Why the Brain "Enjoys" Submission
When you relinquish control and allow yourself to submit, your brain begins to function differently. This state, often viewed as weakness or loss of freedom, actually triggers complex neurochemical processes that bring a deep sense of calm and pleasure. Submission is not a defeat but a path to restoring inner balance, allowing the brain to reduce tension, activate areas responsible for trust and pleasure, and gain emotional clarity.
Biologically, it all starts with hormones. Oxytocin, the hormone of trust and closeness, plays a key role in this process. When you let go of control and allow someone else to take responsibility, the brain releases oxytocin, helping you feel safe. This hormone reduces the activity of the amygdala – the part of the brain that triggers anxiety responses. You no longer fear judgment or losing yourself. Instead, you feel anxiety recede, replaced by relaxation and acceptance.
This process is closely linked to dopamine – the hormone of reward. Submission is perceived by the brain as relief: you lift the burden of constant management, and the dopamine system rewards you with a sense of satisfaction. Research from the Journal of Neuroscience (2019) shows that dopamine levels increase by 20-25% when a person consciously assumes a submissive role, especially if it involves trust and mutual agreement. At the same time, cortisol levels – the stress hormone – drop by 30%, allowing the body and mind to recover.
But why does this happen? Constantly striving to keep everything under control is exhausting. The brain spends enormous energy analyzing, predicting, and dealing with uncertainties. When you release this load, the parasympathetic nervous system, responsible for relaxation and recovery, activates. You no longer expend resources fighting the world. Instead, you find a point of calm where you can simply be.
Submission also has deep evolutionary roots. In ancient communities, the ability to submit to more experienced or stronger members of the group helped ensure survival. This reduced the risk of conflicts, strengthened social bonds, and provided protection. These mechanisms are embedded in neural circuits, making submission not only an adaptive strategy but also a source of biological pleasure. The brain perceives submission as a way to reduce threat, enhancing feelings of safety and belonging.
In trusting relationships, this effect is amplified. When you consciously allow another person to take on the role of leader, you don’t lose yourself but instead enrich your emotional experience. Oxytocin helps you establish connection, and dopamine enhances the joy of releasing tension. Instead of fighting for control, you begin to delve into your feelings, becoming more open and receptive to the present moment.
Submission is not a rejection of freedom but a new aspect of it. It allows you to let go of the illusion of total control and trust the process. This state enhances your mindfulness, helping you better understand your desires, fears, and boundaries. You no longer expend energy battling the situation but find points of harmony within it.
This is why the brain "enjoys" submission. This state reduces stress levels, activates pleasure centers, and creates deep emotional connections – with yourself, another person, or a situation. It is not weakness but a way to release unnecessary burdens, restore strength, and feel part of something greater. In submission, there is no defeat, only freedom to be yourself.
Testosterone and Oxytocin: Who Dominates Whom?
When it comes to testosterone and oxytocin, it might seem like these two hormones represent opposite poles of human nature. One symbolizes power, the drive for dominance, and victory; the other – care, attachment, and trust. However, the reality is much more complex. Instead of being antagonists, testosterone and oxytocin work together, creating a balance between strength and empathy, which makes power not destructive but conscious and creative.
Testosterone, often referred to as the hormone of male strength, is present in both men and women. It stimulates the drive for leadership, the desire to take responsibility, and the willingness to overcome challenges. Increased levels of testosterone enhance the activity of the prefrontal cortex and amygdala, providing feelings of confidence, motivation, and determination. You feel ready to manage and win.
But testosterone has a downside. When its levels become too high, it can amplify aggression, impulsivity, and risk-taking tendencies. Without the balancing influence of other hormones, such as oxytocin, testosterone turns power into a tool of suppression rather than creation. This explains why excessive "hormonal power" often leads to conflict and destruction if not channeled constructively.
This is where oxytocin, known as the "trust hormone," comes into play. It acts very differently, fostering connection and care. When oxytocin levels rise, the activity of the amygdala, associated with anxiety, decreases. You become calmer, more empathetic, and open. This hormone helps transform power from an act of suppression into a tool of support, where leadership is built on trust rather than fear.
However, oxytocin is not only important for those who follow. Leaders with high levels of oxytocin use their power differently. They become mentors and inspirers rather than dictators. Studies from Social Neuroscience (2018) show that high oxytocin levels reduce the likelihood of aggressive behavior by 40%, even when testosterone levels remain high. This creates a more balanced leadership style where power is used for creation rather than destruction.
At first glance, these two hormones may seem like opposites, but in reality, they work together. Testosterone provides the energy for action, while oxytocin gives direction to that energy. Together, they create harmony where the pursuit of power is complemented by empathy and care. This balance makes leadership not only effective but also sustainable because it is built on mutual trust and respect.
Scientific data confirm the importance of this harmony. According to research published in the Journal of Behavioral Endocrinology (2020), a combination of high testosterone and high oxytocin increases the likelihood of successful leadership by 45% and reduces conflicts by 30%. This proves that the true strength of power lies not in its harshness but in its ability to combine motivation with empathy.
Ultimately, testosterone and oxytocin are not rivals but partners. They help make power conscious rather than destructive, controlled rather than despotic. True strength arises from their interaction: testosterone pushes for action, while oxytocin guides it, helping you see not only your goals but also the needs of those around you. Power built on this harmony becomes not an act of dominance but an art of creation.
Euphoria Through Trust: How Power Triggers Endorphins
When you assume power, your brain begins to function as if it has received a reward signal. This state is not just about control or responsibility – it’s about euphoria born from within. Dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin create a unique chemical reaction, turning management into a process that brings pleasure. However, the key to this state is trust: in yourself and in those around you. It is trust that makes power not only effective but also harmonious.
Dopamine, the hormone of motivation, triggers a chain reaction of pleasure. Every successful step – making a decision, completing a complex task, achieving a goal – activates the dopamine system, which enhances confidence and joy from your actions. Simultaneously, endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers, are released. They reduce stress and tension, creating a sense of ease. It’s like an internal reward mechanism: your brain literally tells you, "Keep going, you’re doing well."
But the most interesting part begins when oxytocin, the hormone of trust and attachment, comes into play. It makes power less aggressive and more empathetic. When you trust yourself or the people around you, oxytocin levels rise, decreasing the activity of the amygdala, the anxiety center of the brain. You stop perceiving power as an endless struggle for control and start feeling safe, allowing you to focus on creation.
Scientific data confirm that such power works much better. Studies from Psychological Science (2020) show that in situations where management was built on trust, leaders’ endorphin