Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is Available:
ISBN 978-1-119-78613-9 (Hardcover)
ISBN 978-1-119-78614-6 (ePDF)
ISBN 978-1-119-78615-3 (ePub)
Cover design: Paul McCarthy
Acknowledgments
We both owe a debt of gratitude to our colleagues of all types—coaches, human resources leaders, talent leaders, and business leaders. Each one has informed and improved our work. Naming them all would take a new book, but if you read this and think, "Do they mean me?" then the answer is "Yes!" You all have helped us learn and grow every time we worked together.
The hundreds of clients we have had over the past 15 years have taught us so much about human nature, and ourselves. You have given us the trust and respect to let us help you be who you are capable of being.
Our guest contributors have been phenomenal colleagues and allies. Each took time out of very busy lives to stop, read parts of the manuscript, and write their own thoughts to make the book stronger.
We owe endless thanks to our people at John Wiley and Sons. Our publisher, Richard Narramore, his associate, Victoria Anllo, and our editor, Deborah Schindlar, have consistently shown the trust and respect for us that is essential to writing partnerships. You made us much more intelligent and articulate than we really are. If you were make-up artists, we'd probably look like Paul Newman and Robert Redford.
Bill Berman:
I have had a number of mentors throughout my career who have supported, helped, advised, cajoled, and cheered me on as I have gone down this long and winding road called a career. Brendan Maher, Sidney Blatt, and Dennis Turk got me into psychology and into the real world. Jeremy Kisch taught me some useful lessons, and John Clarkin and Marv Reznikoff supported and fertilized my intellectual pursuits. Steve Hurt was the best back-office partner that a front-office entrepreneur could have. Joe Braga and John Raden also taught me a lot about being a leader of an organization. John Scott, Kathleen Lundquist, and the team at APTMetrics had the faith and trust in me to start me on my consulting psychology path. My colleagues and friends at PrimeGenesis helped me to understand the complexity of large public companies, and saw the benefit of having both business and psychological perspectives in our work together. My friends at the Society for Consulting Psychology, especially the board members and my study group partners, have taught me what it really means to have an impact on a larger organization. And, for the past 15 years, my co-author, colleague, and friend George has been a never-ending source of encouragement, challenge, and inspiration. I would not be at this point without all of your influences.
To the coaches who work with me at various clients, you have been wonderful partners and colleagues, and allowed me the room to write this book. Kristina Lalas, Lucienne Lunn, and Taylere Markewich have been my recent associates at Berman Leadership, and have made sure that everything I do is on time and of the highest quality, while keeping me focused on what is most important. I also want to express my appreciation to the psychotherapy patients I had the honor to work with before becoming a coach. You taught me about honesty, empathy, insight, forgiveness, and the value of self-awareness.
My wife, Ellen, has been a rock of consistency for me and for the family, providing love and caring, endlessly tolerant of my long work hours and my never-ending stream of projects. My children have been great in spite of what they call my slight case of ADHD: Daniel, Mandy, Jon, and Shane have supported and encouraged me, from reading drafts, to critiquing, to helping me keep my sense of humor and humility. My family of origin has had influence and impact for many decades—Jill, Richard, Kate, Brad and Ruth, and my late father Bill and mother Jean, who passed too soon. And of course, “The New Year's Eve Gang”—I would not be here without you.
George Bradt:
To Meg, who seems to greet every one of my new initiatives—from businesses to books to musical plays and everything in between—with a bemused look of “Oh no. Not again,” and ends up supporting everything I do in a way to which no one else on the planet could begin to come close, and has turned my focus from what I can do myself to how I can influence and impact others—abounding gratitude.
Introduction*: Enhance Your Influence and Impact by Focusing on the Mission-Critical Parts of Your Role and Adapting to the Culture of the Organization
Over the past 30 years, we have seen hundreds of people in our roles as coaches, consultants, line managers, entrepreneurs, and psychologists (Bill) and marketers (George). Many of these competent, capable leaders and professionals do most of their work very well, but still feel they are struggling to get the rewards, recognition, and growth that they are expecting.
Some have been in roles where they feel they are flying, but then things slow down. Others are in jobs where they are overwhelmed, overburdened, under-resourced, time-pressured, and feeling stressed, lonely, and exhausted. Still others feel a general sense of malaise, as though they are stuck in place, and do not look forward to going to work every day. Millions of workers, managers, and executives find themselves in this situation at some point in their career.
In most jobs, you find meaning and value by being able to influence others and have an impact on the organization and its mission. In all of the scenarios above, you likely feel you have lost your ability to influence the people around you. When your capacity to bring others along is diminished, or you are not contributing to your organization's overall success, your job satisfaction and engagement drop, your frustration increases, and your stress level rises.
Why does this happen so often? Sometimes, the reason truly is not under your control. In some cases, your manager is difficult or unsupportive, and is not likely to change. Sometimes, there are structural problems with the job, and there is no way to have influence or impact under the current framework. But this book is not for those situations. For a large majority of people, the struggle to have influence or impact and satisfaction in their work comes, not from external factors, but rather from something that they are able to manage and change.
What has become clear to us, through our work with people from CEOs to first-line managers, and even individual contributors, is that many people are unintentionally misunderstanding critical aspects of their job. When organizations send clients to us for executive coaching or onboarding, we look carefully at how they spend their time, how they think about their job, and how they do that job.
Many times, we find that they are not focused on the essential elements of their job. They may be doing someone else's job unintentionally. They may be trying to do their colleagues’ jobs, either implicitly or by making a premature power grab to take on greater scope or responsibility. Sometimes, they are only doing one part of their job—the part they like, or the part that is most familiar.
Sometimes, when working with leaders, we find they are doing the right things, but in a way that is inconsistent with the style, attitudes, and mores of their organization. In some cases, they are decisive when they need to be collaborative. They are direct and blunt when they need to be tactful and patient.
One client, Ian, worked in a formal banking setting. Everyone wore Zegna suits or St. James knits, but he persisted in wearing casual clothes. This leader was doing the right work, but his style and approach undermined his ability to influence other bankers. He was fortunate to have a senior manager watching out for him. As he gave him a promotion to lead