton’s mouth trying to choose words.
‘I just don’t want you to be disappointed,’ she said eventually. ‘God isn’t always easy to spot.’
‘We’ll find Him, and when we do, everyone will be safe and Mrs Creasy will come home.’ I slid a spoonful of Angel Delight into my mouth.
‘We’ll be local heroes,’ said Tilly, and she smiled and licked the tip of her spoon.
‘I think it might take a little more than God to bring Mrs Creasy back.’ Mrs Morton leaned over and opened another window. I could hear an ice-cream van drift through the estate, drawing children from their gardens like a conjuror.
‘We’ve decided she probably isn’t dead after all,’ I said.
‘Well, that’s something.’
‘And now we need God to find her. You have to remember that God is everywhere, Mrs Morton.’ I waved my arms about. ‘So He can quite easily find people, and bring them back from captivity.’
‘Who said that?’ Mrs Morton took off her glasses and pinched at the marks they had left.
‘God,’ I replied, in a very shocked voice, and I made my eyes as wide as I could.
Mrs Morton started to speak, but then she sighed and shook her head, and decided to deal with the drying up instead.
‘Just don’t raise your hopes,’ she said.
‘It’s nearly Blue Peter.’ Tilly slid from her chair. ‘I’ll put the television on to warm up.’
She disappeared into the front room, and I unpeeled my legs from the seat and took my bowl to the sink.
‘Where are you going to begin?’ said Mrs Morton.
‘We’ll just work our way round until He pops up.’ I handed her the bowl.
‘I see.’
I had got as far as the hall when she called me back.
‘Grace.’
I stood in the doorway. The ice-cream van had travelled further away, and broken notes edged into the room.
‘When you go around the avenue,’ she said, ‘you’ll make sure that you miss out number eleven.’
I frowned. ‘Will I?’
‘You will,’ she said.
I started to speak, but her face didn’t suggest that it wanted to have a conversation.
‘Okay,’ I said.
There was a beat before my answer. But I don’t think Mrs Morton heard it.
29 June 1976
The policeman was very tall, even after he took his hat off.
I had never seen a policeman close up before. He wore a thick uniform, which made him smell of material, and his buttons were so shiny I could see our whole kitchen reflected back at me as he spoke.
Routine inquiries, he said.
I thought I would like a job where inquiring about everyone else’s private business was considered perfectly routine.
I watched the cooker dance around on his chest.
There had been a knock on the door in the middle of Crossroads. My mother was all for ignoring it, until my father looked out of the window and saw a police car parked on the other side of our wall. He said Shit, and I laughed into a cushion and my mother told my father off, and my father nearly fell over Remington on his way into the hall.
Now the policeman stood in the middle of our kitchen, and we stood around the edges, watching him. He reminded me a bit of the vicar. They both seemed to be able to make people look small and guilty.
‘Well now, let me see, well,’ my father said. He wiped the sweat from his top lip with a tea towel and looked at my mother. ‘Can you remember when we last saw her, Sylve?’
My mother gathered the place mats up from the kitchen table. ‘I can’t say as I do,’ she said, and put them all back again.
‘It could have been Thursday,’ my father said.
‘Or Friday,’ my mother said.
My father cornered a glance at my mother. ‘Or Friday,’ he said into his tea towel.
If I had been the shiny policeman, I would have taken one look at their behaviour and arrested them on the spot for being master criminals.
‘Actually, it was Saturday morning.’
Three pairs of eyes and a tea towel turned towards me.
‘Was it now?’ The policeman crouched down and I heard the material creak around his knees.
It made him smaller than me, and I didn’t want him to feel awkward, so I sat down.
‘It was,’ I said.
His eyes were as dark as his uniform. I stared into them for a very long time, but he didn’t appear to blink.
‘And how do you know that?’ he said.
‘Because Tiswas was on.’
‘My kids love Tiswas.’
‘I hate it,’ I said.
My father coughed.
‘So what did she say when you saw her, Grace?’ the policeman creaked again and shifted his weight.
‘She knocked on the door because she wanted to borrow the telephone.’
‘They don’t have one,’ said my mother, in the kind of voice people use when they have something that someone else doesn’t.
‘And why did she want to do that?’
‘She said she wanted to ring for a taxi, but I didn’t let her in because my mother was having a lie-down.’
We all turned to my mother, who turned to her place mats.
‘I’ve been told to never let strangers into the house,’ I said.
‘But Mrs Creasy wasn’t a stranger, was she?’ The policeman finally blinked.
‘She wasn’t a stranger, but she looked strange.’
‘In what way?’
I leaned back in the chair and thought about it. ‘You know how people look when they have really bad toothache?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, a bit worse than that.’
The policeman stood up and put his hat back on. He filled the whole room.
‘Will you find her?’ I said.
The policeman didn’t answer. Instead, he went into the hall with my father and they spoke so quietly I couldn’t hear a word they said. Even when I held my breath and leaned all the way across the kitchen table.
‘I don’t think they will,’ I said.
My mother emptied the teapot. ‘No,’ she said, ‘neither do I.’
Then she filled the kettle very violently, because I don’t think she meant the words to come out.
*