“Maybe it’s nap time.”
“But you don’t like naps.”
“No.” Amanda shook her head earnestly. “But you like them. So, maybe we should have one.”
“I’m fine, honey. I have to study for this test.”
“Tests are dumb.”
Tests made Gina feel dumb sometimes. She smiled again. “No, they’re good. This test means I can go to my next class and then I can be Doctor Gina.”
“And Doctor Gina means no more EMT Gina,” Amanda Jane recited with her.
“You got it, kiddo.” She stared back down at the paper, trying to make sense of the words as they danced over the page, but she didn’t see any of them. All she could see was Reed’s thin face.
Maybe because Amanda Jane looked so much like him. Or as he had as a boy, before things had gotten so bad.
He’d been so beautiful to her then, so tragic. With a face like an angel and a heart so full of hope, even after it had been crushed again and again. She’d waited for him to notice her as something other than Crystal’s sister.
It was ironic, really.
She’d ended up a parent the end of her senior year and she’d never had sex to prevent exactly that thing. Gina wanted to get an education, a career, before she started a family. And she wanted to do it the right way. She wanted to fall in love, have babies with a man who wanted to be a father and a husband. She wanted the white picket fence and the American dream.
And now, she supposed she had fallen in love, but with Amanda Jane. That girl was her heart and soul, and Gina would do anything she had to do to provide a good life for her. Anything.
Gina had a feeling that the universe was going to test her mettle with that statement, but she didn’t care. There was nothing more important to her than giving Amanda Jane the life she deserved.
She knew that meant seeing Reed again and she also knew it meant that she couldn’t let her softer feelings for the boy he’d been get in the way. He wasn’t that boy anymore. He was a grown man who’d had no problem playing hardball.
But neither would Gina.
She just couldn’t reconcile that with the boy he’d been.
Gina looked back down at Amanda Jane’s serious blue eyes and found another smile. “Hey, you want to help me study for this test?”
Amanda Jane put down her doll and her small fingers reached for the flash cards. She was probably the only six-year-old who knew the names of all the bones in the human body. She’d been tested as gifted, and Gina wasn’t sure if it was because she included Amanda Jane in her studies as a means to double task spending time with her as well as test prep, or if it was because she was wired much like Gina herself.
Either way, it both warmed and broke her heart at the same time. She never wanted Amanda Jane to feel the way that she did growing up. She never wanted her to be the dirty kid who had to eat free lunch, who was the hope in teachers’ eyes. That someday, they knew she’d be the story they told to their class about how if Gina Townsend could do it, they could do it, too.
Reed’s financial support could change all of that.
She wouldn’t care what he thought of her, as long as Amanda Jane was taken care of.
But there was a secret part of her that wanted him to come back to Glory and realize that he’d always been in love with her and they’d get married, raise Amanda Jane together and live happily ever after.
Silly as it was.
Crystal was her mother, not Gina. And if Reed had ever had any feelings for her, he would’ve told her somehow. Acted on them in some way. She didn’t even know him anymore.
She had Amanda Jane. She was going to be a doctor. Nothing could stop her. Not her past, not her sister and definitely not Reed Hollingsworth.
Her cell rang and she saw that it was Emma.
A knot tightened in on itself in her gut. It had to be the meeting to discuss this whole insane idea of marriage.
“Hit me with it,” she said by way of greeting.
“What, no hello?”
“Come on, Emma.” Gina was sure if she had to wait another second, the anticipation might kill her. Whatever the answer here was, it would change her life.
“Reed and his lawyer want to meet today to talk about the judge’s suggestion. He’s offering so much more than we asked for and if we can hash this out together, you’ll be more likely to get what you want.”
“What do you mean?” That was when the knot tightened so hard she thought she was going to be sick. She knew somehow he was going to get his way or she was going to lose custody or something else awful. But she needed Emma to lay it out on the table for her.
“He’s agreed to the marriage. Coparenting, cohabitation... Because he’s being so generous, the judge will look more favorably on his requests. He’s got his lawyer setting up a trust for Amanda Jane and one for you—”
“I didn’t want a trust. I don’t want his money for myself. I can make my own.” She was horrified at the thought. Because she didn’t want his money for herself. She just wanted Amanda Jane to get what was hers. She just wanted her to be safe and secure. She didn’t need his money.
“You can. But he thinks that time would be better spent with Amanda Jane.”
“Excuse me, what?” She blinked.
“He wants you to quit both jobs and focus only on school and being a caregiver.”
Her first instinct was to rail against this. How dare he demand that of her? How dare he make the decision for her? He wasn’t a king on a golden throne. He didn’t get to dictate. But her reasons for fighting it would be simple pride. Deep down, she knew it would be better for her niece. But she couldn’t get past how much control that would give him. “And that leaves him holding the purse strings and us his puppets. He wants us totally dependent on him.”
That idea terrified her. She didn’t want anyone to have control over her. She had worked too long and too hard to pull herself up to suddenly throw herself on his mercy. To be legally and financially bound...
“I think that’s part of it, but you can’t deny it would be good for Amanda Jane.”
“I know that. But it won’t be good for me.”
“Won’t it?” Emma asked gently. “But he doesn’t need to know that. Just think about what it will mean to have an address on Knob Hill and his connections. How much faster you’ll get to medical school and the internships... Imagine what it will do for Amanda Jane. She’ll never be the kid no one wants to sit by, who gets picked last for teams, who has to rely on what she can scrape together for her lunch.”
Tears stung her eyes because that’s exactly what she feared it would be like for Amanda Jane, but she didn’t want to be dependent on Reed, either. What if he slipped back into old behaviors? What if he— She was afraid, not just of the possibility of him, but of herself.
What if she couldn’t handle raising Amanda Jane with him without falling for him? She was setting herself up for misery.
“Why don’t you think about it for a few hours? But we don’t have much time. Judge Gunderson wanted the prenup on her desk by next week.”
She thought about Reed again. The clash between them, but the pain underneath. “Let’s get it over with. Putting it off won’t make it any easier and frankly, with Crys gone and my lack of income, I’m afraid that he’ll take her away from me if we go to court.” She sighed. “At least this way,