Riley watched from the doorway as Ryan gently stroked his daughter’s hair, and April closed her eyes and relaxed. It was a touching sight.
When did things go so wrong? she wondered.
She found herself wishing she could turn back time to some crucial moment when she’d made some terrible mistake, and do everything differently so that all this would never have happened. She felt pretty sure that Ryan was thinking much the same thing.
It was an ironic thought, and she knew it. The killer she had taken down the day before yesterday had been obsessed with clocks, posing and arranging his victims like hands on a clock face. And now here she was, with her own yearnings about time.
If only I could have kept Peterson away from her, she thought with a shudder.
Like Riley, April had been caged and tormented by that sadistic monster and his propane torch. The poor girl had been struggling with PTSD ever since.
But the truth was, Riley knew that the problem went back further than that.
Maybe if Ryan and I had never gotten divorced, she mused.
But how could that have been avoided? Ryan had been distant and disengaged both as a husband and a father, aside from being a philanderer. Not that she held him solely to blame. She’d made her own share of mistakes. She’d never struck the right balance between her FBI work and being a mother. And she’d not seen a lot of the warning signs that April was headed for trouble.
Her sadness deepened. No, she couldn’t think of one particular moment when she could have changed everything. Her life had been too full of mistakes and missed opportunities. Besides, she knew perfectly well that she couldn’t turn back time. There was no point in yearning for the impossible.
Her phone rang, and she stepped out into the hallway again. Her heart beat faster when she saw that the call was from Garrett Holbrook, the FBI agent who had taken on the search for Jilly.
“Garrett!” she said, taking the call. “What’s going on?”
Garrett answered in his characteristic monotone.
“I’ve got good news.”
Riley immediately started to breathe easier.
“The cops picked her up,” Garrett said. “She’d been on the street all night without money or anywhere to go. She got caught shoplifting at a convenience store. I’m with her at the police station right now. I’ll post bail, but …”
Garrett stopped. Riley didn’t like the sound of that word, “but.”
“Maybe I should let her talk to you,” he said.
A few seconds later, Riley heard the familiar sound of Jilly’s voice.
“Hey, Riley.”
Now that Riley’s panic was ebbing away, she was starting to get mad.
“Don’t ‘hey’ me. What did you think you were doing, running off like that?”
“I’m not going back there,” Jilly said.
“Yes, you are.”
“Please don’t make me go back there.”
Riley didn’t reply for a moment. She didn’t know what to say. She knew that the shelter where Jilly had been staying was a good, nurturing place. Riley had gotten to know some of the staff, who had been very helpful.
But Riley also understood how Jilly felt. The last time they’d talked together, Jilly had complained that nobody wanted her, that foster parents kept passing her over.
“They don’t like my past,” Jilly had said.
That conversation had ended badly, with Jilly in tears begging for Riley to adopt her. Riley had been unable to explain the thousand reasons why that was impossible. She hoped this conversation wasn’t going to end the same way.
Before Riley could think of what to say, Jilly said, “Your friend wants to talk to you.”
Riley heard Garrett Holbrook’s voice again.
“She keeps saying that – she won’t go back to the shelter. But I’ve got an idea. One of my sisters, Bonnie, is thinking of adopting. I’m sure that she and her husband would love to have Jilly. That is, if Jilly – ”
He was interrupted by squeals of delight from Jilly, who kept yelling, “Yes, yes, yes!” over and over again.
Riley smiled. It was just the kind of moment she needed right now.
“Sounds like a plan, Garrett,” she said. “Let me know how it works out. Thanks so much for all your help.”
“Any time,” Garrett said.
They ended the phone call. Riley stepped back into the doorway and saw that Ryan and April were now carrying on what seemed to be a carefree conversation. Things suddenly seemed so much better. For all of her failings, and Ryan’s too, they’d given April a much better life than many other kids had.
Just then she felt a hand on her shoulder and heard a voice.
“Riley.”
She turned and saw Bill’s friendly face. As she stepped away from the doorway to talk with him, Riley couldn’t help glancing back and forth from her longtime partner to her ex-husband. Even in his current state of distress, Ryan looked like the successful lawyer that he was. His blond good looks and smooth manners opened doors for him everywhere. Bill, as she had often realized, looked more like she did. His dark hair showed touches of gray and he was more solid and much more rumpled than Ryan. But Bill was competent in his own areas of expertise and he had been much more dependable in her life.
“How’s she doing?” Bill asked.
“Better. What’s going on with Joel Lambert?”
Bill shook his head.
“That little thug really is a piece of work,” he said. “He’s talking, anyway. He says he knows some guys who made a lot of money off of young girls, and he thought he’d give it a try himself. No signs of remorse, he’s a sociopath to the bone. Anyway, he’ll definitely be convicted and get jail time. He’ll probably do a plea deal, though.”
Riley frowned. She hated plea deals. And this one was especially upsetting.
“I know how you feel about that,” Bill said. “But my guess is he’ll talk up a storm, and we’ll be able to put a lot of bastards away. That’s a good thing.”
Riley nodded. It helped to know that some good was going to come out of this terrible ordeal. But there was something she needed to talk about with Bill, and she wasn’t sure how to say it.
“Bill, about my coming back to work …”
Bill patted her on the shoulder.
“You don’t have to tell me,” he said. “You can’t work cases for a while. You need to take some time off. Don’t worry, I understand. So will everybody at Quantico. Take as much time as you need.”
He looked at his watch.
“I’m sorry to rush off, but – ”
“Go,” Riley said. “And thanks for everything.”
She hugged Bill, and he left. Riley stood in the hallway, thinking about the near future.
“Take as much time as you need,” Bill had said.
That might not be easy. What had just happened to April was a reminder of all the evil that was out there. It was her job to stop as much of it as she could. And if she’d learned one thing in life, it was that the evil never rested.
CHAPTER TWO
Seven weeks later
When Riley arrived at the psychologist’s office, she found Ryan sitting alone in the waiting room.
“Where’s