Sy. What do you invite Guests too? You han't Victuals enough in the House to give a Mouse a Meal.
Ra. And when you have done all these, go to the Market, and buy a Shoulder of Mutton, and get it nicely roasted: Do you hear this?
Sy. I hear more than I like to hear.
Ra. But take you Care you remember 'em all.
Sy. I shall scarce be able to remember half of 'em.
Ra. What do you stand loytering here, you idle Knave? You might have been back before now.
Sy. What one Person in the World can do all these? Truly I must wait upon him out, and attend upon him home; I'm his Swabber, his Chamberlain, his Footman, his Clerk, his Butler, his Book-keeper, his Brawl, his Errand-boy, and last of all he does not think I have Business enough upon my Hands, unless I am his Cook too.
3. Concerning Riding.
Ra. Bring me my Boots, I am to ride out.
Sy. Here they are, Sir.
Ra. You have look'd after them bravely, they are all over mouldy with lying by; I believe they han't been clean'd nor greased this twelve Months Day; they are so dry, they chap again; wipe them with a wet Cloth, and liquor them well before the Fire, and chafe them till they grow soft.
Sy. It shall be done, Sir.
Ra. Where are my Spurs?
Sy. Here they are.
Ra. Ay, here they are indeed, but all eaten up with Rust. Where is my Bridle and Saddle?
Sy. They are just by.
Ra. See that nothing is wanting or broken, or ready to break, that nothing may be a Hinderance to us, when we are upon our Journey. Run to the Sadlers, and get him to mend that Rein: When you come back, look upon the Horses Feet, and Shoes, and see if there be any Nails wanting, or loose. How lean and rough these Horses are! How often do you rub 'em down, or kemb them in a Year?
Sy. I'm sure I do it every Day?
Ra. That may be seen, I believe they have not had a bit of Victuals for three Days together.
Sy. Indeed they have, Sir.
Ra. You say so, but the Horses would tell me another Tale, if they could but speak: Though indeed their Leanness speaks loud enough.
Sy. Indeed I take all the Care in the World of 'em.
Ra. How comes it about then, that they don't look as well as you do?
Sy. Because I don't eat Hay.
Ra. You have this to do still; make ready my Portmanteau quickly.
Sy. It shall be done.
THE SCHOOL-MASTER'S ADMONITIONS
The School-master's Instructions teach a Boy Modesty, Civility, and Manners becoming his Age, in what Posture he ought to stand while he talks to his Superiors; concerning Habit, Discourse, and Behaviour at Table and in School.
The School-master and Boy.
Sch. You seem not to have been bred at Court, but in a Cow-stall; you behave yourself so clownishly. A Gentleman ought to behave himself like a Gentleman. As often or whenever any one that is your Superior speaks to you, stand strait, pull off your Hat, and look neither doggedly, surlily, saucily, malapertly, nor unsettledly, but with a staid, modest, pleasant Air in your Countenance, and a bashful Look fix'd upon the Person who speaks to you; your Feet set close one by t'other; your Hands without Action: Don't stand titter, totter, first standing upon one Foot, and then upon another, nor playing with your Fingers, biting your Lip, scratching your Head, or picking your Ears: Let your Cloaths be put on tight and neat, that your whole Dress, Air, Motion and Habit, may bespeak a modest and bashful Temper.
Bo. What if I shall try, Sir?
Ma. Do so.
Bo. Is this right?
Ma. Not quite.
Bo. Must I do so?
Ma. That's pretty well.
Bo. Must I stand so?
Ma. Ay, that's very well, remember that Posture; don't be a Prittle prattle, nor Prate apace, nor be a minding any Thing but what is said to you. If you are to make an Answer, do it in few Words, and to the Purpose, every now and then prefacing with some Title of Respect, and sometimes use a Title of Honour, and now and then make a Bow, especially when you have done speaking: Nor do you go away without asking Leave, or being bid to go: Now come let me see how you can practise this. How long have you been from Home?
Bo. Almost six Months.
Ma. You should have said, Sir.
Bo. Almost six Months, Sir.
Ma. Don't you long to see your Mother?
Bo. Yes, sometimes.
Ma. Have you a Mind to go to see her?
Bo. Yes, with your Leave, Sir.
Ma. Now you should have made a Bow; that's very well, remember to do so; when you speak, don't speak fast, stammer, or speak in your Throat, but use yourself to pronounce your Words distinctly and clearly. If you pass by any ancient Person, a Magistrate, a Minister, or Doctor, or any Person of Figure, be sure to pull off your Hat, and make your Reverence: Do the same when you pass by any sacred Place, or the Image of the Cross. When you are at a Feast, behave yourself chearfully, but always so as to remember what becomes your Age: Serve yourself last; and if any nice Bit be offer'd you, refuse it modestly; but if they press it upon you, take it, and thank the Person, and cutting off a Bit of it, offer the rest either to him that gave it you, or to him that sits next to you. If any Body drinks to you merrily, thank him, and drink moderately. If you don't care to drink, however, kiss the Cup. Look pleasantly upon him that speaks to you; and be sure not to speak till you are spoken to. If any Thing that is obscene be said, don't laugh at it, but keep your Countenance, as though you did not understand it; don't reflect on any Body, nor take place of any Body, nor boast of any Thing of your own, nor undervalue any Thing of another Bodies. Be courteous to your Companions that are your Inferiors; traduce no Body; don't be a Blab with your Tongue, and by this Means you'll get a good Character, and gain Friends without Envy. If the Entertainment shall be long, desire to be excus'd, bid much good may it do the Guests, and withdraw from Table: See that you remember these Things.
Bo. I'll do my Endeavour, Sir. Is there any Thing else you'd have me do?
Ma. Now go to your Books.
Bo. Yes, Sir.
OF VARIOUS PLAYS
The Boys sending Cocles their Messenger to their Master, get Leave to go to Play; who shews that moderate Recreations are very necessary both for Mind and Body. The Master admonishes them that they keep together at Play, &c. 1. Of playing at Stool-ball: Of chusing Partners. 2. Of playing at Bowls, the Orders of the Bowling-Green. 3. Of playing at striking a Ball through an Iron Ring. 4. Of Dancing, that they should not dance presently after Dinner: Of playing at Leap-frog: Of Running: Of Swimming.
NICHOLAS, JEROME, COCLES, the MASTER.
Nic. I have had a great Mind a good While, and this fine Weather is a great Invitation to go to Play.
Jer. These indeed invite you, but the Master don't.
Nic. We must get some Spokesman that may extort a Holiday from him.
Jer. You did very well to say extort, for you may sooner wrest Hercules's Club out of his Hands than get a Play-day from him; but Time was when Nobody lov'd Play better than he did.
Nic. That is true,