– You’re great. You’re great. You’re gorgeous, it’s true. I saw your face in the masses. And now I don’t know what to do, since I’ll never be with you.
It’s already6 on the clock. Mike’s not due back from work until seven o’clock. I dump the sliced tomatoes into the frying pan and turn down the heat.
– Okay, now noodles…
It is a moment of my happiness, my love and boundless joy. I’m bustling around the kitchen with a glass of Chardonnay and enjoying the hustle and bustle. Everything is so perfect, it feels like a dream come true.
What else can I wish for? I love and am loved, I have an excellent job, a comfortable apartment, and every day I smile and am truly happy.
I dance out of the kitchen and through the living room to the bathroom to get the laundry out of the washing machine. My thoughts are occupied by my father and his words. He didn’t want me and Mike together. I remember the days when I went against my father’s vision, principles and standards. Nothing’s changed, I’m still the same. If only he could accept Mike into the family, I think that idyll would scare me. There’s no such thing as the perfect one. When everything is so great, at some point there’s going to be a breaking point.
I take out my own boyfriend’s black T-shirt and hang it lovingly on the dryer. This love is very crazy, very powerful for me. I’m ready to tie Mike down and not let him go anywhere, just so we can be together all the time. I miss him even when he goes to another room. Apparently I’m a «Mike addict,» it’s mind-boggling how he hasn’t run away from me yet.
Early eight o’clock, dinner is ready, and I’m sitting on the couch in the living room, watching Kevin Paris’s cooking show and taking another sip of wine from my glass. As the door opens, I jump out of my seat and run to meet my lethargic boyfriend. As usual, he opens his arms for me and presses me firmly against him. At this moment I am happier than ever. There he is – my man. I will never give him up to anyone.
– I missed it.
Mike kisses me on the top of my head.
– I’m a baby, too.
We stood in the hallway with our arms around each other to feel like we were together again. I could have stayed like this forever, but Mike was tired and hungry, so I had to let him go first.
– Guess what’s for dinner now?
I smile with all my two30 teeth and take the bag from him to put it back.
– Pasta.
He guessed, as usual.
– How do you do it?
Mike takes off his coat and walks over to me, kissing me lightly on the lips.
– That’s what I wanted to ask you!
– Me!?
– Yeah. – He takes my face in his hands and our lips meet again, only this time in a dizzying kiss. – I’ve missed you desperately. – He says into my lips and kisses me again.
– Are you hungry!?
Mike’s lips move from mine to my neck, and I pull my head back and close my eyes in pleasure. I feel as good as I’ve ever felt. His hot breath tickled my skin and a blissful grin appeared on my lips. I run my fingers through Mike’s hair and pull them down gently. His lips make a small path to my collarbone-it feels so good, it makes my knees tingle.
That night we sat down to dinner exclusively at the clock10. I was very happy, and that happiness, afterward, tortured me every moment I spent without Mike. The beautiful memoirs echoed in pain. I hated them and adored them. They were on constant rewind in my head. Closing my eyes, they brought me back to those times and kept me from remembering every touch, word, or gaze.
– Violet… Violet…
Mike’s voice sounded in the darkness, calling to me, asking me to come back. I heard him, and I walked toward him. It had always been that way, ever since the first day we’d met.
Little by little, the sounds that surrounded me began to reach me. After you faint, you want to fall back into that darkness, because it’s the only way to escape reality.
«Mike’s alive,» it sounded in my head as I opened my eyes and looked ahead of me. The man who’d let me believe he was dead and left me alone to suffer the pain of love lost forever was now standing over me with his furry head bowed.
– Are you awake!?
The familiar voice sent shivers through my body. I pulled myself up in my seat and put my arms around my shoulders. It looked like it was someone else’s room, so there was a good view of the city from the window, and I was also sitting in bed at the moment.
– How do you feel?
I looked at Mike. He’d changed, a lot. His hair was shoulder-length and practically blond, he had a beard, and the glow in his eyes that I’d seen every time we were together was gone. I couldn’t help but reach forward and put my hand over his face. He pressed it tighter with his warm hand and sighed heavily, closing his eyes.
– You’re alive. – I wheezed with excitement.
– Yes, alive.
He looked at me, and I didn’t know what to say to him. Everything was so confusing and hard to make sense of. My thoughts swirled around in my head in a frantic whirl. I wished I could just hug him and run away from here. This man meant so much to me, but he had caused me so much pain that I didn’t know what I was essentially feeling at the moment. I looked at him, but I no longer saw the familiar and desirable face that I adored so much. He had become a stranger to me.
I turned away from him as tears welled up.
– Hey!
Mike took me by the chin and turned me toward him. I tried not to look at him, tears running treacherously down my cheeks.
– Please don’t cry. – There was a familiar pain in his voice, and I looked up in surprise. – That’s it, baby. That’s it, look at me.
– Mike…
His name sent a wave of pain through my body, and I threw the blanket aside with a sob, got up, and clung to him tightly. The familiar feelings overwhelmed me, and I started sobbing profusely.
– Oh, Violet! I missed you, too. I’m sorry, darling. I’m sorry…
I clung tightly to his shirt, which was damp from my tears.
– I… I… thought you were dead. Why is that? Why is everything like this?
– Forgive me. I am so sorry for you.
– I thought… I thought… God, you’re alive. How can that be?
I pulled away from him and sat next to him, looking more intently into his face. He tucked a strand of loose hair behind my ear and then ran his hand down my cheek.
– Sorry.
He was so close that I couldn’t believe I’d already lost him once.
– Alive! – I exhaled as Mike took my hands. – But how?
– It’s hard to explain.
He stroked my hand with his huge finger, as if asking me to calm down.
– I’m not rushing anywhere.
– Not now, baby. Are you slowing down here?
– No. At the AZ Hotel.
Mike smiled guiltily at me and got out of bed.
– How long have you been in Algeria?
– Denek. What about you? Where have you been all this time?
There