‘Actually he asked me if I could love him?’
‘Golly, that was quick. Could you?’
‘Oh, I don’t know. Sometimes I think yes and other times no. I don’t want to go back to the way it was, the daily grind with work and my parents and nothing to look forward to at all, but then…‘
‘Don’t tie yourself down because of something like that,’ Joanne said. ‘God, I wish I looked like you and had your figure. Lads must be queuing up to claim you.’
‘They’re not, Joanne,’ Maria said. ‘I have a bedridden father, fast turning into an alcoholic, and a mother who doesn’t know what day of the week it is. That is enough to put off any but the most stalwart. Barney knows the situation and accepts it. He is good with Daddy and they get on together. He isn’t so good with Mammy, but then that is the same as everyone else.’
Joanne said nothing, for she sensed that Maria hadn’t finished. After a while, she went on, ‘I suppose what I am really saying, Joanne, is if I don’t take Barney, I think in the end I will be left alone, and I have coped alone for long enough. There is something else as well. So many demands are made upon me, I seldom have time to think about myself. It would be wonderful to have someone who cared about me and my needs. I could do with that so much sometimes when I feel the burden is heavy.’
‘I’ve heard and understood every word that you’ve said,’ Joanne replied. ‘And all I would advise is, take your time over making the decision.’
‘Barney isn’t pressing me,’ Maria said. ‘But on the other hand, he’ll not wait for ever.’
Before she’d analysed how she felt about Barney, Bella came over one evening to talk about Sarah. She left it till she knew Sarah was in bed and then she confronted Maria and her father. ‘It’s not that I’m not sorry for her. God, it breaks my heart to see her this way, but…well, it’s the aggression, d’you see? She nearly scratched the eyes out of Maggie and bit me on the arm.’ At this, Bella rolled up her sleeve to show the ring of purple teeth marks sunk into the skin. ‘And it was for nothing at all, you know,’ she went on. ‘Have you not noticed it yourself?’
Maria had noticed Sarah often slapped out at her and pushed her away roughly, but she hadn’t started biting or scratching. There was no doubting the marks on Bella’s arm, though. ‘I’m sorry to the heart of me that you have had to cope with this,’ said Sam.
Bella looked from Sam to Maria and back again.
Maria said. ‘I’ve noticed Mammy being rougher than she used to be.’
‘Have you?’ Sam said.
‘Aye,’ Maria said. ‘I think it’s frustration. It’s always when I’m doing things with her.’
‘I’m sure you’re right,’ Sam said. He too had noticed the deterioration in his wife and so had Barney. He knew because they’d talked about it often, as Barney wheeled him about the town, or later in the pub, sinking a pint or two. Sam knew Barney had been nervous of Sarah from the first, but didn’t blame him for that. He’d known and loved Sarah for years, but that girl and woman had ceased to exist. Sometimes her odd behaviour left him edgy.
‘She’s getting no better, Sam, but worse,’ Barney had said just days before. ‘And it’s Maria bears the brunt of it.’
‘God,’ Sam said, ‘d’you think I don’t know that?’
‘I know,’ Barney said soothingly. ‘And it’s never an easy choice to make to put someone away, but have you thought of it from Sarah’s point of view? You might in fact be doing her a disservice leaving her in the house.’
‘How?’
Barney chose his words with care. If any sort of future lay with Maria, as he hoped, then that mad old woman could not be part of it, but he knew he mustn’t betray how he was feeling. ‘Well,’ he said, ‘she’s getting no treatment while she stays at home.’
‘Is there treatment for what ails her?’ Sam asked. Hope, like a flickering candle flame, began to burn inside him.
‘I don’t know,’ Barney said. ‘But she hasn’t had the chance to see if they can do something for her.’
‘Maria wouldn’t like her going anywhere.’
‘This isn’t just about Maria,’ Barney said bluntly. ‘It’s about what’s good for Sarah. Why don’t you talk it over with Dr Shearer? He could call one afternoon when Maria’s at work, and she’d need know nothing about it. I should be guided by him.’
Sam saw the sense of that. Dr Shearer called a couple of days later and Sam asked Barney to stay. The doctor was not a specialist in matters of the mind and didn’t pretend he was. His main concern was for Maria, for he’d often glimpsed her at Mass and knew she looked worn out.
What he said was, ‘I don’t know much about the treatments that could be offered to your wife, Sam, but they have made great strides in mental health in the past five years.’
‘So she might get a little better if we agree to her going away for specialist treatment?’ Sam said.
‘She may,’ the doctor said, and gave a shrug. ‘She may not, but one thing I can say categorically is she’ll not improve being left to languish at home.’
‘She’ll be upset,’ Sam said. ‘We’ll have to prepare her.’
‘If she is as bad as you say, she’ll hardly know anything about it,’ Dr Shearer said. ‘It’s Maria—’
‘It’s all right,’ Barney put in. ‘I’ll deal with Maria.’
The doctor’s eyes narrowed. So, he thought, that’s the way of it. He had little time for the McPhearsons and knew they didn’t earn a living honestly, and yet even those who whispered about Barney agreed he was kindness itself to Sam. Maybe, the doctor thought, if he married Maria, he’d have a turn-around. He’d seen it before.
Anyway, it wasn’t as if the path to Maria’s door was beaten down with a host of other suitors. He’d glimpsed her a few times some months back with the Hopkins lad, but that had obviously come to nothing. She needed someone to shoulder the burden she had piling on top of her and maybe Barney was better than none at all.
‘Very well then,’ the doctor said. ‘I’ll make enquiries. There’s nothing to be gained by dallying.’
So, armed with the doctor’s recommendation, they were all waiting for Maria when she came in from work. Sam had even asked Bella to come in to lend weight to the argument. Maria was semi prepared, for when she had called in at the shop to collect her mother, Dora had met her at the door and said to leave her a while, her daddy wanted to talk to her about something.
She guessed what it was, and when she saw the deputation waiting for her, she felt her heart sink. ‘What’s this?’ she said, though she knew full well.
‘Come up here to me,’ Sam urged.
Maria didn’t even remove her coat before approaching the bed and perching on the side of it, where she looked straight into her father’s face and asked again, ‘What’s this?’
Sam reached for Maria’s hands and said gently, ‘It’s about your mother, pet. You know what is to be done. There is now only one course open to us.’
The roof of Maria’s mouth was suddenly very dry. They were all ranged against her, even Barney, she thought. But Sarah was her mother. Surely, they could see that. ‘I can’t…’ she almost whimpered. ‘I can’t have her put away.’
‘Come, come,’ Sam said. ‘Don’t think of it as putting her away. Think of it as going to the psychiatric unit for treatment.’
‘Huh.’
‘Look,