Robert’s effectiveness as a leader drew on the Wilentz family’s tradition of political leadership – Constance quipped that it was inherited, either through genes or cigar smoke. While Leon was never a politician, he also appropriated some of David’s leadership style, whether it was attention to sartorial details, a penchant for hard work and long days, or the ability to balance family and an all-encompassing job.
David and Leon continued to share a deep connection until David’s death in 1988, when those who remembered him recalled their special bond. “He didn’t mind rich people. He liked them, but the ones he really liked started out poor, like his son-in-law Leon, whom he loved,”21 said Robert Wilentz, speaking in a eulogy for his father.
Hess Corp. was fully established as Leon’s first child before he met Norma, and he spent long evenings and weekends dedicated to the company’s birth and early upbringing. At the time of their marriage, Ethel, Leon’s mother, was said to have warned Norma that “All Hess men are strong, so don’t let him get away with anything.”22 In their marriage, though, he adopted a more Wilentz-style balance of family and career.
After they wed in 1947, Norma supported his career while prevailing upon him to spend more time with their family, which at first included Constance, Norma’s daughter from her previous marriage. Their family then grew with the birth of Marlene in 1948 and John in 1954. All three were treated equally as Leon’s own children. “If you were with Marlene and Connie and John, those were his children. The fact Connie was not his biological child didn’t matter to him,” said Gutman.
Just as David Wilentz had balanced a demanding career with dinner at home each evening, Leon strove to do the same, sometimes returning to his office for long hours at night after spending time with his wife and children. Norma and Leon formed a partnership in which she was his closest, most trusted partner in navigating problems, even in business.23
“You knew when you were in their presence that they were a team and that there was a great deal of love and respect between them,” Gutman said. “She could count on Leon for being a kind of father and provider and life creator. And he could count on her for making sure she took care of all the family-related obligations and represented them well.”
As a young girl in the 1950s, Marlene said she remembered wearing her pajamas, robe, and slippers and returning to Leon’s office with him after dinner. This was before the company’s headquarters had moved to Woodbridge, and it was still based in trailers in Perth Amboy. He would let her sit at the desk of Bernie Deverin, the company’s vice president who shared an office with Leon, and play with the adding machine. Then he would nod at her, and she would get them each a bottle of Coke for a dime out of the building’s vending machine, and then they would talk while drinking the cold soda.24
The company remained in the background of the family’s activities, with Hess corporate values and Hess family values of philanthropy, hard work, and total commitment deeply intertwined.
For his role as a father, the billionaire magnate is remembered for highly ordinary things: taking his children to the office, attending swim meets, and making a legendary fish soup at holiday celebrations – a family secret combo of the freshest catch from the New Jersey docks, for which there is no exact recipe. The family would spend every Sunday afternoon together, either driving to visit the Hesses in Loch Arbour or going to the rides, one of which was operated by Ethel Hess’s relatives. The family would also go on vacations, joining David and Lena Wilentz.
Outside of the office, Leon impressed those around him with his ability to be there for his children while still running an increasingly major company – at summer swim meets, he would arrive at the beach club just in time to see John swim, and would then get back into his car, where a driver was waiting to whisk him away. The ability to coordinate timing impeccably in an age before cell phones or text messages was perceived as unique, and created a mystique around Leon as he balanced parenting and corporate life.
Leon had a lighter side at home, too: home from college on vacation, Marlene came in to find her bed shortsheeted (a practice that involves folding the sheets in a way that the unsuspecting sleeper is unable to fully stretch out in bed). She assumed her brother John was responsible for the prank, but didn’t complain. The next night, it happened again, and she confronted John, who denied it. The third night, her bed was again shortsheeted, and the lamp from the bedside table was tucked into the sheets. “I started to plead with John to stop the torture, only to realize that the newspaper was shaking in my father’s hands and he was laughing hysterically. I couldn’t believe it – and always wondered where he learned to shortsheet a bed,” Marlene said in her reminiscences about her father.
Despite their relative privilege, his children recall a normal home life, with regular generational struggles. Constance remembers challenging his beliefs in the 1960s. He would get angry, and send his children to their rooms, but later would always come to apologize following one of his favorite lessons: “Turn the page.”25
On weekends, Leon sometimes made time to go to the Hollywood Country Club in Deal, where he had a standing 10 A.M. Sunday appointment with the pro – the spot was his whether or not he was able to go, and the pro was his main opponent, as he didn’t often play golf socially, according to club members. He would occasionally join John for a round of golf, but he never became a regular player.
Leon also made time for religion. “Leon Hess loved coming to the synagogue and participated in a major way in our endeavors. Whenever I called on him, he would say, ‘What’s on your mind, rabbi?’ The truth is, whatever the request, the result was kindness, compassion, and generosity,” said Senior Rabbi David H. Lincoln of the Park Avenue synagogue.26 The synagogue, where Ralph Lauren is a congregant, has a dress code described as “Chanel,” and membership dues that can exceed $5,000 a year per family, for those who want access to prime seating at holidays like Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.
Leon was known to be in temple for all of the high holy days on the Jewish calendar. Writer Earl Ganz tells the story of the ribbing he took from a group that included Leon and David Wilentz (who met for coffee at a back booth in the Busy Bee diner) for not knowing what tefillin were. The group ended up walking Earl to a nearby synagogue and solemnly wrapping the straps that held the small leather boxes used for morning prayers around him with a prayer shawl. “With that beard he looks more Jewish than any of us,” Leon said.27
Leon and Norma would also go to horse races at Monmouth Park, joining her parents, and ultimately bringing their children and grandchildren. One report tells of Leon betting $3 or $4 on a race and giving away the tickets. While Leon was a big supporter of the arts, including making large donations to Lincoln Center, his visits to the Metropolitan Opera were punctuated, during football season, with intermissions spent tuning in to the radio to catch sports scores.
The Hesses’ social life largely spun around Leon’s growing business network, as they entertained bankers and colleagues at home, indoctrinating their children – especially John – in the corporation’s culture and preparing John to run the rapidly expanding business.
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