Which house you should be in…
Rose Granger-Weasley.
He puts his hat on ROSE’s head.
GRYFFINDOR!
There’s cheering from the Gryffindors as ROSE joins them.
ROSE
Thank Dumbledore.
SCORPIUS runs to take ROSE’s place under the SORTING HAT’s glare.
SORTING HAT
Scorpius Malfoy.
He puts his hat on SCORPIUS’s head.
SLYTHERIN!
SCORPIUS was expecting this, he nods and half smiles. There’s cheering from the Slytherins as he joins them.
POLLY CHAPMAN
Well, that makes sense.
ALBUS walks swiftly to the front of the stage.
SORTING HAT
Albus Potter.
He puts his hat on ALBUS’s head – and this time he seems to take longer – almost like he too is confused.
SLYTHERIN!
There’s a silence.
A perfect, profound silence.
One that sits low, twists a bit and has damage within it.
POLLY CHAPMAN
Slytherin?
CRAIG BOWKER JR
Whoah! A Potter? In Slytherin.
ALBUS looks out, unsure. SCORPIUS smiles, delighted, as he shouts across to him.
SCORPIUS
You can stand next to me!
ALBUS (thoroughly discombobulated)
Right. Yes.
YANN FREDERICKS
I suppose his hair isn’t that similar.
ROSE
Albus? But this is wrong, Albus. This is not how it’s supposed to be.
And suddenly a flying lesson is happening with MADAM HOOCH.
MADAM HOOCH
Well, what are you all waiting for? Everyone stand by a broomstick. Come on, hurry up.
The kids all hurry into position beside their brooms.
Stick out your hands over your broom, and say, ‘Up!’
EVERYONE
UP!
ROSE’s and YANN’s brooms sail into their hands.
ROSE and YANN
Yes!
MADAM HOOCH
Come on now, I’ve no time for shirkers. Say ‘UP’. ‘UP’ like you mean it.
EVERYONE (bar ROSE and YANN)
UP!
Brooms sail up, including SCORPIUS’s. Only ALBUS is left with his broom on the floor.
EVERYONE (bar ROSE, YANN and ALBUS)
YES!
ALBUS
Up. UP. UP.
His broom doesn’t move. Not even a millimetre. He stares at it with disbelieving desperation. There’s giggling from the rest of the class.
POLLY CHAPMAN
Oh Merlin’s beard, how humiliating! He really isn’t like his father at all, is he?
KARL JENKINS
Albus Potter, the Slytherin Squib.
MADAM HOOCH
Okay. Children. Time to fly.
And suddenly HARRY appears from nowhere beside ALBUS as steam expands all over the stage. We’re back on platform nine and three-quarters and time has ticked on mercilessly. ALBUS is now a year older (as is HARRY, but less noticeably).
ALBUS
I’m just asking you, Dad, if you’ll – if you’ll just stand a little away from me.
HARRY (amused)
Second-years don’t like to be seen with their dads, is that it?
An OVER-ATTENTIVE WIZARD begins to circle them.
ALBUS
No. It’s just – you’re you and – and I’m me and—
HARRY
It’s just people looking, okay? People look. And they’re looking at me, not you.
The OVER-ATTENTIVE WIZARD proffers something for HARRY to sign – he signs it.
ALBUS
At Harry Potter and his disappointing son.
HARRY
What does that mean?
ALBUS
At Harry Potter and his Slytherin son.
JAMES rushes past them carrying his bag.
JAMES
Slythering Slytherin, stop with your dithering, time to get on to the train.
HARRY
Unnecessary, James.
JAMES (long gone)
See you at Christmas, Dad.
HARRY looks at ALBUS, concerned.
HARRY
Al—
ALBUS
My name is Albus, not Al.
HARRY
Are the other kids being unkind? Is that it? Maybe if you tried making a few more friends – without Hermione and Ron I wouldn’t have survived Hogwarts, I wouldn’t have survived at all.
ALBUS
But I don’t need a Ron and Hermione – I’ve – I’ve got a friend, Scorpius, and I know you don’t like him but he’s all I need.
HARRY
Look, as long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters to