“For what?” Rose said.
“Surviving,” Avery said with a laugh. “I know I didn’t necessarily make it easy on you.”
“You didn’t. But Dad did okay. And that’s not a dig against you.”
Avery felt a pang of sorrow.
“I know.”
Avery knew that such an admission was hard for Rose. Avery knew that her daughter was still trying to figure out the footing of their relationship. For a typical estranged mother and daughter, reconciliation was hard enough. But they had both been through hell lately. From Rose being stalked by a serial killer and moved to a safe house, to the post-traumatic stress disorder Avery was wrestling with from running to Rose’s rescue, there were mountain-sized obstacles to get over. And even something as simple as moving boxes into her daughter’s new apartment was a huge step along the way of repairing the relationship Avery so badly wanted with her.
Taking that step required some sort of normalcy – a normalcy that wasn’t always available in the world of a work-obsessed detective.
She joined Rose in the kitchen and helped her unpack the boxes labeled KITCHEN. As they worked together to unpack them, Avery felt herself close to tears again.
What the hell? When have I ever gotten this emotional?
“Do you think you’ll be okay?” Avery asked, doing what she could to keep conversation going. “This isn’t like a college dorm. You’re legitimately on your own. Are you ready for that after…well, after everything you’ve been through?”
“Yes, Mom. I’m not a little girl anymore.”
“Well, that’s very clear.”
“Besides,” she said, putting the last dish away and setting the empty box aside. “I’m not exactly alone anymore.”
And there it was. Rose had been a little distracted lately but also in a good mood, and a noticeable good mood was a rare occurrence for Rose Black. Avery had thought there might be a boy involved and that opened up a whole different can of worms that Avery wasn’t prepared to deal with. She’d missed the period talk with Rose, missed details of her first crush, first dance, and first kiss. Now that she was faced with the potential love life of her eighteen-year-old daughter, she understood just how much she had missed.
“What do you mean?” Avery asked.
Rose bit at her lip, as if she regretted having said anything.
“I…well, I might have met someone.”
She said it casually and a bit dismissively, making it clear that she had no interest in talking about it.
“Oh yeah?” Avery asked. “When was this?”
“About a month ago,” Rose said.
Exactly the amount of time I’ve been noticing her better moods, Avery thought. Sometimes it was eerie how her detective skills overlaid her personal life.
“But…he’s not living here, is he?” Rose asked.
“No, Mom. But he might be here a lot.”
“That’s not the sort of thing the mother of an eighteen-year-old wants to hear,” Avery said.
“God, Mom. It’ll be okay.”
Avery knew she should leave it alone. If Rose wanted to talk to her about this guy, she’d do it on her own time. Pressuring her would only make it worse.
But again, her work instinct took over and she couldn’t help herself from asking more questions.
“Can I meet him?”
“Um, absolutely not. Not yet, anyway.”
Avery sensed the opportunity to go deeper into the conversation – the awkward conversation about protected sex and the risk of diseases and teenage pregnancy. But she almost felt like she didn’t have that right, given their strained relationship.
Being a Homicide detective, though, it was impossible not to worry. She knew the caliber of men out there. She had seen not just murders but severe domestic abuse cases. And while this guy in Rose’s life might be a perfect gentleman, it was much easier for Rose to assume that he was a threat.
At some point, though, didn’t she have to trust her daughter’s instincts? Hadn’t she just complimented Rose on how well she had turned out despite her upbringing?
“Just be careful,” Avery said.
Rose was clearly embarrassed. She rolled her eyes and started unpacking DVDs in the small living room that joined the kitchen.
“What about you?” Rose asked. “Don’t you ever get tired of being alone? You know…Dad’s still alone, too.”
“I’m aware of that,” Avery said. “But that’s none of my business.”
“He’s your ex-husband,” Rose pointed out. “And he’s my father. So yeah, he sort of is your business. It might do you some good to see him.”
“That wouldn’t be good for either of us,” Avery replied. “If you’d ask him, I’m sure he’d tell you the same thing.”
Avery knew this was true. While they had never talked about getting back together, there was an unspoken agreement between them – something they’d felt in the air ever since she’d lost her job as an attorney and had basically ruined her life in the weeks that followed. They would tolerate one another for Rose. Although there were mutual feelings of love and respect there, they both knew there would be no getting back together. Jack was only worried about the same thing she was worried about. He wanted Avery spending more time with Rose. And it was up to her to figure out how to do that. She’d spent time coming up with a plan over the last few weeks and although it would require sacrifice on her part, she was ready to try.
Sensing that the touchy topic of Jack was already passing over like a storm cloud, Avery tried broaching the topic of that sacrifice. There was no way to subtly get to it, so she just came out and said it.
“I was thinking about maybe asking for a lighter workload for the next few months. I figured you and I should really give things a real chance.”
Rose paused for a minute. She looked taken aback, genuinely surprised. She gave a little nod of acknowledgment and went back to unpacking. She made a little hmmph sound.
“What?” Avery asked.
“But you love your work.”
“I do,” Avery agreed. “But I’ve been thinking of transferring out of Homicide. If I did that, my schedule would be freed up a bit.”
Rose now stopped unpacking completely. A range of expressions crossed her face in the space of a second. Avery was pleased to see that one looked very much like hope.
“Mom, you don’t have to do that.” Her voice was soft and unguarded, almost like the little girl Avery could easily remember. “That’s like uprooting your life.”
“No it’s not. I’m getting older and realizing that I missed out on a lot of family stuff. It’s what I need to do to move on…to get better.”
Rose sat down on the couch, littered with boxes and stray clothes. She looked up to Avery, that gleam of hope still on her face.
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” she asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Also,” Rose said, “I see where I get my awesome ability to swerve subjects. You hopped off of being alone all the time pretty quickly.”
“You noticed that, did you?”
“I did. And to be honest, I think Dad has, too.”
“Rose – ”
Rose turned to her.
“He