Alison presents her unique and authentic message as a sought-after keynote speaker, engaging her audience with humour, practicality and real-world thinking.
Alison is a founder and director of the super-cool behaviour and motivation strategy company Pragmatic Thinking.
Dr Sean Richardson is a registered psychologist with a PhD in the psychology of excellence. He has a wealth of experience with elite sports teams, both as a high performance consultant and as a former world-class athlete. Sean has helped a number of professional sports teams go from middle of the pack to number one, and has delivered leading-edge, high-performance presentations and programs into the likes of Suncorp, Johnson & Johnson, Chrysler, ANZ, AMP and Mercedes.
A successful TEDx speaker, mentor to pro coaches and executive leaders, and facilitator for elite performing teams, Sean is known for his powerful messages on the mindsets of excellence, and delivers game-changing IP to individuals and organisations on the five sciences for building and delivering sustained high performance.
Acknowledgements
So much has happened since the release of our first edition of Dealing with the Tough Stuff. There was the cracking of bottles of champagne when we were at the top of booksellers' charts and the feeling of joy at seeing our title in various languages, but most of all our biggest thrill has been the responses from readers on email, social media or in person who have said this book has been a game changer. So our first thank you truly belongs to you: the reader. Much gratitude.
Darren wants to thank his two co-authors, Alison and Sean. Alison, you're a gift to this world. Anyone who knows you also knows what an understatement that is. It's been an amazing ride and we've got plenty of gas in the tank to go further. Richo, mate, can't wait to see you, Kate and the kids grow their roots and flourish, and the corporate world to be shifted by your quality of thinking. It's world class.
Alison wants to express her deep gratitude to her best friend and husband, Darren. Seeing the corporate world embrace your expertise and thinking, and being changed by your ability to tackle the toughest of tough stuff head-on is an inspiration. It's only the beginning too. Thanks also to our beautiful children, Patrick and Kate, with whom some of the strategies in this book have worked exceptionally well! You are our future! Sean, your passion to step up and bring your best to any project is awesome. Hanging with you makes anything seem possible.
Sean wants to thank Darren and Alison. I just dig the readiness of both of you to jump into big projects with the confidence of knowing we will get there somehow – your integrity and work ethic are nothing short of inspiring. Thank you, Darren, for being an extraordinary partner in business, inviting me to join you and Alison on ventures so dear to you, and for being such a great mate. Alison, I believe you are a quiet driver of much of our progress on this collaborative work, all while being an amazing mum. Thank you for being you. I also want to thank my team, Kate, Charlotte and Sam: your love and support make things easy and give my life meaning.
Together we would like to give special mentions – in no particular order – to Rowdy McLean, Matt Church, Michael Henderson, Emma Isaacs, Peter Baines, Ross Lyon, Joe Roberts, Anthony Day, Linda Taylor, Kirsty Mitchell and Jo Robertson. You've all been such a source of inspiration to us in so many ways. Richard Harmer, again for your integrity and contribution to the rough stuff, thanks mate. Thanks to Tricia, Randall and the team at Churchill Education for your ongoing support. Jason Fox and Kim Lam: you have no idea how much your creative living inspires us to continue to make great work. Of course, Jen and Dougz at Jaxzyn Design for your counsel on cover and graphics, a huge thanks. We'll never forget Sandra Butcher and Anna Morgan, our earliest champions, and we thank you for letting us loose on your organisations and laying the foundation of the Tough Stuff. Lucy Raymond, again, you're so damn lovely! Even when we are ridiculously slack in getting back to you, you still know how to give us a dressing down, and you are so lovely. It's a skill! Thank you also to the professional team at John Wiley & Sons, who have not only been a joy to work with but have been a wonderful help in making this book a reality, and a special thanks to Sandra Balonyi, our editor, who was a delight to work with.
To all of you who are at the forefront of the tough conversations at work, thank you for having the courage and desire to want to tackle these situations. The world needs your leadership and we admire you for what you step up and do every single day.
Introduction
If you were to sit down and list all the tasks, skills and abilities of a leader of note, the ability to establish a meaningful conversation would have to be among the highest ranked responses.
Interestingly, though, it isn't the ability to have meaningful conversations in the good times that defines a leader; it's the ability to have a meaningful conversation at the worst of times. It's having the key conversations at key times that makes a leader truly worth following.
It is inevitable that as a leader or manager you will face conversations that are less than great. These are the conversations we simply label as the Tough Stuff. And the Tough Stuff is different for everyone. For some it is the underperformance discussion with an employee; for others it is the conversation with an excellent worker who has stepped over the line in one area. It could be the termination discussion, or it could be the first conversation with a new graduate who has messed up. It could be any one of a thousand scenarios, but the common denominator is this: all of these discussions are tough, some more than others.
It is a simple fact: the difference-makers in any organisation are its leaders and managers. Our job description at Pragmatic Thinking is an awesome one: to make a difference to these difference-makers. Our profession sees us leap out of bed in the morning, excited to start another day – we are so passionate about working with, educating and mentoring this highly influential group of hard-working people.
So what is the area we've spent the most time on, and where we've achieved the biggest results? Helping the difference-makers deal with the tough stuff.
The ability of the difference-makers to have an unenviable, yet completely necessary, conversation is at an all-time low. Most have been shockingly under-coached in what is undoubtedly one of the most important skills any leader must possess: the ability to handle a crisis.
So, if you're one of the difference-makers, a leader or manager in your place of work, there is good news. We're here to help. We believe the processes, actions and methods described in this book will fundamentally change how you deal with the tough stuff. They will make your life easier, and you will achieve better outcomes from your team as a result. Our expectations are high, and for good reason: the information in this book is reliable and valid because it has been delivered to thousands of difference-makers just like you.
Between us, we've had more than five decades of witnessing various levels of dysfunction in the workplace and we've seen common and uncommon examples of conflict handled both well and very poorly.
We can assure you the strategies and approaches we present in this book work. In fact, we guarantee it 100 per cent. All the elements of the strategies are tried and tested via a better testing process than any statistical analytics program: they have been shown to be robust through good, old-fashioned practical application. People put into place these strategies and their ability to handle the tough stuff gets easier.
Our 100 per cent guarantee is taken off the table if you don't have one thing in place. The success of a workable outcome rests on one foundational principle: the belief that all people are good.
We're challenged every day in relation to this belief by reports in newspapers or on television, and occasionally we come across someone who confronts us with a set