Euseby Treen.
“A sober-paced and rigid man, if such there be. Few keep Lent like unto him.”
William Shakspeare.
“I warrant him, both lent and stolen.”
Sir Thomas.
“Peace and silence! Now, Joseph Carnaby, do thou depose on particulars.”
Joseph Carnaby.
“May it please your worship! I was returning from Hampton upon Allhallowmas eve, between the hours of ten and eleven at night, in company with Master Euseby Treen; and when we came to the bottom of Mickle Meadow, we heard several men in discourse. I plucked Euseby Treen by the doublet, and whispered in his ear, ‘Euseby! Euseby! let us slink along in the shadow of the elms and willows.’”
Euseby Treen.
“Willows and elm-trees were the words.”
William Shakspeare.
“See, your worship! what discordances! They cannot agree in their own story.”
Sir Silas.
“The same thing, the same thing, in the main.”
William Shakspeare.
“By less differences than this estates have been lost, hearts broken, and England, our country, filled with homeless, helpless, destitute orphans. I protest against it.”
Sir Silas.
“Protest, indeed! He talks as if he were a member of the House of Lords. They alone can protest.”
Sir Thomas.
“Your attorney may object, not protest, before the lord judge.
“Proceed you, Joseph Carnaby.”
Joseph Carnaby.
“In the shadow of the willows and elm-trees, then—”
William Shakspeare.
“No hints, no conspiracies! Keep to your own story, man, and do not borrow his.”
Sir Silas.
“I overrule the objection. Nothing can be more futile and frivolous.”
William Shakspeare.
“So learned a magistrate as your worship will surely do me justice by hearing me attentively. I am young; nevertheless, having more than one year written in the office of an attorney, and having heard and listened to many discourses and questions on law, I cannot but remember the heavy fine inflicted on a gentleman of this county who committed a poor man to prison for being in possession of a hare, it being proved that the hare was in his possession, and not he in the hare’s.”
Sir Silas.
“Synonymous term! synonymous term!”
Sir Thomas.
“In what term sayest thou was it? I do not remember the case.”
Sir Silas.
“Mere quibble mere equivocation! Jesuitical! Jesuitical!”
William Shakspeare.
“It would be Jesuitical, Sir Silas, if it dragged the law by its perversions to the side of oppression and cruelty. The order of Jesuits, I fear, is as numerous as its tenets are lax and comprehensive. I am sorry to see their frocks flounced with English serge.”
Sir Silas.
“I don’t understand thee, viper!”
Sir Thomas.
“Cease thou, Will Shakspeare! Know thy place. And do thou, Joseph Carnaby, take up again the thread of thy testimony.”
Joseph Carnaby.
“We were still at some distance from the party, when on a sudden Euseby hung an —” [21a]
Sir Thomas.
“As well write drew back, Master Ephraim and Master Silas! Be circumspecter in speech, Master Joseph Carnaby! I did not look for such rude phrases from that starch-warehouse under thy chin. Continue, man!”
Joseph Carnaby.
“‘Euseby,’ said I in his ear, ‘what ails thee, Euseby?’ ‘I wag no farther,’ quoth he. ‘What a number of names and voices!’”
Sir Thomas.
“Dreadful gang! a number of names and voices! Had it been any other day in the year but Allhallowmas eve! To steal a buck upon such a day! Well! God may pardon even that. Go on, go on. But the laws of our country must have their satisfaction and atonement. Were it upon any other day in the calendar less holy, the buck were nothing, or next to nothing, saving the law and our conscience and our good report. Yet we, her Majesty’s justices, must stand in the gap, body and soul, against evil-doers. Now do thou, in furtherance of this business, give thine aid unto us, Joseph Carnaby!—remembering that mine eye from this judgment-seat, and her Majesty’s bright and glorious one overlooking the whole realm, and the broader of God above, are upon thee.”
Carnaby did quail a matter at these words about the judgment-seat and the broad eye, aptly and gravely delivered by him moreover who hath to administer truth and righteousness in our ancient and venerable laws, and especially, at the present juncture, in those against park-breaking and deer-stealing. But finally, nought discomfited, and putting his hand valiantly atwixt hip and midriff, so that his elbow well-nigh touched the taller pen in the ink-pot, he went on.
Joseph Carnaby.
“‘In the shadow of the willows and elm-trees,’ said he, ‘and get nearer.’ We were still at some distance, maybe a score of furlongs, from the party—”
Sir Thomas.
“Thou hast said it already—all save the score of furlongs.”
“Hast room for them, Master Silas?”
“Yea,” quoth Master Silas, “and would make room for fifty, to let the fellow swing at his ease.”
Sir Thomas.
“Hast room, Master Ephraim?”
“’T is done, most worshipful!” said I. The learned knight did not recollect that I could put fifty furlongs in a needle’s eye, give me pen fine enough.
But far be it from me to vaunt of my penmanship, although there be those who do malign it, even in my own township and parish; yet they never have unperched me from my calling, and have had hard work to take an idle wench or two from under me on Saturday nights.
I memorize thus much, not out of any malice or any soreness about me, but that those of my kindred into whose hands it please God these papers do fall hereafter, may bear up stoutly in such straits; and if they be good at the cudgel, that they, looking first at their man, do give it him heartily and unsparingly, keeping within law.
Sir Thomas, having overlooked what we had written, and meditated a while thereupon, said unto Joseph,—
“It appeareth by thy testimony that there was a huge and desperate gang of them afoot. Revengeful dogs! it is difficult to deal with them. The laws forbid precipitancy and violence. A dozen or two may return and harm me; not me, indeed, but my tenants and servants. I would fain act with prudence, and like unto him who looketh abroad. He must tie his shoe tightly who passeth through mire; he must step softly who steppeth over stones; he must walk in the fear of the Lord (which, without a brag, I do at this present feel upon me), who hopeth to reach the end of the straightest road in safety.”
Sir Silas.
“Tut, tut! your worship! Her Majesty’s deputy hath matchlocks and halters at a knight’s disposal, or the world