His expression turned dark.
“But other covens are not so gracious. They will feed on humans. Usually, undesirables.”
“Undesirables?”
“Homeless, drifters, prostitutes…those who won’t be noticed. That’s the way it’s always been. They don’t want to draw attention to the race.
“That is why we consider my coven, my breed of vampire, to be pure blooded, and other types to be impure. What you feed on…it’s energy infuses you.”
Caitlin sat there, thinking.
“What about me?” She asked.
He looked at her.
“Why do I want to feed sometimes, but not others?”
He furrowed his brow.
“I’m not sure. It is different with you. You are a half breed. It is a very rare thing….I do know that you are coming-of-age. With others, they are turned, overnight. For you, it is a process. It may take time for you to settle, to go through whatever changes you are.”
Caitlin thought back and remembered her hunger pangs, how they’d overwhelmed her out of nowhere. How they’d made her unable to think of anything but feeding. It was horrible. She dreaded it happening again.
“But how do I know when it will happen again?”
He looked at her. “You don’t.”
“But I never want to kill a human,” she said. “Ever.”
“You don’t have to. You can feed on animals.”
“But what if it happens when I’m stuck somewhere?”
“You will need to learn to control it. It takes practice. And willpower. It is not easy. But it is possible. You can control it. It is what every vampire goes through.”
Caitlin thought about what it would be like to capture and feed on a live animal. She knew she was already faster than she’d ever been, but she didn’t know if she was that fast. And she wouldn’t even know what to do if she actually caught a deer.
She looked at him.
“Will you teach me?” she asked, hopefully.
He met her stare, and she could feel her heart beating.
“Feeding is a sacred thing in our race. It is always done alone,” he said, softly and apologetically. “Except…” He trailed off.
“Except?” she asked.
“In matrimonial ceremonies. To bind husband and wife.”
He looked away, and she could see him shift. She felt the blood rush to her cheek, and suddenly the room became very warm.
She decided to let it go. She had no hunger pangs now, and she could cross that path when she came to it. She hoped he would be by her side then.
Besides, deep down, she didn’t really care that much about feeding, or vampires, or swords, or any of it. What she really wanted to know was about him. Or, really, how he felt about her. There were so many questions she wanted to ask him. Why did you risk it all for me? Was it just to find the sword? Or was it something else? Once you find your sword, will you still stay with me? Even though romance with a human is forbidden, would you ever cross the line for me?
But she was afraid.
So, instead, she simply said: “I hope we find your sword.”
Lame, she thought. Is that the best you can do? Can’t you ever get the courage to say what you’re thinking?
But his energy was too intense, and whenever she was around him, it made it hard for her to think clearly.
“As do I,” he responded. “It is no ordinary weapon. It has been coveted by our kind for centuries. It is rumored to be the finest example of Turkish sword ever crafted, made of a metal that can kill all vampires. With it, we’d be invincible. Without it…”
He trailed off, apparently afraid of voicing the consequences.
Caitlin wished Sam was here, wished he could help lead them to her dad. She surveyed the barn again. She didn’t see any recent signs of him. She wished, again that she hadn’t lost her cell on the way. It would have made life so much easier.
“Sam always used to crash here,” she said. “I was sure he’d be here. But I know he came back to this town – I’m sure of it. He wouldn’t go anywhere else. Tomorrow we’ll go to school, and I’ll talk to my friends. I’ll find out.”
Caleb nodded. “You believe he knows where your father is?” he asked.
“I…don’t know,” she answered. “But I know that he knows a lot more about him than me. He’s been trying to find him forever. If anyone knows anything, it’s him.”
Caitlin thought back and remembered all those times with Sam, his always searching, showing her new leads, always getting disappointed. All the nights he’d go to his room and sit on the edge of her bed. His desire to see their father had been overwhelming, like a living thing inside of him. She felt it, too, but not as badly as he. In some ways, his disappointment had been harder to watch.
Caitlin thought of their messed-up childhood, of all that they’d missed, and suddenly felt overcome by emotion. A tear formed at the corner of her eye, and, embarrassed, she wiped it away quickly, hoping Caleb hadn’t seen.
But he had. He looked up and watched her, intensely.
He got up slowly and sat beside her. He was so close, she could feel his energy. It was intense. Her heart started to pound.
He gently ran a finger through her hair, pushing it back off her face. Then he ran it along the corner of her eye, and then down her cheek.
She kept her face down, staring at the floor, afraid to meet his eyes. She could feel them examining her.
“Don’t worry,” he said, his soft, deep voice putting her completely at ease. “We will find your father. We’ll do it together.”
But that wasn’t what she was worried about. She was worried about him. Caleb. Worried about when he would leave her.
If she faced him, she wondered if he would kiss her. She was dying to feel the touch of his lips.
But she was afraid to turn her head.
It felt like hours passed until she finally summoned the courage to turn.
But he had already turned away. He was leaning gently back against the hay, eyes closed, asleep, a gentle smile on his face, lit by the firelight.
She slid closer to him and leaned back, resting her head inches away from his shoulder. They were almost touching.
And almost was enough for her.
Two
Caitlin slid back the door to the barn and squinted at a world covered in snow. White sunlight bounced off of everything. She brought her hands to her eyes, feeling a pain she had never quite experienced: her eyes were absolutely killing her.
Caleb stepped out beside her, as he was finishing wrapping his arms and neck in a thin, clear material. It almost looked like Saran wrap, but it seemed to dissolve in his skin as he put it on. She couldn’t even tell it was there.
“What’s that?”
“Skin wrap,” he said, looking down as he wrapped it carefully again and again over his arms and shoulders. “It’s what allows us to go out in the sunlight. Otherwise, our skin would burn.” He looked her over. “You don’t need it – yet.”
“How do you know?” she asked.
“Trust me,” he said, grinning. “You’d know.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small canister of eye