Nellie's Housekeeping / Little Sunbeams Series
I.
HARD AT WORK
"NELLIE, will you come down to the beach now?"
"No!" with as much shortness and sharpness as the little word of two letters could well convey.
"Why not?"
"Oh! because I can't. Don't bother me."
And, laying down the pencil with which she had been writing, Nellie Ransom pushed back the hair from her flushed, heated face, drew a long, weary sigh, took up the Bible which lay at her elbow, and, turning over the leaf, ran her finger slowly and carefully down the page before her.
Carrie stood with one elbow upon the corner of the table at which her sister sat, her chin resting in her palm as she discontentedly watched Nellie, while with the other hand she swung back and forth by one string the broad straw hat she was accustomed to wear when playing out of doors.
"I think you might," she said presently. "Mamma says I can't go if you don't, and I want to go so."
"I can't help it," said Nellie, still without taking her eyes from her Bible. "I wish you'd stop shaking the table so."
"How soon will you come?" persisted Carrie, taking her elbow from the table.
"When I'm ready, and not before," snapped Nellie. "I wish you'd let me alone."
Carrie began to cry.
"It's too bad," she whimpered. "Mamma says, if I go at all, I must go early, so as to be back before sundown, 'cause my cold is so bad. There won't be any time for me to play."
Nellie made no answer, but, having found what she wanted in her Bible, began to write again, copying from the page of the Holy Book before her.
Presently Carrie, forgetting her caution, tossed down her hat, and pettishly plumped both elbows upon the table, muttering, —
"I think you're real mean."
"Stop shaking the table, or I won't go at all," said Nellie, in a loud, irritable tone. "Ask mamma to let Ruth take you."
"She can't spare Ruth, she says. The baby is fretful, and she don't feel well enough to take care of it herself; and I think you might go with me. I haven't been to the beach for four days, because I was sick," pleaded Carrie, wiping the tears from her eyes.
"Well, I'm too busy to go now. You'll have to wait until I'm ready," said Nellie. "I'll come by and by."
"By and by will leave hardly any time," said Carrie, with a wistful glance out upon the lawn, where the shadows were already growing long.
No answer; only the rustle of Nellie's sheet of paper as she turned it over.
Carrie wandered restlessly about the room for a moment or two; then, coming back to the table, began idly to turn over some loose papers which lay at Nellie's right hand.
Nellie snatched them from her.
"Now, look here," she said, "if you don't go away and let me and my things alone, I won't go to the beach at all. You hinder me all the time, and I won't be so bothered."
"Cross, hateful thing!" said Carrie, passionately. "I don't b'lieve you mean to go at all. I wish I had a better sister than you."
Nellie turned once more to the Bible, but deigned no answer to this outburst.
Carrie looked back from the door, which she had reached on her way from the room, and said in a tone one shade less furious than her last, —
"You're always poking over your Bible now, but it don't seem to teach you to be kind. You grow crosser and crosser every day; and you're not one bit like you used to be."
"Carrie!" called Mrs. Ransom's gentle voice from the next room; and Carrie vanished, leaving Nellie, as she had said she wished to be, alone.
Did her work go smoothly after that?
Not very, at least for a few moments. Perhaps mamma had heard all that had passed, and Nellie did not feel quite satisfied that she should have done so. What had she said to Carrie? She could hardly recollect herself, so divided had been her attention between her little sister and the task before her; but she was quite certain that she had been "cross," and spoken to Carrie in an unkind manner, apart from her refusal to accompany the child, who, she well knew, had been confined to the house for the last few days, and deprived of her usual play and exercise in the open air.
But then Carrie might just as well have waited patiently a few moments till she was ready to go, and not bothered her so. She would go presently when she had looked out three – well, no – five – six more verses, and written them out; and once more she took up the Bible.
But the words before her eyes mingled themselves with those which were sounding in her ears.
"Not like she used to be! Crosser and crosser every day!"
Ah! none knew this better than Nellie herself, and yet she strove, or thought she did, against the growing evil.
Well, there was no use thinking about it now. She would finish the task she had set herself, call Carrie, make it up with her, and go to the beach.
And once more she was absorbed in her work, in spite of aching head and burning cheeks, – so absorbed that she did not heed how time was passing, did not heed that the six verses had grown into ten, until, as she was searching for the eleventh, the last golden rays of the sun fell across her paper, and, looking up quickly, she saw that he was just sinking in the far west. Too late for Carrie to go out now! The poor child had lost her afternoon stroll. Oh, she was so sorry! How could she forget?
Hastily shutting the Bible and pushing it from her, she gathered up her papers, thrust them into her writing-desk, and turned the key, ran into the hall for her hat, and went in search of Carrie.
Where was she? She had not heard the child's voice since she left her in such a temper, nor had she heard Daisy's. Probably the two little sisters had found some other way of amusing themselves, and Carrie would have forgotten her disappointment. Well, she would be sure to give her a good play on the beach to-morrow.
Where could the children be? For, as Nellie thought this to herself, she was looking in all the places where they were usually to be found, but they were nowhere to be seen. She called in vain about house and garden; no childish voice answered.
"I suppose Carrie is provoked with me, and won't speak to me, and won't let Daisy," she said to herself. "Well, I'm sure I don't care."
But she did care, though she would not acknowledge it to herself; and she sat down upon the upper step of the porch, and watched the last rosy sunset tints fading out of the soft clouds overhead, with a restless, discontented feeling at her heart. The stillness and the beauty of the scene did not seem to bring peace and rest to her troubled little soul.
And why was it troubled?
Because for days past – nay, for weeks past – Nellie had been conscious of an increasing ill-humor and irritability, – "crosser and crosser every day," – yes, that was it; but why was it? She did not know, she could not help it; she was sure she tried hard enough; and every night and morning, when she said her prayers and asked not to be "led into temptation," she always thought particularly of the temptation to be cross, for that seemed what she had to struggle with in these days.
That, and one other thing.
Nellie tried to put that other ugly failing out of sight, would not believe that she was guilty of it; and yet it would come before her sometimes, as it did now; and as she thought of little kindnesses, even little duties unperformed and neglected, she wondered if she were really growing selfish.
She should so hate to be selfish.
And yet – and yet – people were always asking her to do favors at such inconvenient times, when she was so busy; and somehow she was always busy now. There was so much she wanted to do; so much to accomplish this summer, before she returned to the city and to school; and she did not like to be interrupted when she was reading or studying. It was so hard to put her mind to it again, and she was sure it was right to try to