That’s precisely why I take part in seminars and other public events often these days: that gives me an opportunity to share the experience gained on my journey to myself.
That’s how, after years of anxiety and searching, I started discovering my inner master, who led me by the strings of fate all this time. Now I don’t need to look for other people’s answers. I ask myself how I can do something in the best way, and receive an immediate answer through feelings, thoughts, and senses. Today I know, that calmness, love and joy shouldn’t be looked for. Everybody has them – they’re inside.
Although, that shift was difficult to make, I found out that it’s possible through my own experience. A man can move from the state of being deep inside the material world, through situations of absolute despair, spiritual and moral crises and achieve inner and outer harmony.
I moved towards myself, to my true heart, by different paths. I made mistakes, got into dead ends, lost my path, lost and regained the meaning of life. And all that for one reason: to be sure I’m living my life, and that it’s only mine.
I got that in time: you shouldn’t sit in the shadow of another person, however great they are. You should find the light inside your own soul, discover your source of sunny, living energy, and shine as only you can.
Right, that wasn’t easy. But my destiny is to become the inner Master for myself. Of course, at first, while your mind is awakening, the Teacher helps you take your first steps, leading you. Gradually, you start doing that on your own. And after that the knowledge comes that the best Master for yourself is you.
The environment where you live and develop is important, too. To go down this path power, determination and will are required. And little by little, going through all the challenges, gathering new knowledge and experience, you’ll find your unique self-sufficient personality. From that moment there is no need to seek for other sources anymore. You are the source for yourself and for others.
Before awakening, the sleeping human mind travels a long distance. Starting from the feeling of a dead end, misunderstanding and confusion, searching and finding your way, you get self-confidence and self-sufficiency. After that, and pretty fast, you’ll get a feeling of inner fullness and stability moving forward. Then, you are close to your step to the next level of consciousness, you know how to live giving and devoting yourself to others.
The main reward for the Master you become, on your path of eternal cognition is that moving forward you open and know yourself in a new way each moment. You develop, become versatile and get a new understanding of everything that there is in the world…
TODAY I KNOW: THERE IS NO END FOR THIS AWARENESS.
Pilot Babagi
With the Teacher in Jakarta
Chapter 2. Family
The story of how I met my future wife is simple. We met first in a nightclub, a friend of mine asked to give some girls a ride home. A week later I happened to bump into her in the street. We went for a walk in the city and had a casual chat. Talking with her was interesting to me. She seemed to be very young, really shy, and humble. Marina was 16 years old back then, while I was already 22.
That meeting didn’t go anywhere. The next time we met was about 5 years later. And by chance again. Once at favorite pizzeria there were no free tables, but the one where Marina was sitting with her friend. We had lunch, chatted about different stuff and, in fact, became acquainted once again. By that time, Marina had started studying at a university in the foreign language department. I asked her for help with my English studies – to find a good teacher for me. That was a good reason to exchange phone numbers!
After that we only communicated for business. However, later on we found some common interests: traveling, feelings, language studies, foreign cultures…
A couple of months later, we got to the next level of our relationships – we started, as it was called back then, becoming friends. Marina had already turned 22 years old when we went traveling together, even though I had to meet her father and promise that everything would be OK with her, putting all the responsibility on myself. It was very surprising for me, but I did everything I could, and we went to Spain.
Our relationship was developing. We were getting used to each other, and half a year after our reacquaintance, I decided to make her a proposal. I chose the same pizzeria and again, our table was the only free one.
No romance! I remember, I started our conversation by proposing to Marina that we should end our current relationship. I meant that the stage of friendship and getting to know each other was coming to its end, and it was time to take the next step, a serious one – to become husband and wife.
However, my phrase came as a shock to her, of course. At that moment the only thing my future wife heard was “… we should end”. Her eyes filled up with tears and I understood: the joke was inappropriate.
We arranged our wedding to take place on October 20th. I still remember that sunny, warm day well…
Looking back at the story of our meeting and relationship – I understand that it’s absolutely common and maybe even trivial. No “love at first sight”, no insights like “That’s it, we’ve found each other…” – Nothing close to that! Moreover, I’m pretty sure that my future wife used to look cautiously at me. Maybe I frightened her by my assertiveness, my character, and audacity. There were no thoughts about a wedding!
We didn’t see each other as the chosen ones, didn’t feel anything special, didn’t make any plans about our possible future, or make up any reasons to meet each other… There was no overthinking in our story, if I can say that. Everything went with the flow, the relationship developed in a natural way. The only thing I understood from the very beginning was that I found all the features I valued and respected in Marina. That meant, there was no need to look for anybody else, as I had the right person next to me.
There were lots of happy occasions in those days: sudden meetings, only free tables – with her at them, and so on. It seemed we were being pushed towards each other. Maybe, that was a higher power, taking care of us. We didn’t think about anything like that those days, of course.
Anyways, the result of that absolutely non-romantic story is over 14 years of happy married life with 5 kids.
Mutual expectations checklist
As many people, as many love stories. One person I know has wanted to get married for as long as I’ve known him. He’s 40 now. I asked him: “What kind of wife do you want?” And he shares a list of different requirements, regarding her appearance, hobbies, skills and thoughts. It might be that this actual checklist makes his view of possible partners narrower. It doesn’t let the Universe take care of him and bring a proper woman to his life.
On the other hand, there is a woman born on the same day who’s ready to do anything for him, and love him for many years! They have been friends for years, but they can’t make it from the “friend” stage to “relationship”, because he thinks that woman doesn’t fit the image he had in his mind. She doesn’t match the criteria he set up for a possible wife.
I look at that story and I think: “Thank God, I didn’t have such a closed mind when I met my future wife!” I just followed the call of my heart and the way which opened in front of me.
I’M SURE THAT BY HAVING MANY EXPECTATIONS AND REQUIREMENTS REGARDING YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE, YOU ARE MAKING THE MOST IMPORTANT MEETING OF YOUR LIFE IMPOSSIBLE.
OR AT LEAST POSTPONING IT FOR MANY YEARS.
None of us is ideal, for sure. Everybody