I don’t have the answer.
I turn, and kneel, and look into her eyes. I need to give her hope. Something to live for.
“It ends in a beautiful place,” I say. “Where we’re going, everything is good again. The streets are so clean that they shine, and everything is perfect and safe. There will be people there, friendly people, and they will take us in and protect us. There will be food, too, real food, all you can eat, all the time. It will be the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen.”
Rose’s eyes open wide.
“Is that true?” she asks.
I nod. Slowly, she breaks into a wide smile.
“How long until we make it there?”
I smile. “I don’t know sweetheart.”
Bree, though, is more cynical than Rose.
“Is that really true?” she asks, softly. “Is there really such a place?”
“It is,” I say to her, trying my best to sound convincing. “Isn’t that true, Logan?”
Logan looks over, nods at them briefly, then looks away. He is the one, after all, that believes in Canada, believes in a promised land. How can he deny it now?
The Hudson twists and turns, getting more narrow, then widening again. Finally, we enter familiar territory. We race past places I recognize, getting closer and closer to dad’s house.
We turn another bank, and I see a small, uninhabited island, just a rocky outcropping. On it sits the remains of a lighthouse, its light long shattered, its structure hardly more than a façade.
We turn another bend in the river and in the distance I spot the bridge I’d been on just days before, when chasing after the slaverunners. There, in the middle of the bridge, I see the center blown out, the huge hole, as if a wrecking ball had been dropped through the middle. I flash back to when Ben and I raced across it in the motorcycle and nearly skidded into it. I can’t believe it. We’re almost there.
This makes me think of Ben, makes me remember how he saved my life that day. I turn and look at him. He stares into the water, morose.
“Ben?” I ask.
He turns and looks at me.
“Remember that bridge?”
He turns and looks, and I see fear in his eyes. He remembers.
Bree elbows me. “Is it okay if I give Penelope some of my cookie?” she asks.
“Me, too?” Rose echoes.
“Sure it is,” I say loudly, so Logan can hear. He’s not the only one in charge here, and we can do with our food as we wish.
The dog, in Rose’s lap, perks up, as if she understands. It is incredible. I have never seen such a smart animal.
Bree leans in to feed her a piece of her cookie, but I stop her hand.
“Wait,” I say. “If you’re going to feed her, she should have a name, shouldn’t she?”
“But she has no collar,” Rose says. “Her name could be anything.”
“She’s your dog now,” I say. “Give her a new one.”
Rose and Bree exchange an excited glance.
“What should we call her?” Bree asks.
“How about Penelope?” Rose says.
“Penelope!” Bree screams. “I like that.”
“I like it, too,” I say.
“Penelope!” Rose cries out to the dog.
Amazingly, the dog actually turns to her when she says it, as if that were always her name.
Bree smiles as she reaches out and feeds her a piece of cookie. Penelope snatches it out of her hands and gobbles it up in one bite. Bree and Rose giggle hysterically, and Rose feeds her the rest of her cookie. She snatches that, too, and I reach out and feed her the last bite of my cookie. Penelope looks back at all three of us excitedly, trembling, and barks three times.
We all laugh. For a moment, I nearly forget our troubles.
But then, in the distance, over Bree’s shoulder, I spot something.
“There,” I say to Logan, stepping up and pointing to our left. “That’s where we need to go. Turn there.”
I spot the peninsula where Ben and I drove off on the motorcycle, onto the ice of the Hudson. It makes me flinch to think of it, to think of how crazy that chase was. It’s amazing I’m still alive.
Logan checks over his shoulder to see if anyone is following; then, reluctantly, he eases up on the throttle and turns us off to the side, bringing us towards the inlet.
On edge, I look around warily as we reach the mouth of the peninsula. We glide beside it as it curves inland. We are so close to shore now, passing a dilapidated water tower. We continue on and soon glide alongside the ruins of a town, right into the heart of it. Catskill. There are burnt-out buildings on all sides and it looks like it’s been hit by a bomb.
We are all on edge as we make our way slowly up the inlet, getting deeper inland, the shore now feet away as it narrows. We are exposed to ambush, and I find myself unconsciously reaching down and resting my hand on my hip, on my knife. I notice Logan do the same.
I check back over my shoulder for Ben; but he is still in a nearly catatonic state.
“Where’s the truck?” Logan asks, an edge to his voice. “I’m not going too deep inland, I’ll tell you right now. If anything happens, we need to be able to get out to the Hudson, and fast. This is a death trap,” he says, warily eyeing the shore.
I eye it, too. But the shore is empty, desolate, frozen over with no humanity in sight as far as the eye can see.
“See there,” I say, pointing. “That rusted shed? It’s inside.”
Logan drives us another thirty yards or so, then turns for the shed. There is an old crumbling dock, and he’s able to pull the boat up, feet from shore. He kills the engine, grabs the anchor and throws it overboard. He then grabs the rope from the boat, makes a loose knot at one end, and throws it to a rusted metal post. It catches and he pulls us in all the way, tightening it, so we can walk onto the dock.
“Are we getting out?” Bree asks.
“I am,” I say. “Wait for me here, with the boat. It’s too dangerous for you to go. I’ll be back soon. I’ll bury Sasha. I promise.”
“No!” she screams. “You promised we would never be apart again. You promised! You can’t leave me here alone! You CAN’T!”
“I’m not leaving you alone,” I answer, my heart breaking. “You’ll be here with Logan, and Ben, and Rose. You’ll be perfectly safe. I promise.”
But Bree stands and to my surprise, she takes a running jump across the bow, and jumps onto the sandy shore, landing right in the snow.
She stands ashore, hands on her hips, glaring back at me defiantly.
“If you’re going, I’m going too,” she states.
I take a deep breath, seeing she’s resigned. I know that when she gets like this, she means it.
It will be a liability, having her, but I have to admit, a part of me feels good having her in my sight at all times. And if I try to talk her out of it, I’ll just waste more time.
“Fine,” I say. “Just stay close the entire time. Promise?”
She nods. “I promise.”
“I’m scared,” Rose says, looking over at Bree, wide-eyed. “I don’t want to leave the boat. I want to stay here, with Penelope. Is that okay?”
“I want