Soon after that realization, RE/MAX founder and friend Dave Liniger provided the wisdom I needed to move on: People need to be in an environment where they can be as successful as they want—where they look up instead of down.
I learned to redirect my fears, embrace “I can,” accept the challenges, be a leader of myself and others, and take action. I also learned that each of us has to take care of ourselves. Why? Because if you're stuck, you can't possibly help others get unstuck. Think about the safety briefing on an airplane, which reminds passengers before takeoff: “In the event of cabin depressurization, the oxygen masks will fall … place it over your nose and mouth and breathe normally … once you have secured your mask, you may help others around you.”
The deeper meaning is that in order to help others, each of us must help ourselves first. Too often people try to help others when, in reality, they need help themselves.
THE SKY IS YOUR LIMIT
Since I rebounded from burnout, I've been a SWAT team leader and entrepreneur. I started an online police supply company in the 1990s and then formed a security consulting firm not long after that. I earned an MBA, and today I helm RE/MAX, one of the world's largest companies. You may recognize us from our red, white, and blue hot-air balloons that dot the skies across the country and around the world. We have more than 140,000 agents in more than 8,700 offices across 110 countries and territories. RE/MAX is in the business of selling real estate and mortgage franchises, sharing information, offering mortgages, providing guidance, and, above all, helping people believe in themselves and become better at what they do.
I didn't initially build the company—Dave Liniger and his RE/MAX team did that. But I've worked with the company since 2004, helmed it since 2018, and in the process helped many others find their own wins along the way. I say that with great humility because sometimes all it takes is a small tailwind, a slight change in attitude and approach, and you, too, can score a win.
LOCUS OF CONTROL
During tough times, we make the conscious effort not to level blame but rather to head into the storm, face the problems, come up with the solutions, and take action. Any leader who blames someone else for anything is not leading; they are blaming. It's back to the “I can” versus the excuses why not.
Human nature dictates that we level blame against a person as opposed to a process. However, blaming a person is an attack that diverges from solving the problem. Before laying blame, think about what your internal problems are. Anyone can lay blame, but not everyone has the fortitude and balance to lead across all aspects of their lives. Great leaders fix problems instead of placing blame.
OWNING THE OUTCOMES
Any of us can achieve that balance if we take ownership of outcomes. The psychology behind the concept is a version of locus of control. Developed in 1954 by Julian B. Rotter, PhD, locus of control refers to whether we take ownership of outcomes or make excuses and blame others.3
Someone who praises or blames external factors for outcomes exhibits external locus of control. You lost the game because it rained. Not your fault, right? Wrong! You lost the game because your opponent outplayed you that particular day regardless of the weather. Conversely, people with an internal locus of control take ownership of outcomes. You did poorly on an exam or didn't achieve your sales goals, for example, so you recognize that you didn't prepare enough or that you didn't lay the right groundwork. You own the fact that the results are up to you.
In other words, your locus of control determines the degree to which you feel you have control over your results and ultimately your life. You can either own the results regardless of outside forces, or you can blame them on outside forces and be the perennial victim.
FOUNDATION FOR LEADERSHIP, BALANCE
Locus of control is holistic across all parts of life. It's a foundational aspect of leadership, too. We can achieve a holistic and healthy approach to life with ownership of outcomes. Locus of control is the beginning of balance because each of us must be in charge of how we choose to operate and what outcomes we create.
Ultimately, we can't pick and choose when to be a leader and when not to be. Leaders lead across all aspects of their lives. Constantly and consistently, they create wins and learn from losses in everything they do.
YOUR TURN
Which locus of control do you have? Think about this for a moment. What do you believe when it comes to your outcomes?
Do you blame someone or something else for negative results? Are your financial issues the fault of society or someone else? Is the amount of money you make your doing or someone else's? Is your poor health the fault of the food engineer at the potato chip factory or the ice cream shop down the street? Are your weight issues and back pain the fault of the couch manufacturer?
If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, you should thank your boss for doing your job for you so you can collect a paycheck. So many people blame others when the fault is their own. If you feel like a victim of society and you can't do anything about it, again, that's external locus of control. Conversely, if you understand that you get what you get but you will do everything you can through your own actions to make that outcome the best one possible—with comfort in the risk even if it doesn't come out in your favor—that's internal locus of control. I view internal locus of control as expending energy, effort, and focus on the project, and not on excuses or criticisms.
LEADERSHIP QUALITY
Leaders generally have a strong internal locus of control; they use any situation to learn and adapt rather than lay blame. It's OK not to succeed at something; it's not OK as a leader to blame something or someone else. When you believe you can always impact the outcome—internal locus of control—you will learn as much from negative outcomes as positive ones and be more likely to overcome failures. There will be problems and fails; that's OK as long as you understand it's all part of the process of getting better.
So many people in life try to blame shortcomings, missed opportunities, or failures on something other than their own actions, or lack thereof. Those same people try to take credit for their successes. You can't have it both ways!
TAKE ACTION
We've all at some point hesitated to take action out of fear—the Beast within each of us. Maybe you identified an ideal sales prospect but hesitated to make the cold call, or you were invited to address an audience and backed out.
Rather than freeze with inaction, a leader uses that fear as a reason to act, to do something about the situation. A leader fires off that email, picks up the phone, knocks on the door, walks to the podium, and embraces the crowd without a second thought. Successful people take action when others don't.
A ROOKIE COP
In the early 1990s, I was a rookie reserve police officer in Cherry Hills Village, an upscale community in south Denver. I was in training working the night shift when we received an alarm from a local megachurch—one of those with a huge sanctuary that holds hundreds of people. My training sergeant, Pat, and I immediately responded, along with two other squad cars.
The