Owain gave me a small smile. ‘I hope you will be happy here. Remember that if ever your soul needs a little comfort, then you can find me in the chapel, or the herb garden. Or in my little dispensary which is on the other side of the chapel. You should explore the castle more, mistress. Perhaps Lord Stephen … in a quiet moment … might like to show you its beauties? More of its surprises?’
Stephen looked a little oddly at Owain at that suggestion, and I was mortified, for I thought him irritated by Owain’s presumption.
‘I am sure Lord Stephen has many more important things to occupy his day,’ I said.
‘In a quiet moment, perhaps,’ Owain said again.
‘A quiet moment it shall be,’ Stephen said. ‘Maeb, you should look to my sister, for she is halfway up the rood screen.’
I muttered to myself, cross that I had forgot all about Rosamund, and hurried to rescue her, while Stephen murmured a farewell to Owain and left the chapel.
CHAPTER TWO
I slept in the solar, for Mistress Yvette (who slept with the countess) wanted me close if our lady should go into labour.
I now slept alone, unusual for me, as I had shared a bed with either Evelyn or Rosamund since I had joined the Pengraic household.
I had never slept in such a large or grand chamber. Although the chamber was the centre for the family’s daily activities, there was a little bed for me tucked away behind a screen in one corner. Once the castle had quietened down for the night I used to like to fold the screen back and go to sleep watching the crackle of the coals in the enormous fireplace. Once I had become used to the isolation of having the entire chamber to myself at night, I luxuriated in its splendour, and sometimes imagined myself as mistress of the castle, sleeping in a grand curtained bed, as did Lady Adelie.
This night began like all others preceding. It was several days since Brother Owain had showed me about his strangely wooded chapel. Owain had visited the countess yesterday, talking with her for most of the afternoon and returning later in the day with some sweet smelling herbal possets he said would aid my lady’s cough.
I had seen Stephen only on the two occasions he had visited his mother, once eating his evening meal with her, but had passed no words with him, nor had his eyes sought me out while he was in his mother’s company.
On this night I slipped into sleep almost immediately on lying down. I was tired, as the night previous, Mistress Yvette had been worried about our lady and we had sat by her bed as she slept fitfully. I had eventually returned to my own bed, but had lost half the night’s sleep.
I woke deep into the night and to this day I do not know what it was that disturbed my sleep.
Fully awake, I sat up, clutching the bedclothes to my chest. The fire was almost dead and cast only a warm glow about the room, and I had to blink several times to accustom my eyes to the dark.
There was no one else in the chamber and all was as it should be.
Nonetheless, I had the most strange compulsion to rise and go to the stairwell. I tried to ignore it, but the sensation was persistent and only grew stronger.
I sighed and rose, slipping on my linen chemise and drawing a mantle about my shoulders against the night’s chill.
I walked a few steps toward the screen that hid the entrance to the stairwell. But I stopped, overcome with the need to have my shoes.
I padded back to the bed and slipped my feet into the shoes.
Then I walked over to the screen, hesitated, and stepped around it.
Stephen stood there, leaning against the wall of the stairwell, arms folded, a small smile on his face.
‘The castle is quiet,’ he said. ‘Would you like to explore it a little?’
I was so dumbfounded I did not know what to say. What was Stephen doing here? It was deep night! I couldn’t just walk out and —
‘No one will see,’ he said. ‘All is quiet.’
‘I can’t —’
‘No one will see. All is quiet. Come now.’
He held out his hand, and I stood there like a fool and stared at it.
‘Maeb, come now.’
‘I cannot go with you. I cannot!’
He reached forward with his hand, taking mine in a gentle grip. He pulled slowly, but still I would not budge.
‘My lord, I cannot. I am as good as promised to Saint-Valery, and I will not! It would shame me to go with you now.’
His smiled broadened fractionally. ‘You are not promised to Saint-Valery. I heard that you were digging your heels in over that offer as stubbornly as you dig your heels in now. There is no shame in coming with me, Maeb. No one will know and I shall behave honourably. I just want to show you some of the castle’s secrets. It is a quiet moment. Maeb, no one will know. No one will wake.’
Still I hesitated, although perhaps he could see the uncertainty in my face, now.
‘Maeb, come with me. I will not take long and you will return to your bed long before any wake.’
‘There will be guards about. Night cooks in the kitchens. They will see. They will —’
‘Not tonight, Mae. Not tonight.’
His use of the diminutive disarmed me.
‘I will keep you safe,’ he said, and finally I relaxed enough that he could draw me into the stairwell.
We trod softly down. There were torches in the doorways at each level and that was enough to cast light through the well.
‘You have not been beyond the inner bailey, have you, Maeb?’
‘No.’
‘Then we will go to the northern keep — all full of sleeping knights and men who will not wake — and I will take you to its rooftop that I can show you the outer bailey. And then, Maeb, then I am going to show you what is so special about this castle. You will remember it all your life, and perhaps you will tell your grandchildren about it and I am sure they will never believe you.’
We were in the courtyard by the end of this long speech. Despite Stephen’s reassurances I was certain there would be movement here — horses, grooms, servants fetching to and fro. Even at this late hour there was always life in the castle.
Not tonight.
Stephen still had my hand, and now he pulled me a bit closer. ‘I have wanted so much to spend more time with you,’ he said, ‘but for you it was difficult, I know. I caused you some grief on our journey here with my ill-considered actions. I am sorry for that. But now that we’re here, we can —’
‘I have heard you are betrothed to a Norman heiress with lands and offices enough to make you a great man in this realm.’
Stephen pulled me to a halt just as we stepped under the keep’s gate that led to the inner bailey.
‘That pains you,’ he said, and to my distress my eyes welled with tears.
‘Oh, Mae,’ he said, ‘there is no straight path for either of us in this world or this life. I fear that neither of us will enjoy considerable happiness. There are such chasms between you and I, but on still nights like this, in such quiet moments as this, perhaps you and I can find a little peace. You and I will both, I think, have to snatch happiness where we can.’
‘That is a fine speech, my lord, and one in which I