How to Work with and Lead People Not Like You
Copyright © 2017 by Kelly McDonald. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.
Published simultaneously in Canada.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at www.wiley.com/go/permissions.
Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for damages arising herefrom.
For general information about our other products and services, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762-2974, outside the United States at (317) 572-3993 or fax (317) 572-4002.
Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com. For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: McDonald, Kelly, 1961- author.
Title: How to work with and lead people not like you: practical solutions for today’s diverse workplace / by Kelly McDonald.
Description: Hoboken, New Jersey: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., [2017] | Includes index. |
Identifiers: LCCN 2017015263 (print) | LCCN 2017030860 (ebook) | ISBN 9781119369974 (pdf) | ISBN 9781119369967 (epub) | ISBN 9781119369950 (cloth)
Subjects: LCSH: Diversity in the workplace–Management. | Management–Cross–cultural studies. | Intercultural communication.
Classification: LCC HF5549.5.M5 (ebook) | LCC HF5549.5.M5 M425 2017 (print) | DDC 658.3008–dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017015263
Cover Design: Wiley
Acknowledgments
This is my third book and it was, by far, the most challenging to write. There are people in my life who understood this and helped me, in ways big and small. Some believed in this book when it was nothing more than a title. Some of the people who helped me with this book are people I have not even met, though I hope to someday. They contributed their stories, insights and experiences because they believe that when we work together with people who are not like us, we become better. I believe this with all my heart, and I am inspired that so many others feel the same.
To say “thank you” feels inadequate. But I shall say it anyway, with the hope that the people mentioned here know that I could not have written this book without them. From specific help with the content, to reading drafts of chapters and providing feedback, to support and love and patience during the process of writing, this book was shaped by dozens of people, and I will never be able to repay all that I was given.
To my editor, Richard Narramore, for understanding “why this book” and “why this book now.” For the steady guidance you provide that results in clarity and renewed enthusiasm. For understanding just how hard this one was for me and why. Your words to me on a phone call in early January gave me purpose when I was convinced I was in over my head. Thank you for turning doubt and insecurity into something positive and productive. I am grateful that out of all the editors in the world, you're mine.
To the entire team at John Wiley & Sons, who work to bring us good business books that foster growth, productivity, and better business practices. Thank you for supporting my view of diversity and believing in its power as a business tool.
To Sally, for without your help this book would not exist. I know it's a cliché, but it's true. The hundreds of hours you spent researching, reading, brainstorming, and assisting made this book possible. You are truly one of the smartest, coolest, best people on the planet. March on.
To John, for hanging in there and doing this with me – again. Thanks for all your help, support, and thoughtful feedback on the chapters as they unfolded.
To Adam and Diana Fitzgerald, for always coming through for me, no matter how late the hour or how inconvenient. Adam, you've supported me forever, it seems – and now with Diana, I feel I have Batman and Robin on my team.
To Kenja Purkey, for providing articles, insights, and advice at the beginning, the middle, and the end. For always being there. For being game for anything, anytime. For knowing me and still liking me.
To Pam Atherton, for keeping me current on every relevant news article and issue and sending a snarky or hilarious meme or text every 48 hours or so. Please don't ever stop doing that.
To Jennifer Martin, who, despite months of not talking, always understands and is there for me when I finally come to the surface. And to Joe Martin and Jake Martin, my “other family members.” I love you.
To Somir Paul, for showing me what true leadership looks like. Thank you for your help and insights and for making time for me, even when you're on vacation and we are 16‐hour time zones apart.
To Gillian Power, for awareness, for strength, and the willingness to share.
To Tim Bennett, my friend and hero, for teaching and preaching diversity long before anyone else. And for supporting me and my books, every step of the way. I adore you, Tim!
To Karen Nelson, for being my “mom” growing up and my friend now. For showing me what unconditional love really is. For being one of the all‐time best human beings I have ever known.
To the entire team at SpeakersOffice, for believing in me and my message and helping to get that message out to audiences everywhere. Michele, Sassy Cassie, Kim, Jenny: I know I'm a handful, but I'm your handful. Thanks for putting up with me. And to Holli, for finding me in the first place.
To Jayne Millard, for sharing your experience and insights with me. I hope we get to meet face‐to‐face someday.
To Rob Neilson, for sharing your story and the “eight steps.” Thank you for making the book better.
To Randi. You're the only sister I'll ever have and the only one I want or need. Thank you for letting me back into your life.
To Becky Carron, for seeing the value of this journey all those years ago – and for seeing the value in me as a person.
To