Impurity. Larry Tremblay. Читать онлайн. Newlib. NEWLIB.NET

Автор: Larry Tremblay
Издательство: Ingram
Серия:
Жанр произведения: Триллеры
Год издания: 0
isbn: 9781772012958
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agreeing to her request. He has never liked the totally predictable plots, with a drop of suspense, that Alice generally churned out without too much stress every couple of years. Her books were anticipated by a readership won over in advance. Reviewers praised them mechanically with a purring of adjectives. She appeared on TV, ultimate accolade for a writer. But this whole circus never drove Antoine to think of his wife’s novels as literature. To him, Alice placed on the market supposedly cultural products. He conceded, of course, that she had qualities the absence of which he deplored in himself: rigour, discipline, determination, optimism. He admired her. She was happy, he thought, because she was perfectly in tune with the shallow and pointless world she lived in. On the day when she was getting ready to receive a prize, dazzling in a dress purchased for the occasion, hadn’t Alice told him that her writing was building the world of tomorrow? He had asked her how.

      “Just read my novels carefully. Between the lines there is space and time. That’s where everything happens. That’s where the world is bursting out, emerging from the present.”

      In the end he agreed to meet the journalist the next day. She would come to his house. As he hung up he blamed himself for agreeing. He has nothing to say about the novel that had monopolized his wife’s final months. He would pocket her royalties, at least he’ll be able to say that.

      Chapter 2

      That Friday, he arbitrarily stole Simone de Beauvoir’s Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter. When he runs into Félix on the sidewalk of rue Racine, he opens his coat. At first Félix doesn’t see what he’s getting at and pretends not to recognize Antoine, whose linguistics notes he’d borrowed just the day before. Antoine extricates his loot, wedged behind his belt. With a theatrical gesture, he holds out the book. Félix appears horrified. He doesn’t want to touch the paperback, as if it were contaminated. At once Antoine feels an attraction for this boy who is staring at him with his very dark round eyes. He puts de Beauvoir’s book back under his shirt, buttons his coat, and invites his new friend to a restaurant, Le Top, that has just opened on the roof of a furniture store, a surprising new arrival in Chicoutimi. He really wants to know this exotic type who flaunts moral values to the point of indignation at petty shoplifting.

      “His heart was found intact in the calcified remains of his body.”

      “How can you believe such a thing?”

      “To me it’s organic, physiological proof which is spiritual as well, that matter dialogues with the spirit. Just now when we’re talking peacefully in this café, do you know what’s going on? Billions of events. Antoine, it’s enough to think of one’s body as an antenna, a radar if you prefer, to enter into contact with the whole universe. And the universe for me is not the cosmos. The universe is everything that has to do with humankind.”

      “That’s nonsense. The universe, the cosmos, are the same thing.”

      “No they aren’t. But that doesn’t really matter. What matters is what connects humans. It hardly matters what they think, what they do. People are connected. No one can escape the universal connection. What happens if you and I, at the very moment when the waitress tucks away a lock of hair and the client sitting on our left gets up to pay, if we open our eyes, our ears, our hearts, and send our consciousness out to listen to the universe like an enormous radar?”

      “Lots of things, I imagine.”

      “What should we do? Organize a demonstration against the war in Vietnam here in Chicoutimi, or stop drinking coffee?”

      “I’m trying to make you understand what I mean by ‘universe.’ Do you know that right now there’s a cholera epidemic in Bangladesh?”

      “No …”

      “Well there is, a terrible epidemic. And when we’ve finished our coffees there’ll be a thousand or maybe even ten thousand more victims. Whole villages where the corpses are dumped into stinking pits. Men with gas masks over their mouths suffocate in the acrid smoke from the pyres they’ve lit to burn the victims’ furniture and clothes. That must be how it happens. Like the plague, d’you see? Radar, Antoine. No one can escape. And the heart of Thích Quảng Đức, in my opinion, is just that: the absolute act condensed into one muscle. Something that no one can explain, can comprehend. Because explaining and comprehending mean nothing when you’re dealing with a … a … I can’t come up with a word for it. The same as for music. Must we explain, must we understand music? No. Music is what most resembles the heart of Thích Quảng Đức. Something that acts in the whole universe but we aren’t able to explain or comprehend it. Do you understand?”

      “Are you a Buddhist?”

      “Not at all. I believe in Christ.”

      “Do you think I know myself? Lots of things escape me. I may be the one person who knows the least about myself.”

      “When did it happen?”

      “What?”

      “That business of the suicide by fire.”

      “On