She kicked off the blanket, stood up and stretched, then walked to the edge of the balcony.
The waves crashed below her and she could see the white foam greedily lapping the edges of the rocks.
She put her hands on the edge of the iron balcony and peered down further, trying to hear the sounds of the sea, seeing how far down the rocks were, or how far up she was.
What was below? she wondered. She thought of Uncle Henri. Is this what he felt? Did he hear l’appel du vide? The call of the void?
That’s what her mother once said when she had asked how he had died.
Was it calling her now?
She couldn’t be sure, as she saw a gull dive into the foam and pull a writhing silver treasure from the water.
‘Well done,’ she said with a smile to the bird.
Tiredness draped its heavy arms around her now, and she let go of the iron railing and nodded to the sea below.
‘Not today,’ she said, and went inside to finally sleep.
* * *
When she woke, dusk was settling in the sky. She walked out of her room and saw her mother had left her a note on the wooden table.
Gone to drink with the Michels. Come and join us if you want.
Celeste had no idea who the Michels were, but she knew her mother would be drinking too much with people who saw too much sun, regaling them of stories and gossip of her ex-mother-in-law, as no doubt the news of Daphné’s death would be out now.
Celeste sighed and picked up a peach from the mosaic bowl her mother had made during one of her artistic retreats. Matilde was a frustrated artist with no particular talent, but she had tried every mode possible in which to express herself.
It seems the peach doesn’t fall far from the tree, Celeste mused, as she bit into the soft flesh of the fruit. As the skin brushed her tongue, she missed Paul’s touch and so she picked up her phone from the table and dialled his number.
He answered on the first ring. ‘Darling, where are you? What’s happened? Are you with your grand-mère?’
Hearing his voice, Celeste relaxed. She walked out onto the balcony.
‘No, I’m with my mother,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t call you back, I’ve had some things in my head I needed to think about.’
She took another bite of the peach and then threw the rest over the edge, down into the void.
‘But I’m coming back to you now,’ she said and everything was back to how it was before, except it all felt so different and she couldn’t explain why.
* * *
Back in Paris, Paul was late, as usual. Celeste, feeling less restless than usual, thanks to a glass of wine and a few puffs on a cigarette, leafed through a copy of French Vogue.
Her phone rang.
‘Darling, I can’t get away,’ Paul complained.
Celeste took a gulp of wine.
‘But I came back from Nice for you,’ she said, hating that she sounded so whiny.
‘I know, but there is a meeting I must attend,’ he said. She could hear laughing in the background. ‘I will come to the funeral. Has your father told you the details yet?’
‘No,’ snapped Celeste. She had tried to call her father numerous times to learn of the funeral plans, but Robert wasn’t answering his phone.
‘You will let me know?’ Paul asked, sounding very formal, and Celeste hated him for a moment.
‘Perhaps,’ she said and ended the call.
She then scrolled through her phone until she found a number that made her smile.
After dialling, she waited. He would always answer her calls.
‘Hello.’ His voice sounded wary.
‘It’s Celeste,’ she said in her most seductive tone.
‘I know, your number came up on my phone.’
This wasn’t quite the greeting she had hoped for. She had left Charles for Paul and had ignored his calls and heartache for a year. Surely he wasn’t over her yet? She needed to let Paul know she also had a life outside of her bed.
‘Did you want to get a drink?’ she asked, running her finger over the rim of the wine glass.
‘No thank you, I have plans,’ Charles said.
Celeste believed him. She knew he wasn’t playing games; that was her job.
‘Are you seeing someone?’ she asked softly.
‘I’m engaged,’ came the reply.
Celeste sighed. Charles was a good man, which was why she had left him for Paul. She had terrible taste in men, Matilde had once said, not that she was the greatest connoisseur either.
‘Felicitations,’ she said and then ended the call with no further promises.
She leaned back in the chair and lifted up her long blonde hair so it spilled over the black leather.
She had dressed for Paul just the way he liked, in a black chiffon cocktail dress and no lingerie. The dress was short enough to show off her endless legs and plunged to take advantage of her décolletage.
God, men were so easy to amuse, she thought, as she kicked off her heels and then stood up, and peeled off her dress and walked naked to her room.
Pulling on sweatpants and an old T-shirt that was fraying at the edges but softer than what she imagined clouds would feel like, she went back to her chair, collecting the bottle of wine on her way through. Celeste could have been a model if she had been prepared to work hard enough, attending the castings and doing prestigious jobs for little money to build up her portfolio, but she didn’t want to work that hard, and her first two years after leaving Allemagne were spent in Amsterdam, where she got stoned every day and worked in a café, trying to recover from her schooling experience.
Her head began to hurt, so she took two of her extra strong painkillers and put her music player into speakers. Soon the soft sounds of Marvin Gaye singing accompanied her as she poured herself more wine.
She needed to do something about Paul, but she didn’t have the energy for it now.
Marvin was asking her to dance and Celeste needed to move. She felt her feet tapping and then her head bob and soon her hips moved with the rhythm. Closing her eyes, she turned up the music, put down her wine and gave her evening to Marvin, the only man who had never let her down.
Tomorrow could wait, she decided and she wondered what, if anything, was going to change now that Grand-Mère was gone.
Billie, Melbourne
The laboratory was empty when Billie March arrived at work. She turned on the lights and breathed in the cleanliness, and then put her bag away. After donning her white coat, she shoved her phone into her pocket and placed ear buds into her ears and turned on the music.
This was her favourite time of day—when her co-workers were exhausted at the end of the week and they struggled into work one by one, talking about their plans for the weekend.
Billie wouldn’t have a weekend if she could help it, but this weekend she had