Saturday was a really big day for Alex, as he was spending his first night at his new home, so I carefully packed his overnight bag. He wasn’t at all apprehensive and was looking forward to sleeping in his new bed. He chose his soft toy, Simba, to take with him, which he was happy to leave there for next time. As per the timetable we were due to arrive at about 11 a.m. Adrian and Paula came with me, but they understood that we wouldn’t stay for long. Alex wanted to show Adrian his bedroom, so we popped in for a quarter of an hour only and then said goodbye. With nothing planned for the afternoon I made an impromptu visit to my parents, who were surprised and pleased to see us. We stayed for tea.
On Sunday we woke to a very light covering of snow – pretty but not deep enough to do anything with other than make footprints. The children and I went out into the garden for a while after breakfast, then had to leave to collect Alex for eleven o’clock. By the time we arrived a wintry sun sat in a cloudless sky and the snow had melted. Churchwell, their village, surrounded by countryside, was idyllic – quintessentially English, as you would see on a picture postcard – but remote. There wasn’t even a village shop. Alex was tired and kept yawning, as he and James had stayed up late. Rosemary said she’d made it clear to them that this was a treat and once Alex had moved in they would be keeping to regular bedtimes, apart from weekends, when there was no school in the morning. We all said goodbye, I put Alex’s overnight bag in the boot of the car and his family waved us off. In the car Alex told us his dad and James were going cycling now the snow had gone and he was looking forward to going with them once he’d moved in – in a little over a week’s time.
‘Great,’ I said. ‘That sounds good. Did you remember to leave Simba on your bed?’
‘Yes, but I hid him under the covers. James doesn’t have soft toys. He’s says they’re for little boys.’
I glanced at him in the mirror. ‘Alex, there is no need to feel embarrassed about taking a toy to bed with you.’ He met my gaze but didn’t reply. ‘James was nice to you, wasn’t he?’
‘Yes. We had to play what he wanted all the time, but I didn’t mind.’
Alex was used to living with other children (from being in care) and therefore had experience of sharing and taking turns, while James had been an only child, so sharing, especially at home, could be a learning curve for him.
‘You don’t always have to play what James wants,’ I said, glancing at him again in the mirror. ‘Shall I mention it to your mum?’
‘No. I can tell her if I want,’ Alex said easily. ‘She’s nice. She said if I had any problems I should tell her. But it’s not a problem.’
‘OK. See how it goes then. But remember to tell her if there is anything at all worrying you.’ It was important that Alex knew he could confide in her if necessary.
‘Yes, I will,’ he said.
School for Alex the following week was just an irritating interruption in between the times he saw his family or spoke to them on the phone. They dominated his thoughts and conversation as he eagerly awaited the next time he could see or speak to them. And when he wasn’t talking about the next time he would see them he was reminiscing about the last time. On Monday the telephone conversation with his family was much easier and it flowed; he was talking to them for over half an hour. Then on Tuesday, straight after school, I took him to his new home for dinner. It was when I had to make a journey like this on a cold, dark evening that I really felt being a single parent. Had my husband still been living with us he would have most likely looked after Adrian and Paula so they could stay at home in the warm and have dinner rather than going out again. Thankfully, Adrian’s homework didn’t have to be given in the following day, and he was good enough not to complain about losing his evening. I think he appreciated there was little alternative.
While Alex was with his family I took Adrian and Paula to eat in the neighbouring town again, and then had to drive back along the poorly lit, unfamiliar country lanes with a frost settling. I was relieved when we were all safely home.
On Wednesday morning Alex took his overnight bag into school with him, as Rosemary would be collecting him that afternoon and taking him home. Adrian and Paula came with me to the school office that morning, as I wanted to check that the school knew of the arrangements. They did, and the school secretary suggested that Alex left his bag in the office for safekeeping. We said goodbye to him and that we would see him the next day, and he ran off happily to breakfast club. The secretary smiled.
Shortly after I’d returned home from taking Adrian to school, Debbie, who had now finished the court case she’d been attending, telephoned for an update. I said that everything was still going well. She confirmed that Rosemary would collect Alex from school again on Friday, when he would spend the weekend at his new home, and then I would collect him on Sunday afternoon. Sunday night would be his last with us, as he moved on Monday. Debbie said she’d spoken to the Head of Alex’s school, so his teacher was aware of these arrangements and that Alex would be having Monday off. She thanked me for all I was doing and said to phone if I needed anything.
With Rosemary collecting Alex from school that afternoon there was less rushing around for me as I just had Adrian to collect, although once home Alex’s absence was obvious. He hadn’t been with us for long but he was such a dear little chap and had fitted so easily into our family that it felt as if he had been with us for much longer. He would be dearly missed.
The following day, Thursday, when I collected Alex from school, he came out with his overnight bag and looked at me, slightly puzzled. ‘Where’s Mum?’ he asked.
‘She’s at her house. Did you think she was going to meet you?’ He nodded. ‘I know it’s a bit confusing, but not for much longer. You’re coming back with me tonight and then your mum will collect you tomorrow and every day after that.’
He smiled, and Paula, pleased to see him, threw her arms around him and gave him a big hug.
Jill telephoned shortly after we arrived home, having spoken to Debbie. She said they’d agreed that it would make sense if Rosemary stopped by my house on her way to collect Alex from school the following day (Friday) and took his overnight bag and also some of his other belongings, including his bike, so they didn’t have it all to move on Monday. It would also help Alex to feel more at home, as he was spending the whole weekend there. Debbie had cleared this with Rosemary and I said I’d have Alex’s belongings ready. Jill wished us a pleasant weekend, and once I’d finished talking to her I told Alex what was happening. He was very happy that his bike was going. ‘I’ll be able to ride it at the weekend,’ he said. And I felt guilty that he hadn’t had a chance to ride his bike while he’d been with me as I’d originally said, but we’d been so busy there really hadn’t been an opportunity.
When his family telephoned that evening much of his conversation with James was about riding their bikes and other things they were planning to do at the weekend: two boys on a big adventure. Edward wasn’t home from work, so just James and his mother spoke to Alex. Rosemary also spoke to me and confirmed she’d stop by around 2.30 p.m. the next day for some of Alex’s belongings.
The following morning Alex was beside himself with excitement at the thought of spending the whole weekend with his family and going for a bike ride. Adrian was looking a bit envious, so I told him that if the weather was good we would take his bike to the park.
‘Perhaps my dad could take