Digital Etiquette For Dummies. Eric Butow

that you’re in an online meeting with video, so everyone else in the meeting sees you. You start using a bit of profanity, and you think no one will mind.

      Then, on one of the other cameras, you see that two children have walked in and are asking questions of their parent. The parent of that child gives a look into the camera that would melt lead.

      Oops.

      One definition of an adult is someone who sets a good example for others in any situation, including online communication. But how do you model that behavior?

      Adults: Being up front about behavior and modeling that behavior

      If you remember one rule in this book, please remember this one: Don’t do things online that you would never do in a face-to-face situation.

      It’s even more important to remember this rule because you face more variables online when you connect over the Internet. You’ve probably seen examples shown repeatedly on TV news programs where kids and/or pets have barged into a meeting room where someone is attending a meeting and the unintended visitors start distracting people.

Worse, when you communicate online via text, people can’t use your facial expressions and other non-verbal cues your body gives off to get the entire picture of what you are trying to say. Yes, emojis help a bit, but they can’t compensate for being there in person. And, without seeing you in person, people will fill in the gaps the best way they can. You may find yourself being defensive and confused when your intended recipient doesn’t take your message the way you expect.

      So, you guessed it, here’s a list of behaviors you should be up front about when you talk with people online.

       Understand the rules and community standards. This is especially important when you’re on social media websites, because they do have a lot of rules that you should know about. If you can’t find those rules, just perform a quick search, such as Facebook rules, to help. If the team responsible for your intranet has no rules or standards set up for communicating properly, ask them to put rules and standards on their site. You may have to formally approach your boss and put together a presentation to get it done, but it’s worth the effort to prevent miscommunication that wastes everyone’s time.

       Respect others. If you wouldn’t say something in person or in a face-to-face Zoom meeting, don’t say it in a text message, either. If you disrespect people in your brain and you don’t think it’s a problem, that information will get out. People will react. That's when you’ll find out that you have a problem.

       Be neutral. When you’re not sure about how someone will interpret information, keep what you’re saying as close to the facts as possible. Don’t inject your opinions into your argument, because someone might interpret it in any way they want.

       Understand when humor is warranted. Don’t use humor and sarcasm unless you know your audience well. If you’re sending an email message to your team and you all know each other’s communication styles, you can be freer to be yourself — but not always. For example, don’t be disrespectful to anyone, even if you’re on familiar terms with them. When you send messages to people you’re not familiar with, are you sure they’ll understand you?

       Don’t use all caps when you talk. You shouldn’t yell at someone in person, and you shouldn’t yell at someone online by using ALL CAPS.

       Don’t use multiple exclamation points. You can use an exclamation point sparingly when you need to make a forceful point, but don’t use multiple exclamation points. You’re in an online communication medium, not a comic strip.

       Keep personal information to a low ebb. If you give out personal information, make sure it’s related to the point you want to make. Otherwise, you don’t have to volunteer anything if you don’t want to — and keep in mind that, if you do share personal information, some people may try to use it against you if they feel you threaten them.

       Report violations. When you see a problem arise, report it. This is especially true of posts you see on social media, but it’s also true if you see private info that might badly affect others. For example, if a peer at work disrespects one or more groups of people, that will likely harm the company, so you should talk about it with your boss and/or human resources rep.

      

It takes constant practice to not only behave the right way but also think the right way. If you don’t practice (or you fall out of practice), whatever you’re thinking about will spill out without your questioning it because it seems so natural. And then you’re the proverbial frog in a pot full of warming water. (You know, the frog that eventually gets boiled alive because the heat keeps increasing — that frog.) So, practice at every opportunity. And one day you may find yourself giddy that you slayed some inner demons at the same time.

      Students: Interacting with classmates and being serious

      No matter whether you have kids old enough to understand your wise parental counsel about how to interact in a virtual classroom or you’re an adult student who’s taking online courses, a lot of what we cover earlier in this chapter applies to your experience in the online classroom.

      Obviously, there are some differences when people are talking in a live video chat as opposed to texting, using email, or using a learning management system (the industry term, not ours), such as Canvas, that allows your students to download and submit coursework as well as connect with each other.

      So, when you’re thinking about how to connect with your fellow students online or you want to talk with your kids about how to interact online, here’s the Cliffs Notes version of what to remember:

       Put your name in your message. Don’t assume that your instructor will recognize the username in your email address or the username you use in your learning management system. (You may want to look up the old proverb about the word assume.)

       Identify the course or subject you want information about. The answer you need depends on what you’re talking about. But if you just want to know the date of the next exam, the universal response still applies online: “Read the syllabus. Cripes!”

       Follow the leader. If you’re communicating with your instructor or a teacher’s aide — that is, anyone who outranks you in the classroom pecking order — let that person establish the level of conversation. You don’t want to send a message with profanity and acronyms that your instructor may not understand. (Okay, they'll probably understand the profanity, if not the acronyms.)

       Use proper grammar and punctuation. You’re using a written medium to communicate, so using proper writing skills will impress not only your instructor but also your fellow classmates. You’ll also want to pay attention to your instructor about how to use acronyms and emojis. (Instructors, we talk about using them later in this chapter.)

       Keep your tone neutral. You don’t know how other people will react to something you type that you think is funny. And you wouldn’t yell in a classroom, so don’t yell online by using all caps or exclamation points.

       Be factual. If you are unsure about something before you send it, check it out first. It’s important to get the facts straight in an assignment, so fact-check your information before you send it on in an email or a chat message. (It may be harder to check online during a video class because you need to pay attention to what’s going on.) If you’re not sure about something and you’re getting conflicting information from what you see in a Google search, bring up your concern with your instructor first. The instructor will give you some guidance and may thank you because now they can present this information to the rest of the class.

       Keep in mind that nothing is private online. If you’re talking to your children about this topic, it’s something you need to say early and often: Everything on the Internet is stored somewhere. Students should