NORTH.
Near Orain-imali-chauan-mala-chuilish?
TALBOYS.
I eyed him where he lay – not without anger. It had manifestly been a wilful act – he had torn himself from my grasp – and now he kept looking at me – at safe distance as he thought – like a wild animal suddenly undomesticated – and escaped into his native liberty. If he had sailed before the wind – why might not I? No need to stalk him – so I went at him right in front – but such another flounder! Then, sir, I first knew fatigue.
NORTH.
"So eagerly The Fiend
O'er bog, or steep, through strait, rough, dense, or rare,
With head, hands, wings, or feet pursues his way,
And swims, or sinks, or wades, or creeps, or flies."
TALBOYS.
Finally I reached him – closed on him – when Eolus, or Eurus, or Notus, or Favonius – for all the heathen wind-gods were abroad – inflated him, and away he flew – rustling like a dragon-fly – and zig-zagging all fiery-green in the gloom – sat down – as composedly as you would yourself, sir – on a knoll, in another region – engirdled with young birch-groves – as beautiful a resting-place, I must acknowledge as, after a lyrical flight, could have been selected for repose by Mr Wordsworth.
NORTH.
I know it – Arash-alaba-chalin-ora-begota-la-chona-hurie. Archy will go for it in the evening – all safe. But do go and put on dry clothes. What now, Billy?
BILLY BALMER.
Here are Mr Talboys' trunk, sir.
NORTH.
Who brought it?
BILLY.
Nea, Maister – I dan't kna' – I s'pose Carrier. I ken't reet weell – ance at Windermere-watter.
NORTH.
Swiss Giantess – Billy.
BILLY.
Ay – ay – sir.
NORTH.
You will find the Swiss Giantess as complete a dormitory as man can desire, Talboys. I reserve it for myself, in event of rheumatism. Though lined with velvet, it is always cool – ventilated on a new principle – of which I took merely a hint from the Punka. My cot hangs in what used to be the Exhibition-room – and her Retreat is now a commodious Dressing-room. Billy, show Mr Talboys to the Swiss Giantess.
BILLY.
Ay – ay, sir. This way, Mr Talboy – this way, sir.
TALBOYS.
What is your dinner-hour, Mr North?
NORTH.
Sharp seven – seven sharp.
TALBOYS.
And now 'tis but half-past two. Four hours for work. The Cladich – or whatever you call him – is rumbling disorderly in the wood; and I noted, as I crossed the bridge, that he was proud as a piper of being in Spate – but he looks more rational down in yonder meadows – and – heaven have mercy on me! there's Loch Awe!!
NORTH.
I thought it queer that you never looked at it.
TALBOYS.
Looked at it? How could I look at it? I don't believe it was there. If it was – from the hill-top I had eyes but for the Camp – the Tents and the Trees – and "Thee the spirit of them all!" Let me have another eye-full – another soul-full of the Loch. But 'twill never do to be losing time in this way. Where's my creel – where's my creel?
NORTH.
On your shoulders —
TALBOYS.
And my Book? Lost – lost – lost! Not in any one of all my pockets. I shall go mad.
NORTH.
Not far to go. Why your Book's in your hand.
TALBOYS.
At eight?
NORTH.
Seven. Archy, follow him – In that state of excitement he will be walking with his spectacles on over some precipice. Keep your eye on him, Archy —
ARCHY.
I can pretend to be carrying the landing-net, sir.
NORTH.
There's a specimen of a Scottish Lawyer, gentlemen. What do you think of him?
BULLER.
That he is without exception the most agreeable fellow, at first sight, I ever met in my life.
NORTH.
And so you would continue to think him, were you to see him twice a-week for twenty years. But he is far more than that – though, as the world goes, that is much: his mind is steel to the back-bone – his heart is sound as his lungs – his talents great – in literature, had he liked it, he might have excelled; but he has wisely chosen a better Profession – and his character now stands high as a Lawyer and a Judge. Yonder he goes! As fresh as a kitten after a score and three quarter miles at the least.
BULLER.
Seward – let's after him. Billy – the minnows.
BILLY.
Here's the Can, sirs.
Scene closes.
Scene II.
Interior of Deeside.– Time – Seven p. m.
North – Talboys – Buller – Seward.
NORTH.
Seward, face Buller. Talboys, face North. Fall too, gentlemen; to-day we dispense with regular service. Each man has his own distinct dinner before him, or in the immediate vicinity – soup, fish, flesh, fowl – and with all necessary accompaniments and sequences. How do you like the arrangement of the table, Talboys?
TALBOYS.
The principle shows a profound knowledge of human nature, sir. In theory, self-love and social are the same – but in practice, self-love looks to your own plate – social to your neighbours. By this felicitous multiplication of dinners – this One in Four – this Four in One – the harmony of the moral system is preserved – and all works together for the general good. Looked at artistically, we have here what the Germans and others say is essential to the beautiful and the sublime – Unity.
NORTH.
I believe the Four Dinners – if weighed separately – would be found not to differ by a pound. This man's fish might prove in the scale a few ounces heavier than that man's – but in such case, his fowl would be found just so many ounces lighter. And so on. The Puddings are cast in the same mould – and things equal to the same thing, are equal to one another.
TALBOYS.
The weight of each repast?
NORTH.
Calculated at twenty-five pounds.
TALBOYS.
Grand total, one hundred. The golden mean.
NORTH.
From these general views, to descend to particulars. Soup (turtle) two pounds – Hotch, ditto – Fish (Trout) two pounds – Flesh, (Jigot – black face five-year-old,) six pounds – Fowl (Howtowdie boiled) five pounds – Duck, (wild) three pounds – Tart (gooseberry) one pound – Pud (Variorum Edition) two pounds.
BULLER.
That is but twenty-three, sir! I have taken down the gentleman's words.
NORTH.
Polite