CLARISSA
9.
EMILY
Which gives us nine hours to drink, to wander over to the dance floor and to find a guy or two.
CLARISSA PICKS UP HER PHONE. SHE STARES AT THE SCREEN. SHE SMILES.
CLARISSA
Wanna go to New York?
EMILY
What?
CLARISSA READS ALOUD THE MESSAGE ON HER PHONE.
CLARISSA
Hi, my little angel. Just letting you know that I'll be in New York for the next three days. The flights are on me if you and Emily would like to visit. I miss you very much. We can spend some time together in between my speeches. I'll be speaking about . . .
CLARISSA TURNS THE PHONE OVER. SHE REMOVES THE BACK COVER.
EMILY
Is the battery flat?
CLARISSA REMOVES THE BATTERY AND THEN THE SIM CARD. SHE PUTS THE SIM CARD IN HER POCKET.
EMILY
Clarissa?
CLARISSA PLACES THE BATTERY BACK INTO THE PHONE, THEN CLIPS THE COVER INTO PLACE LIKE THE SMALL GADGET IS SOME KIND OF IKEA BMW FRESH OFF THE PRODUCTION LINE.
CLARISSA
Oh no. I seem to have lost my phone.
CLARISSA TOSSES THE PHONE ONTO AN EMPTY TABLE SEVERAL METRES AWAY.
EMILY
Clarissa; how'd the message end? New York would be great but aren't you meant be going back to University of Utah soon?
CLARISSA
Speech on foreign affairs. I don't know if I really wanna go. It's up to you Emily. Tell you what; if we wanna prepare for this imaginary reality show you were talking about then we'll have to sample everything from the bar - so we know our favorite drinks.
CLARISSA DOWNS HER TEQUILA SUNRISE.
EMILY
Ha. Clarissa!
CLARISSA STANDS UP. SHE PLACES A HAND ON EMILY'S SHOULDER.
Come on Em; let's purchase some more poison.
EMILY
Your call.
EMILY DOWNS HER DRINK AND STANDS UP ALSO.
EMILY
Does this mean we're not sleeping tonight?
CLARISSA
You bet.
THEY RETURN TO THE BAR.
******
1 My Culture – 1 Giant Leap, Maxi Jazz, and Robbie Williams (http://www.dailymotion.com/.../xbzb7_1-giant-leap-my...)
2 My Culture – 1 Giant Leap, Maxi Jazz, and Robbie Williams (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J05X-vtB_X4)
3 We Are All Made Of Stars – Moby (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAh6fk0KD1c&ob=av3e)
******
INT. NIGHTCLUB - LATER NIGHT
(CLARISSA, EMILY, CITIZEN 1, CITIZEN 2)
CLARISSA IS TIPSY. SHE TILTS HER HEAD TO THE LEFT AND WE SEE THE CLUB SCENE STUMBLE. IT ALMOST TRIPS.
CLARISSA
Emily - I don't don't like straight tequila. I don't like it because it makes my head tilt and I don't mind my head tilting but only when I tell it to . . . I don't want these slimy tequila tics in my head tellin' it how to hang.
EMILY
And I don't like vodka vermin.
CLARISSA
I don't like spin. I get dizzy.
EMILY
I'm gonna spin like a politician. Wanna dance?
CLARISSA
Girl . . . you . . . cannot even . . . stand and I'm so . . . off my head I'll be dancing like a poli . . .
EMILY
Like Boris Yeltsin.
CITIZEN 1
Yeah, so we just gonna sit back and watch as they fly more planes into our buildings?! Look son, that plane hit the Empire State dead on! What a shot. Which tower do you think they'll sink next?
THE CAMERA PANS TO THE BAR AND CAPTURES TWO MEN, HEAVILY INTOXICATED.
CITIZEN 2
No no no! Why don't we fuckin' sit back and watch countries get bombed!? Look son, it's bye bye Iraq! Bye bye Afghanistan!
CITIZEN 1
Oh ok! So we let them all in!? Fuckin' open country! Bring all your n**** friends and t****heads and we'll all drink cocktails as we plan the next attack! Fuck it, we already got ourselves a n**** president!
CITIZEN 2
Obama's more American than you'll ever be, you fuckin' f*****! He's bringin' our troops back home, instead of leaving 'em there to rot.
THE FIRST GUY STANDS. HE KICKS HIS STOOL TO THE GROUND.
CITIZEN 1
Don't you ever tell me I'm not American! I'm born and bred Texan. My parents are from Texas, my grandparents, their parents, their parents. Where the fuck are you from you fuckin' ape!?
THE SECOND MAN STANDS.
CITIZEN 2
From right here in Utah for your information. And my son is in Afghanistan right now fighting for our beautiful country. And I'll exclude you from that "our" if you don't mind.
CITIZEN 1
Oh I very much mind!
THE FIRST GUY PICKS UP A BOTTLE. HE CRACKS IT ON THE BAR. HE POINTS IT AT THE SECOND GUY.
CLARISSA
Em, tell the DJ I want "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)"!
EMILY
Clarissa! What are you doing?
CLARISSA
You know.
CLARISSA WINKS. THE CAMERA'S SO SHY IT DOESN'T KNOW WHERE TO LOOK. A SECURITY GUARD RUNS TOWARD THE MAN WITH THE BOTTLE. CLARISSA HOPS ONTO THE STAGE. EMILY RUSHES OVER TO THE DJ. THE SECOND MAN TAKES TWO OR THREE STEPS BACK. THE CAMERA'S SPINNING BUT WHEN IT COMES TO A STOP ITS GAZE IS ON CLARISSA AND CLARISSA'S ON STAGE NEXT TO A POLE.
A GUY HANDS CLARISSA A MICROPHONE. AND ALREADY SOME CURIOUS HEADS ARE TURNING. THE MUSIC STARTS. CLARISSA SINGS, WRAPS HER LEGS AROUND THE POLE, AND THEN PLANTS THEM BACK ON THE GROUND LIKE THEY'RE ELASTIC BANDS.
CLARISSA WINKS - THIS TIME AT THE AUDIENCE. SHE BEGINS TO SING THE BACKSTREET BOYS' "EVERYBODY (BACKSTREET'S BACK)" REPLACING ANY PLURAL PRONOUNS WITH SINGULAR "I"'S, HIGHLIGHTING HERSELF, HER DANCING, HER SINGING, HER BODY. CHATTER BUILDS UP; EXCITED CHATTER. IMMEDIATELY THE MAN DROPS THE BOTTLE. HE RAISES HIS HANDS. AND EVEN THOUGH WE CAN'T HEAR HIM WE CAN TELL HE'S PLEADING WITH SECURITY TO LET HIM STAY. SECONDS LATER HE AND THE SECOND GUY ARE SHAKING HANDS, PATTING EACH OTHER ON THE BACK, AND DOING EVERYTHING SHORT OF KISSING. CLARISSA HOPS OFF THE STAGE BUT CONTINUES TO SING. SHE STROLLS ELOQUENTLY THROUGH THE CROWD, HIDING